tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-264128002024-03-13T18:24:22.720-05:00According to e...Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.comBlogger569125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-21264827542602897082016-11-06T15:31:00.000-06:002017-01-09T13:21:19.102-06:00My Trump ConfessionHello my dear friends - <br />
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Before this hideous election that we all want to be over is actually over, there are some things I feel compelled to clear up with people who have known me since I was young.<br />
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I waited so long to publish this because 1) it took me forever to write, 2) it's extremely personal and in parts very embarrassing and I went back and forth about it and had to clear some content with a few other people, and 3) since we're only two days before the election, I'm not trying to change anyone's vote (most people I know (on all sides of the political spectrum) have already voted anyway), but rather just have peace of mind by publicly stating where I stand—and more importantly, why.<br />
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This post is LONG, and so I have condensed the first few sections into an "executive summary" of sorts, with all of the supporting sections down below (beginning with the heading THE EXTENDED VERSION: BABIES, GUNS AND POOP).<br />
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I don't expect anyone at all to read this entire thing, I just had to do it for myself. (Plus, anyone who used to read my LOST blog knows I've never exactly been short on words.)<br />
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<b>SOME BACKGROUND </b><br />
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So here we go. Here's what I wanted to get out in the open: the cold hard truth is that Donald Trump has played a huge role in determining the direction of my career, and therefore my life. It began, I believe, with my first visit to New York in 1986. My aunt lived in Manhattan, and we visited her during the Statue of Liberty's Bicentennial Celebration in 1986, as pictured below.<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2Y745NQi3Dg/WBzLYNMv9aI/AAAAAAAAO8U/jOLvtQUcPes8hHWzXe8gyDfVQ1iUV9BaQCLcB/s1600/1986%2BNYC%2BSoL%2Bbicentennial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="I was going to make a crack about '80s fashion but the image of the twin towers made me put things in perspective." border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2Y745NQi3Dg/WBzLYNMv9aI/AAAAAAAAO8U/jOLvtQUcPes8hHWzXe8gyDfVQ1iUV9BaQCLcB/s400/1986%2BNYC%2BSoL%2Bbicentennial.jpg" title="I was going to make a crack about '80s fashion but the image of the twin towers made me put things in perspective." width="550" /></a></div>
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I loved everything about New York City. And at some point during that trip, we must have gone into or past Trump Tower, and then I'm sure either my aunt or my parents told me about Donald Trump as a result.<br />
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The next year his best-selling book, <i>The Art of the Deal,</i>* was published, and I sought it out. I was 13 years old. (No one ever said I wasn't a nerd from the beginning.) So yeah, I was into Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, WWF Wrestling (yep, really) ... and Donald Trump. I was very proud of the fact I'd read his book and bragged about it all the time.<br />
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Because of Trump I joined business-related clubs in high school and got an undergraduate business degree from Michigan Business School (which is now called Ross). I was never into politics and I don't think I ever even heard the terms "conservative" or "liberal" back then. But now that I know what they mean, I understand that where I grew up in Michigan is fairly conservative and homogenous, whereas the University of Michigan and the town it's in (Ann Arbor) are very, very liberal and diverse.<br />
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But I did not really open myself up to new ways of thinking and new experiences while at Michigan. I'd say if anything I was privately intimidated and overwhelmed and retreated further into a more conservative mindset (again, not really being conscious of that label at the time). My freshman year this guy named Bill Clinton was running for president. I remember my roommate and I going to watch his speech. Bill had laryngitis or something, and while he did give a short speech (as pictured below), Hillary talked more (prescient). I don't remember having strong feelings either way, but I know that I did not vote for him.<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JKuS0VItXW8/WB003YuVmJI/AAAAAAAAO9w/E98mOvGUle0uakL04SxqRE_WRb_-5WDPwCLcB/s1600/Bill_Clinton_at_Rackham_school_101992.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /><img alt="Credit to By Carptrash at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=50912559" border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JKuS0VItXW8/WB003YuVmJI/AAAAAAAAO9w/E98mOvGUle0uakL04SxqRE_WRb_-5WDPwCLcB/s400/Bill_Clinton_at_Rackham_school_101992.jpg" title="Credit to By Carptrash at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=50912559" width="550" /></a></div>
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Fast-forward seven years, and I was in the thick of the dot.com boom, traveling across the country and literally around the world (10 countries, 5 continents back to back) doing consumer research for an internet consulting gig. It was that project that took me back to New York, where I of course had to make my pilgrimage to Trump Tower. Yes, that is me bowing down to a poster of Donald Trump in 2000. I still loved him and considered him a role model.<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l7JVsH0r5YY/WBz4z2kxGHI/AAAAAAAAO9A/0MsXeQvwibMesnJQvZJmLR5w7LNKc5PCgCLcB/s1600/TrumpTowerPicBow.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="I will now choose to focus on how skinny my arms were. Sigh." border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l7JVsH0r5YY/WBz4z2kxGHI/AAAAAAAAO9A/0MsXeQvwibMesnJQvZJmLR5w7LNKc5PCgCLcB/s400/TrumpTowerPicBow.JPG" title="I will now choose to focus on how skinny my arms were. Sigh." width="550" /></a></div>
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Around this same time I applied to Harvard Business School and was accepted, just as the dot.com boom went bust. Getting an MBA was always part of my "life plan" because of Trump. But just now—as in, five minutes ago while writing this post and researching things to make sure I'm accurate—I learned that <a href="http://bigstory.ap.org/article/76a383d1b6e443a99831bf85a6d6cf3e/trump-and-wharton-complicated-relationship" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Trump does not actually have an MBA</a>?!?! My whole life is a LIE!!!!!<br />
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No, I kid. I will never regret my degrees, although I needed tens of thousands of dollars in student loans. (And despite this, I do not think college should be free. Sorry, Bernie bros.) But back to Trump: he was in the <i>undergraduate</i> business program at Wharton (similar to what I was in at Michigan) after transferring there as a junior from Fordham. He concentrated in real estate. I had always just assumed he had an MBA because that's what the Wharton school is best known for and he doesn't make it very clear when he brings it up (which is a lot). And so there's the first mention of what will soon become the overriding theme of this post: <i>I have made assumptions and been wrong about a hell of a lot of things in my life.</i><br />
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I graduated from business school, got married and moved back to Chicago in the last half of 2003. A few months later, a call came from my dad that I still remember to this day. "Have you heard of this show with Donald Trump in it? You <i>really</i> need to watch it."<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FInmXu6powA/WByl7GJc93I/AAAAAAAAO74/sDRMPpl8hgomWV3wdWSCgoKNwsv2Cr6dACLcB/s1600/TrumpAndCarolyn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="If we only knew then..." border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FInmXu6powA/WByl7GJc93I/AAAAAAAAO74/sDRMPpl8hgomWV3wdWSCgoKNwsv2Cr6dACLcB/s400/TrumpAndCarolyn.jpg" title="If we only knew then..." width="550" /></a></div>
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Ah yes, the first season of <i>The Apprentice </i>began in January 2004. I was looking for a reason to get together with some of my MBA classmates who were also in Chicago, and I'd found it. I began hosting weekly <i>Apprentice</i> viewings at my place. We had a blast. It was the perfect show for recent business-school graduates to geek out over. But when the first season ended, we were at a loss. Now what? Hmm, there was a show called <i>LOST</i> that was starting up in September. We kept our weekly get-togethers and switched to watching <i>LOST</i>... and <a href="http://www.longlivelocke.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I think you already know the rest of that story</a>.<br />
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That same year in October, Trump visited Chicago to break ground on what would become the Trump International Hotel and Tower, which Bill Rancic (winner of <i>The Apprentice</i> Season 1) was supposed to oversee. So of course I went. I got to see Donald in the flesh! I remember taking some awesome pictures of his hair flying in the wind, but I can't find them. This was before digital cameras or smart phones, people!<br />
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A few days after Trump's Chicago visit, my husband and I went as Donald and his ever-patient <i>Apprentice</i> associate Carolyn for Halloween. <br />
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My friends and I watched Season 2 of <i>The Apprentice </i>... and then I actually tried out for Season 3.<br />
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I stood in line for about 9 hours outside of the NBC building in Chicago—there I am with some of my linemates and Bill Rancic, who came to greet wannabe contestants. I brought the picture of me bowing down to the Trump poster along with my application. When we actually got into the tryout room, the question we had to debate as a small group was whether or not someone who's applying for a job should let the employer know if they're pregnant. It was clear they were looking for people who would say controversial things; those were the ones who moved on. I was not one of those people. (And of course now we all know that <a href="http://www.snopes.com/trump-pregnancy-inconvenient/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Trump has publicly said</a> that pregnancy is "wonderful... but an inconvenience for a business.") <br />
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I grew weary of <i>The Apprentice </i>after Season 3 and was done with it. I was initially interested in <i>The Celebrity Apprentice</i>, but never actually ended up watching it. I had other things keeping me busy by that time (around 2008).<br />
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<b>So now that you have all of that background, there are a few last things I want to mention</b> before I get into some very personal stories that explain why I now feel the way I do about certain topics that are relevant to this week's election.<br />
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<li>I get disturbed when I sense that people are treating politics like sports. Our elected officials WORK FOR US and are supposed to represent us to the rest of the nation and the world at large. This is not like, say, remaining a Cubs fan for decades out of some sort of loyalty and hope that they may one day win the World Series. (YESSSSSSSS.) If your party or candidate has drifted away from your stance on issues or has promoted someone up through the ranks that you don't think is qualified for the responsibility of their office, you shouldn't vote for them. End of story. Period. For that reason I do not understand party loyalty, and for that same reason I have actually voted for independent/third-party candidates in two past presidential elections. I voted for the person I thought would do the best job handling the issues I care about.</li>
<li>Which leads to the fact that no politician exists who has ever represented how I feel about ALL issues. So it comes down to prioritizing what I care about most, and keeping in mind what the president's role is (vs. members of Congress, the Senate, and other state and local representatives). </li>
<li><i>If there is one label I would be OK with for myself, it's "realist." </i>Reality is what I always try to come back to. What is actually happening, what is fact (versus ALL of the rumors and opinions out there), what I know to be true from my own experiences and the experiences of those I love, and what things are beyond the control of any of our politicians (such as the global economy, which affects our economy). </li>
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<b>WHERE I </b><b>NOW </b><b>STAND ON MY FORMER "HERO"</b></div>
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You can imagine the calls I got when Trump became the leading voice in the <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2016/09/26/hillary-clinton-donald-trump-debate/91132886/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">whole "birther" movement</a>. I truly could not believe his blatant racism, and man oh man did I hear it from a lot of people who knew how much I used to worship him. But make no mistake, from the very second he started loudly and publicly questioning where Obama was born, I was done with Trump. </div>
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What I can't figure out is why everyone else isn't.<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-omRJZjsY5CE/WBz48ucJJUI/AAAAAAAAO9E/77FBKoUgfmQZhncqtXJpWtAfLYqCDFdJgCLcB/s1600/MakeWesterosGreatAgain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Methinks Trump would fit in well in Westeros." border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-omRJZjsY5CE/WBz48ucJJUI/AAAAAAAAO9E/77FBKoUgfmQZhncqtXJpWtAfLYqCDFdJgCLcB/s320/MakeWesterosGreatAgain.jpg" title="Methinks Trump would fit in well in Westeros." width="311" /></a>As I mentioned in the section above, I don't align with any political party and I've voted for independent presidential candidates twice before. So I guess maybe in a way I kinda sorta understand why lifelong Republicans are struggling with what they see as a hard choice between "the lesser of two evils." But through the life experiences I've had that are intimately detailed below, I've met people who have faced <i>truly</i> hard choices. Maybe that's why, to me, I get frustrated when I hear people lamenting how difficult it is to cast their vote. For me, this election is about as easy as it could get, and infinitely easier for me than past elections.</div>
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<b>In the end, despite all of the things I share below that have shaped my life and matter deeply to me, it still comes down to this</b>: I have spent time in 40 countries across all 7 continents and therefore have no doubt that America, by comparison, is already great. Trump keeps saying that "he alone" can save us, which is about the scariest thing I could imagine, judging by how he's run so many of his ventures into the ground and cheated employees and business partners over the past several decades. (Not to mention the fact that he cannot string an intelligent sentence together on his own and acts like an angry teenager on Twitter. TWITTER. So embarrassing.) </div>
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I paused for two minutes when a conservative friend made the whole "Supreme Court argument," until I remembered that we had a conservative Court for decades already and, um, conservatives don't seem so happy about some of their rulings. (Everyone is aware that Roe vs. Wade, for example, went through because of 5 Republican and 2 Democrat-appointed judges and one of the only two dissenters was a Democrat-appointed justice, right? <a href="http://mennoworld.org/2016/10/26/the-world-together/a-conservative-supreme-court-wont-end-abortion/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This Christian journalist recaps it for us</a>.)</div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qtAyURc6iJI/WB0-LDSvVvI/AAAAAAAAO-A/-E1rY0xKnJog-TRVYbqcEFjrbGXzazinACLcB/s1600/boystown-chicago.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="My neighborhood" border="0" height="286" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qtAyURc6iJI/WB0-LDSvVvI/AAAAAAAAO-A/-E1rY0xKnJog-TRVYbqcEFjrbGXzazinACLcB/s400/boystown-chicago.jpg" title="My neighborhood" width="400" /></a>I am optimistic about the future of this country because I personally know insanely smart people doing amazing things across all major industries. They're not the kind of stories that are covered on cable news shows, though, unfortunately. </div>
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I have lived in one of the most diverse neighborhoods in the country for 20 years and would never for a second support someone who has offended and clearly thinks less of pretty much every single person I know and love, including my friends of all different ethnicities, my LGBT friends, my friends in the military, and the disabled. Oh, and all women (except those he's related to).</div>
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On Trump's sexism, I think focusing on accusations and pending lawsuits isn't the way to go. Both the Clinton and Trump camps are very hypocritical when it comes to the respective allegations against them. Instead I choose to judge him by <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/politics/donald-trump-sexism-tracker-every-offensive-comment-in-one-place/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">what he has publicly said about women for the past four decades</a>.</div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UpXVmb4Msw8/WBz5ADorEWI/AAAAAAAAO9Q/5XPx2VWXjIw_uXkeZ3v-pJaz51zb88cKACLcB/s1600/AdvilVote.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="These two things are related." border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UpXVmb4Msw8/WBz5ADorEWI/AAAAAAAAO9Q/5XPx2VWXjIw_uXkeZ3v-pJaz51zb88cKACLcB/s320/AdvilVote.JPG" title="These two things are related." width="240" /></a>I have business degrees from two of the best schools in the world (Michigan and Harvard) and understand now that Trump is an awful and unethical businessman who is undoubtedly worth nowhere near what he claims to be, or else he would release his tax records like every other presidential candidate in the past. His tax records would also show any business partners he has (something else he seems to want to hide) and how charitable he is NOT. The fact that no one seems to be pressing him about his taxes is proof that his brilliant strategy of carpet-bombing us all with insane antic after insane antic has worked. There's so much crazy surrounding him that it's overwhelming; focusing on any one thing he's said or done seems insignificant against the sheer number of warning signs that he's not fit to be president.</div>
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I also keep thinking about how my son is four, and in Pre-K he's being taught to respect others, listen to others, admit when he's wrong and say sorry, explore the joy of reading and learning new things, and celebrate the diversity of his class—boys and girls of all ethnicities and religions who consider themselves a family. My heart hurts when I think about what we'd be saying to not only kids, but also ourselves, if we elect someone to the highest position in the land who embodies the polar opposite of all of those lessons.</div>
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It feels good to get all of this out.<br />
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Here's my message to Trump now:</div>
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Thanks for reading.<br />
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- e<br />
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* We know now that Trump did not actually write <i>The Art of the Deal</i>. His ghostwriter, Tony Schwartz, recently gave an extraordinarily enlightening interview about what he observed during the 18 months he spent by Trump's side in order to write the book. <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/07/25/donald-trumps-ghostwriter-tells-all" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">You should read it</a>.</div>
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What, you want more? Happy to oblige.</div>
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<b>THE EXTENDED VERSION: BABIES, GUNS AND POOP.</b></div>
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In the following sections I will tell you about a few other things I was drastically wrong about and am not proud of, because why stop now? They're all related to the election and Trump.<br />
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<b>BABIES (This one's the longest because I am the most fired up about it.)</b><br />
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My husband and I tried everything under the sun to have a child between 2007 and 2011, when I became pregnant with Desmond using IVF and an anonymous donor's egg. From 2013 to mid-2015 we went through more rounds of IVF unsuccessfully and then began the adoption process to finally bring our Summer home.<br />
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During that entire time—7.5 years in total—I was very open about our struggles, and as a result heard heartbreaking stories from countless other women and men who had endured similar situations.<br />
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I had multiple miscarriages both before and after we saw a heartbeat. Because I was so high-risk, each time I did get pregnant my doctor would perform an ultrasound every single week, sometimes twice within a week. (For comparison: during a normal pregnancy, women get two to three ultrasounds TOTAL over 40 weeks.) When you try that desperately and that long to have a child, it is hard to imagine how someone who's pregnant could <i>not</i> want a baby.<br />
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I made many judgments and had many ideas stuck in my head about women who have gotten abortions. But after being schooled on every angle of reproductive rights and procedures and adoption and abortion, I now realize how ignorant my earlier biases were. Some people assume that because I've adopted that I MUST be pro-life. But what I know now is that term is just pure marketing fluff (coming from someone with two degrees in marketing). It is a fallacy. The pro-life/pro-choice debate is one of the most unfortunate and misguided battles of all time.<br />
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What SHOULD it mean to be "pro-life"? I was all worked up to write about this... and then I saw that someone already did. Someone who's not very similar to me, background-wise—hard-core Christian, masters degree in Special Education with a specialty in Autism and Learning Disabilities, six kids (four adopted and of different races)—somehow still encapsulated all of the things I wanted to say in <a href="http://www.shannondingle.com/blog//im-pro-life-and-im-voting-for-hillary-heres-why" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this (long but incredibly thorough and inspiring) post</a>. This woman has done her homework.<br />
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There are two things I'll add from my own experience:<br />
1) After about thirty hours of adoption training and two years of meeting directly with adoption counselors and adoption lawmakers who've seen everything, I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about a whole other world right here in America that I never knew existed. A world where people are born into abuse, rape, neglect, addiction, hopelessness, and a cruel cycle of poverty. The multiple birth mothers (and birth fathers) we met during our adoption process had absolutely tragic life stories. I know now that the reality is if some women are pregnant they'll be beaten, or lose their low-paying manual-labor jobs that their families depend on, or be kicked out of their house and become homeless. They will become desperate.<br />
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2) I have two different lifelong friends and four other acquaintances who had to end very much wanted pregnancies after 20 weeks because their babies had developmental problems that would have caused them to die either in the womb or right after birth. Their gut-wrenching, life-changing and utterly heartbreaking stories are not my stories to tell. But their experiences <i>are</i> one of the main reasons I decided to write this post overall. After the third presidential debate, I witnessed several discussions on Facebook related to Trump's totally false claim about babies being "ripped out of the womb" at nine months. (Which, I hope you know, doesn't happen in the United States. Ever. This is one of hundreds of things Trump just made up and says for shock value.)<br />
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The people I saw posting on Facebook about "who in the world would get an abortion after 20 weeks?" are people I know and they're good people. But because of what my friends went through with their pregnancy losses, I truly wanted to jump through my laptop screen and choke those commenters. About 10 seconds later, I did a 180 and felt a really weird sense of happiness. And it's because I realized that if they had no clue about why someone would end a pregnancy after 20 weeks, it meant that they themselves nor anyone they're close to has ever had to experience that awful situation. <br />
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My goal here is not to educate anyone (but if you'd like to learn a little more, I love and recommend <a href="http://www.vox.com/first-person/2016/10/21/13352872/donald-trump-abortion-wrong" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Dr. Jen Gunter's work</a>) but rather challenge people to consider that they may not know everything. Just like I didn't. Hardly anyone (as in, .3% of all abortions) ends a pregnancy after 20 weeks because they no longer want the baby. Something has gone drastically wrong.<br />
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My own experiences and the experiences of my friends made me certain of one thing: no politician should be determining what a woman does with her body. Nothing enrages me more than hearing another story about some old ignorant dude trying to pass laws that hurt women's reproductive rights, especially when it seems like the majority of these politicians can't even answer basic questions about women's menstrual cycles, conception, how birth control works or pregnancy.<br />
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<b>Which brings me to Mike Pence,</b> who in many ways scares me even more than Trump. However, if you haven't done your research on him, this might surprise you. He comes off well in speeches and seems sane and mild-mannered. But if he had his way, I honestly don't think either of my children would exist. Plus, you know, there's the fact that he's gone on record to state that <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/smoking-doesnt-kill-and-other-great-old-op-eds-from-mike-pen?utm_term=.biPYQ65yP#.tbkepEB52" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">smoking does not kill people</a> (please tell that to my two grandparents who died of lung cancer and emphysema), does not believe in climate change (please explain that to the researchers I spent time with in Antarctica), and infamously signed and defended Indiana's LGBT discrimination law under the guise of religious freedom. I mean seriously, <i>this guy is the worst</i>. And Trump picked him precisely for that reason—he wanted the most extreme running mate possible to play to his base.<br />
<br />
So what did I mean about neither of my kids existing if Pence had his way?<br />
<br />
With Desmond, I'm talking about Pence co-sponsoring the Personhood bill (H.R. 374, "Life at Conception Act"), which would give a microscopic fertilized egg full protection as a human being. Such a law would signal <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/don-c-reed/personhood-pence-vp-candi_b_12281720.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the beginning of the end of reproductive rights</a>. Fertility procedures such as IVF would likely be banned. Our Desmond (and 5 million other IVF babies around the world, many of whom I'm sure you know) would not be here. (It didn't pass.)<br />
<br />
With Summer, I'm talking about Pence's relentless crusade to defund Planned Parenthood because 3% of its offerings cover reproductive services, including abortion. Pence didn't care about the other 97%. I urge you to <a href="http://www.chicagotribune.com/suburbs/post-tribune/opinion/ct-ptb-rutter-on-scott-county-st-0607-20150606-story.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">read this <i>Chicago Tribune</i> article about what has since happened in Indiana thanks to Pence</a>. I saw this tragedy with my own eyes last year (we adopted Summer from Indiana). If Pence had succeeded in defunding Planned Parenthood when he originally wanted to, I don't think Summer would be here because I don't think her birth mother would've been alive to have had her.<br />
<br />
<br />
I wish no one ever had to have an abortion. I wish all children who are born would be loved and cared for and given what they need to reach their full potential. But right now that is not reality.<br />
<br />
It is very, very easy for some people to throw Bible verses around when it comes to heated and emotional issues like this. But if you truly consider yourself <a href="http://www.shannondingle.com/blog//im-pro-life-and-im-voting-for-hillary-heres-why" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">pro-life in this way</a> (same link as earlier) and you want to actually do something to help, donate time or money to organizations that assist low-income women. Financial instability is a top reason for both abortion and placing a child for adoption.<br />
<br />
Or you could look into adopting, fostering or mentoring one of the <a href="http://www.childrensrights.org/newsroom/fact-sheets/foster-care/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">415,000+ foster children</a> currently awaiting placement in the United States.<br />
<br />
One last word for anyone reading this who considers him or herself to be religious and has seen posts about how all of Trump's horrible, completely un-Christian behavior should be overlooked because the Supreme Court is at stake and there's a chance to overturn Roe vs. Wade: as I mentioned waaaay back near the beginning of this post, you do know that the Supreme Court justices that decided Roe vs. Wade in the first place were conservative, right? <a href="http://mennoworld.org/2016/10/26/the-world-together/a-conservative-supreme-court-wont-end-abortion/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This Christian journalist recaps it for us</a>. <br />
<br />
P.S. I can't believe it is 2016 and this is still a major campaign issue. Smaller government could start with getting out of people's bedrooms and doctor's offices.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<b>GUNS</b><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8wriipabdt0/WB-RMYEtLLI/AAAAAAAAO-s/2XX5-FC3aDwhN1LpNflXsjsMKpnehJyBgCLcB/s1600/juice%2Bbox.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Felt like a picture was needed to lighten the mood!" border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8wriipabdt0/WB-RMYEtLLI/AAAAAAAAO-s/2XX5-FC3aDwhN1LpNflXsjsMKpnehJyBgCLcB/s320/juice%2Bbox.png" title="Felt like a picture was needed to lighten the mood!" width="284" /></a></div>
I have a bad habit of reading over people's shoulders when I'm taking public transportation. One time I did this and caught snippets of some really graphic medical-procedure description a doctor was reading and I started feeling woozy, had to run off of the Boston T and then promptly passed out on the disgusting ground of the station platform. (A woman and her young son heading to school stayed with me until I came to and then gave me his juice box.)<br />
<br />
A similar scenario came close to unfolding another time. I was on the bus in Chicago and was reading a magazine article over someone's shoulder. It was about how parents of shooting victims had to identify their kids' remains by dental records. I ran off the bus and put my head between my knees and felt sick the rest of the night. The image that was conjured up in my head by that article still haunts me.<br />
<br />
That happened in 1999. It was a cover story about the Columbine shooting.<br />
<br />
Right after that tragedy, I took my work trip to 10 countries around the world for the consulting project that I mentioned earlier. I was asked the exact same question by clients at every stop: "Why do Americans love guns so much?"<br />
<br />
It is 16.5 years later and I still don't know the answer, and things have of course only gotten far worse. In 1996, 16 children were killed by a gunman in Scotland. <i>The very next year</i> the UK enacted drastically tougher gun laws. A few weeks after the Scotland massacre, a gunman killed 35 people and wounded 24 in Australia. TWELVE DAYS LATER the Australian government passed the National Firearms Agreement to tighten gun laws.<br />
<br />
Twelve.<br />
<br />
<i>Days.</i><br />
<br />
Let that sink in. As a nation who claims to care about its children and "family values" and all of that, we are totally pathetic on the gun violence front.<br />
<br />
I was terrified of gun violence before I had kids. I became nearly paralyzed by fear after Sandy Hook, which happened when my son was 11 months old. One week when he was 3, his pre-k teacher sent her usual e-newsletter and I nearly vomited after reading that "the kiddies did a great job crawling on their bellies" during a lockdown drill. WHAT? At work, my husband was trained on what to do during an active shooter situation. Did your school prepare you for active gunmen scenarios when you were growing up? Did any of your employers offer training like this more than, say, ten years ago?<br />
<br />
We as a country have totally failed when it comes to gun safety and gun violence. It is a disgrace. And let me be clear: I am from a state where hunting is a big thing, many of my relatives hunt and have guns, and some of the country's biggest employers in my home state gave people the first day of hunting season off work as a holiday. (<a href="http://www.detroitnews.com/story/business/autos/chrysler/2015/10/28/uaw-veterans/74719050/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This is true</a>.) I'm not against guns, but I am certainly not for keeping the status quo.<br />
<br />
Neither was Trump, at one point. In his 2000 book "The America We Deserve" (the one in the poster I was bowing to), he criticizes Republicans who "walk the NRA line and are against even limited restrictions." He wants to ban assault weapons and increase gun-purchase waiting times. You can read it yourself <a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=PV6qZU_xev8C&printsec=frontcover&dq=walk+the+NRA+line&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi0iaf_vJLQAhUo0oMKHQrYAjwQ6AEIHTAA#v=onepage&q=NRA&f=false" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
<br />
But then despite all of his big talk about being an outsider who can shake things up and someone who's just going to do what he wants and not be beholden to anyone or any organization, Trump joins forces with the NRA—one of the biggest and most powerful lobbying groups in the country—which has since endorsed him, given his campaign millions of dollars and is running ridiculous (and, again, totally untruthful) ads on his behalf across the nation talking about Hillary wanting to take everyone's guns away and leave people defenseless.<br />
<br />
That is the textbook definition of a flip-flopper, a hypocrite, and a sell-out. And let's remember that the exact same claims were made about Obama "taking guns away." Yet here we are eight years later with even more guns floating around, <a href="http://www.bradycampaign.org/gun-violence" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">a quarter of a million more people dead</a> and hundreds of thousands more injured, and not bit of national progress on gun safety.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T17hQqz2IMQ/WB-RLh6GRQI/AAAAAAAAO-o/i7d8PxJVKN0zCZSh_nq_QhZT7kjsM3B3QCLcB/s1600/bradycenter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="This team rocks." border="0" height="155" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-T17hQqz2IMQ/WB-RLh6GRQI/AAAAAAAAO-o/i7d8PxJVKN0zCZSh_nq_QhZT7kjsM3B3QCLcB/s320/bradycenter.jpg" title="This team rocks." width="320" /></a>Shortly after Sandy Hook I went to my first meeting with a local chapter of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, founded by President Reagan's White House Press Secretary and Assistant to the President (Jim Brady) and his wife Sarah (now both deceased). I was shocked to find that several people there were gun owners. But they were there for the same reasons I was: they were sick of nothing being done. They were not threatened by the group's efforts to expand background checks or close gun-show loopholes or target the small number of gun dealers who supply the majority of guns used in crimes. They were like, "Yeah, duh." They were looking for advice on how to talk to fellow gun owners and separate fact from all of the rumors out there about politicians wanting to "take away" their guns (which no one has actually ever said, ever). They were not fans of the NRA. But incredibly, the NRA was not even brought up by anyone at Brady. That's not their focus.<br />
<br />
I won't go on and on about this organization because you can read more about it yourself <a href="http://www.bradycampaign.org/about-brady" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. What I will say is that I have met and talked with all of its leadership team and have been thoroughly impressed. They have very clear, realistic goals and are succeeding in making positive changes, even if you don't hear about their efforts on the news.<br />
<br />
So after all of these horrible mass shootings that have taken place in just about every public place you can imagine (malls, schools, churches, movie theaters), after personally meeting the wife and sister of a policeman shot and killed in the line of duty, after learning about a friend's ex-co-worker who was shot and killed by a stalker, after knowing those who've lost siblings and children to gun suicides, and after consoling a close friend over the loss of her former co-worker and friend, a beautiful woman, who—along with her two-year-old son and six-year-old daughter—was shot and killed earlier this year by her husband after he went on pro-gun, anti-Obama, anti-Planned Parenthood, anti-ISIS and anti-immigration rants online, I have had enough.<br />
<br />
If Trump actually did what he said Republicans should do in his 2000 book and stood up to the NRA, I might've had a little bit of respect for him. But once again, he's just all talk.</div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<b>BEWARE YOUR SOURCES (OR, THAT TIME I SENT POOP IN THE MAIL)</b>
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0z7jYjSprdU/WB-OHinQL_I/AAAAAAAAO-Y/GxY1MTZTQL407g-IgpYLWwMjyAZDEHkgQCLcB/s1600/poop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0z7jYjSprdU/WB-OHinQL_I/AAAAAAAAO-Y/GxY1MTZTQL407g-IgpYLWwMjyAZDEHkgQCLcB/s320/poop.jpg" width="320" /></a>Admit it: you didn't read any of my heartfelt missive above and skipped straight here to the poop section, didn't you?<br />
<br />
That's fine. I get it. I won't disappoint.<br />
<br />
I am sharing this story with you to prove how easy it is for well-meaning and intelligent people to fall down the rabbit hole that is Information On The Internet.<br />
<br />
Several years back I had a health scare. I looked up information about it on the internet. I found tons of articles about a screening procedure that would predict if you were going to get this possibly deadly diagnosis that I was convinced I had. I found even more articles about changes you could make to your diet and supplements you could take that would help you reverse what was happening in your body to cause this condition.<br />
<br />
And so I spent over $600 on that screening test and probably $1000 more on getting my entire DNA report downloaded and meeting with a dietician who helped me interpret it and suggested a phased plan of how I should change my eating habits and what vitamins I should be taking.<br />
<br />
I did all of it. I completely changed my diet and was miserable. I peed on a stick multiple times per day to check certain levels in my urine. I bought hundreds of dollars in supplements. I paid for a critical $400 test she recommended that would analyze my bowel movements and tell me what else might be wrong with me and what I could do about it.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aTEQH2lGXxI/WB-N__BWI9I/AAAAAAAAO-U/9NLqAYxVuVcHrzKFYfe67H1Dh-6wjtOcACLcB/s1600/fry%2Bcontainer.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="I pooped in this." border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aTEQH2lGXxI/WB-N__BWI9I/AAAAAAAAO-U/9NLqAYxVuVcHrzKFYfe67H1Dh-6wjtOcACLcB/s320/fry%2Bcontainer.jpeg" title="I pooped in this." width="320" /></a>So yes. YES. I pooped into what looked like a french fry container, sealed it up as instructed, and sent it off to a lab across the country.<br />
<br />
The next day, the results came in from my other screening test, and they were bad. I was developing the condition but it probably wouldn't show up on any "western medicine" tests or scans for decades. I FREAKED OUT. I called my doctor within minutes of opening the test results. I got in to see her right away. She had never heard of what I was talking about but her good friend from med school was a specialist in my area of concern. She got me an appointment with her a few days later.<br />
<br />
Then I saw the specialist. She tried to explain why the screening test I did was not something she could consider valid or even worth looking at. How no clinical trials had been done on it; it wasn't proven. She tried to console me by telling me her own story of listening to an informercial on a rare condition while driving to work and then becoming convinced she had it.<br />
<br />
I pleaded with her that I was an educated person and had done my research. I dissolved into a sobbing mess. They had a counselor come take me to another room and try to talk me down. I was ashamed; I was in a place where people were getting really, really bad news. And here I was taking up this counselor's time about something a leading specialist wouldn't even acknowledge. But I didn't feel any better.<br />
<br />
The turning point came after I had driven myself and my husband crazy after another week or so of digging around on the internet. I still hadn't heard from the place I sent the poo into. I dug out my copy of the shipping label and typed the name of the lab into Google.<br />
<br />
The lab had recently been raided by the DEA for growing pot.<br />
<br />
I showed the article to my husband. He said, "I can just imagine a bunch of stoners sitting around when your sample came in and saying, 'Duuuudddeeeee, yesssss..... we got some more poop!'"<br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8LdH1WAoTIA/WBzM3D6gLSI/AAAAAAAAO8g/cjgw7rOiH68Rtp46p0kf8MCSIaWaRWB1gCLcB/s1600/SomeoneIsWrongOnTheInternet.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="I'm not spending any more of my life doing this." border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8LdH1WAoTIA/WBzM3D6gLSI/AAAAAAAAO8g/cjgw7rOiH68Rtp46p0kf8MCSIaWaRWB1gCLcB/s320/SomeoneIsWrongOnTheInternet.png" title="I'm not spending any more of my life doing this." width="290" /></a>It was the first time I'd cracked a smile in a month. He was right. They probably used my sample as fertilizer for their weed.<br />
<br />
Then I found message boards with people complaining about the lab and how they'd been scammed into the tests and the supplements and the procedures. There were some heartbreaking stories on there from parents who had bought into it because their kids were sick. They'd gone bankrupt thinking that these "specialists" and labs and supplements would give them the hope that legitimate, trained, actual REAL doctors couldn't.<br />
<br />
And then I came across <a href="https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Dr. Jen Gunter's blog</a> (I mentioned Gunter in the Babies section because of her articles attempting to dispel inaccuracies about late-term abortions). She's an OB in Canada, writes about a whole host of women's health issues, and is very active on Twitter. She had a post from years ago about the very screening procedure I'd done, and she explained why it was bogus. (Oh, and the place I had the screening procedure done closed up shop two months later.)<br />
<br />
I was equal parts enraged at myself, ashamed and relieved. I was always the FIRST person to tell people not to put any faith in forwarded emails (remember when that was a thing?) and not to believe what they read online. I did not take my own advice, and I learned an embarrassing lesson.<br />
<br />
And that's why I'm especially horrified by how many U.S. citizens seem to be both seeking out and basing their votes on completely made up information they find online or the opinions of political pundits and others that have a clear agenda. I know what it feels like to believe what you are reading is factual, especially when it's something you already think is true.<br />
<br />
How can you know what's real?<br />
<ul>
<li>If you see it going around on Facebook, Twitter or another social media platform, it's probably fake. I almost included a Trump quote in this post that's been circulating heavily until I checked Snopes.com and found it wasn't something he ever said. <a href="http://www.snopes.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Snopes</a> and <a href="http://www.politifact.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Politifact</a> are my go-to sites when it comes to separating fact, rumor and fiction.</li>
<li>If you're primarily getting your information from cable news, you might want to take a breather. Stations like Fox News, MSNBC and CNN have notorious and obvious biases and it's easy to confuse pundits and "talking heads" with actual news anchors. Opinions are not facts.</li>
<li>If a site you're reading has charged political words or terms in its URL... that should be a clue.</li>
<li>If an article you're reading has no author, has information that you haven't heard anywhere else and is littered with ads, it's almost definitely NOT a trustworthy source.</li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cWB3Py5jFAM/WBymHIUMoUI/AAAAAAAAO8E/5YIEHnE0kwcjzkbeiSqezHZZmacQJaNNACEw/s1600/quote-all-opinions-are-not-equal-some-are-a-very-great-deal-more-robust-sophisticated-and-well-douglas-adams-205395.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="This." border="0" height="154" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cWB3Py5jFAM/WBymHIUMoUI/AAAAAAAAO8E/5YIEHnE0kwcjzkbeiSqezHZZmacQJaNNACEw/s400/quote-all-opinions-are-not-equal-some-are-a-very-great-deal-more-robust-sophisticated-and-well-douglas-adams-205395.jpg" title="This." width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
My firstborn's middle name is in honor of a (fictional) conspiracy theorist, so I understand the allure of rumors and speculation and going against the mainstream. If you just want to validate things you already think, well, I guess no one can stop you. But if you actually want to make informed decisions and not come off like a loon, take special care with what you believe (and what you post or pass on to others). And whatever you do, NEVER send your own poop through the mail!<br />
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<br />
<b>AFTER TUESDAY</b></div>
<br />
Half of the country is going to be disappointed after this election. I hope people are respectful to each other. I personally plan to take a break from social media.<br />
<br />
What I'll be doing instead is performing random acts of kindness all day Tuesday and Wednesday. Yes, it's cheesy, but who cares. It'll be needed.<br />
<br />
Happy voting!<br />
<br />
- e<br />
<br />
<br />
(I welcome polite and respectful comments. But I will be reviewing all of them first. I am going to be slammed with work all week so if I do not publish your comment or respond to it, rest assured that I'm not ignoring it. Please be patient.)<br />
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Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-77077383129824527342016-07-22T08:00:00.000-05:002016-07-29T12:34:46.773-05:00Equals<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JiDkvYw7bsU/V5uGfUZ_YlI/AAAAAAAAO30/wFXrViE2mQ8s1Kb1uigS8lDhakcDZXrfwCLcB/s1600/equals%2Bposter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="I hate it when a movie's title makes no sense, like this one." border="0" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JiDkvYw7bsU/V5uGfUZ_YlI/AAAAAAAAO30/wFXrViE2mQ8s1Kb1uigS8lDhakcDZXrfwCLcB/s400/equals%2Bposter.jpg" title="I hate it when a movie's title makes no sense, like this one." width="268" /></a></div>
I saw <i>Equals</i> shortly after my best friend's family—and by extension my family—had suffered a horrible loss. So I think I was more affected by its message than I would've been otherwise. Director Drake Doremus (<i>Like Crazy</i>) retreads very, very familiar territory (think <i>The Giver</i> mixed with <i>Romeo & Juliet</i>) and doesn't have anything new to add to the conversation, and on top of that, the film's cop-out ending made me groan. But since <i>Equals</i>' story centers around the question of whether it's better to experience the highs and lows (but especially the lows) that come with being human versus feeling nothing at all, and since I would've done anything to stop my friend from feeling the pain she was going through at that time, I was captivated for 101 minutes, if nothing else.<br />
<br />
Silas (Nicholas Hoult) and Nia (Kristen Stewart) are part of "The Collective," our future society where human DNA has been manipulated in order to prevent emotions. Most of the population has been wiped out thanks to a world war, although there's talk of a group of people who live outside of The Collective and still have feelings. Silas, Nia and their robot-like counterparts at work are able to have discussions and whatnot, but their lives are pretty darn boring.<br />
<br />
Then one day Nicholas realizes that he's starting to have dreams and feel slivers of emotions—and he has reason to suspect Nia is as well. Oh no! This means they are both "infected" with Switched On Sydrome (SOS—<i>GET IT?!?</i>) and are going to be thrown in "the den" to be experimented on and will never be seen again.<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KQ5aJLdqEdg/V5uSnwm3VeI/AAAAAAAAO4E/AEBoeNrcPZciVgRGdnzfnNjzKOlWjEBpQCLcB/s1600/Equals%2BImage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Let's just stare at each other... FOREVER" border="0" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KQ5aJLdqEdg/V5uSnwm3VeI/AAAAAAAAO4E/AEBoeNrcPZciVgRGdnzfnNjzKOlWjEBpQCLcB/s400/Equals%2BImage.jpg" title="Let's just stare at each other... FOREVER" width="400" /></a></div>
It's obvious that despite the imminent danger they'd be in if they start acting on their emotions, Silas and Nia will soon fall for each other anyway and then have to work increasingly hard to keep their forbidden relationship a secret. This whole "star-crossed lovers" thing inspired cinematographer John Guleserian to give us lots and lots and LOTS of longing looks and glances and dreamy closeups of faces and lips and hands touching. (These are things Stewart is really good at from her <i>Twilight</i> experience, though, and I'm not even joking.) However, no matter how earnest the leads are in their roles, the extreme multitude of the aforementioned shots—combined with the sometimes-overbearing emo score from Sascha Ring and Dustin O'Halloran—make the film come off as more than a little ridiculous.<br />
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The only breath of fresh air arrives in the form of a few scenes with other "infecteds," played by Guy Pearce and Jacki Weaver, among others. The pace picks up a bit when they hatch a plan to help Silas and Nia escape The Collective. But it's not enough to save the film overall.<br />
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We all already know that as much as it hurts to experience loss, sadness and pain, having the full spectrum of human emotions is still worth it. It's a shame Doremus couldn't find anything else to say besides the obvious in <i>Equals</i>.<br />
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Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-73062658201190606402016-07-09T15:48:00.000-05:002016-07-09T16:10:49.116-05:00The Secret Life of Pets<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ugh.<br />
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I had such high hopes for <i>The Secret Life of Pets</i> (despite the fact that the grammar nerd in me instantly hated that it wasn't called <i>The Secret Lives of Pets</i>).<br />
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As the owner of a black lab who freaks out every time I leave and return, I have often wondered what he does when I'm gone, and this film from directors Chris Renaud and Yarrow Cheney promised me some entertaining answers. Its trailers—filled with head-banging poodles and toilet-water-chugging bulldogs—showed promise. And to be fair, the opening act and the final scene of the movie were funny, clever and moving. If you're a pet owner or animal lover, you WILL well up at the end.<br />
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The problem is that almost everything in the middle was cringe-worthy or otherwise disappointing, and had absolutely nothing to do with what pets get up to behind closed doors.<br />
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The plot is basically <i>Toy Story, </i>except with animals. The main character Max (Lewis C.K.) is horrified and hurt when his owner Katie (Ellie Kemper) brings home Duke (Eric Stonestreet) from the NYC pound. Max does everything he can to get Duke out of the picture, and then when his plan finally succeeds but puts both of them in danger, the two rivals have to band together to get back home safely. In the meantime, a ragtag group of other pets, led by the fluffy Pomeranian Gidget (Jenny Slate), venture out into Manhattan to rescue their friends. (All of this is set to a surprisingly great soundtrack, by the way.)<br />
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I was enjoying everything until Max and Duke get lost in New York and run afoul of "the flushed pets"—a group of abandoned animals that live in the sewer. Led by the bent-on-revenge bunny Snowball (Kevin Hart, a great choice), these forgotten pets have one goal: to kill humans. You read that right. When Fluffy and his crew first meet Max and Duke, the two domesticated dogs lie and say that they offed their owner, and Fluffy wants details. He demands to know exactly HOW the dogs killed their owner. And then he vows to kill Max and Duke after they escape from the sewer. I could not believe what I was hearing. This is supposed to be a movie for kids! (It reminded me of why I despised <i>Cars 2 </i>so much—all the talk about shooting and killing.) How hard would it have been for writers Brian Lynch, Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio to have had the animals speak in more vague terms about the flushed pets wanting revenge? (Or to have just thought of another way for the story to go entirely.) <br />
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And don't think for a second that they were trying to make some bigger point about how animals aren't objects to be tossed out after the responsibility of having a pet gets old. They were doing no such thing. This film is not that deep.<br />
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So after Fluffy enters the picture, the story is no longer about what pets do when humans aren't around. The animals are chasing each other all over the city and none of it has anything to do with the original premise. During this disappointing middle section of the film, there were a few points where the directing and writing team <i>could've </i>at least paused the action for a moment and taken the opportunity to pull on our heartstrings a little. A scene where Duke visits his old home is a prime example. We learn something about Duke's old owner and then... nothing. We're left hanging. No closure. What were they thinking?!?<br />
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In addition to all of the talk about killing and death, one character does actually meet a violent end, Gidget beats up another animal, Max and Duke nearly die a few times over, and in general there's just a very icky undertone to most of the film. It's like a totally different team made <i>The Secret Life of Pets</i>' thoroughly enjoyable start and finish.<br />
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I will not be taking my 4.5 year old to see this one. Not because I think he would be scared by it or disturbed by it or even understand the parts I'm upset about. But rather because there are enough GOOD kids' movies out there that there's no reason to give money to one that took the lazy, easy way out.Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-23734076139452455772016-06-19T10:59:00.003-05:002016-06-19T12:10:32.721-05:00Finding Dory<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My life was so incredibly different in 2003 when <i>Finding Nemo </i>came out. (Everyone's was, right? It was THIRTEEN YEARS ago!!!) I got married a month after its debut, and having kids was the furthest thing from my mind. But, as with all Pixar movies (and, IMHO, most animated Disney movies in general), you didn't need to be a parent to enjoy or be moved by the film about a dad clownfish swimming across the ocean in search of his lost son. (And, as longtime readers of this blog know, not having any kids didn't stop me from <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2008/04/future-looks-like-past-at-epcot.html" target="_blank">going to EPCOT (by myself) solely to experience the <i>Nemo</i> ride</a>. Or going to Disney World/Land several times since, by myself. But I digress.)<br />
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I mention all of this because I didn't think it would ever be possible for me to love films like <i>Finding Nemo, Toy Story</i> or <i>Cars</i> more than I already did. I was wrong. Once my four-and-a-half-year-old son got into these movies, a whole new dimension came into play. One of ownership, one of feeling personally vested (both emotionally and financially because of ALL THE TOYS), one of protectiveness as he came to cherish the characters as much as I did, and one of feeling truly petrified that something could one day ruin these franchises. (DAMN YOU, <i>CARS 2</i>!!!) When we took our son to Disneyland this year and last year and got a huge kick out of the "Turtle Talk with Crush" attraction (seriously, it's the best) and the <i>Finding Nemo</i> submarine ride, the stakes grew that much higher. <i>Finding Dory </i>HAD to be good. It just had to be.<br />
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And it is! Praise Poseidon! (Or King Triton, perhaps?)<br />
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Yes, it is like <i><a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2015/12/star-wars-force-awakens-spoiler-free.html" target="_blank">The Force Awakens</a></i> in the sense that the plot is almost completely recycled. You know what I say to that? WHO CARES. I don't see these movies for the plot, I see them for the gorgeous animation and for the clever adult humor sprinkled in alongside more obvious jokes for the kiddies. I see them because I know there will be a positive moral to the story (<i>Dory</i> is actually superior to <i>Nemo</i> here). I see them because I know I will feel the warm fuzzies at the end. And because I don't recall a time in my forty-plus years where feeling the warm fuzzies was ever a bad thing.<br />
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So, yep, Dory (Ellen DeGeneres), the short-term-memory-impaired regal tang, gets lost in a few different ways. Most revolve around a search for her family, who she starts remembering bits and pieces about via flashbacks. Marlin (Albert Brooks) and Nemo (Illinois native Hayden Rolence, represent!) are back, as are a couple of other beloved characters like Squirt and Crush—though I wish those two had been in it much more, thanks to my reignited love of Crush after seeing his Disneyland show.<br />
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There's memorable marine-life humor (yes, that's a thing)—much like we learned how seagulls are actually shouting "Mine!" in <i>Nemo</i>, we find out why sea lions make their barking noises in <i>Dory</i>. You'll squirm through a sequence involving an aquarium's "touch pool." You'll sniffle at the opening montage and additional flashbacks featuring tiny bug-eyed Dory.<br />
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And while there are other new characters who are cute and make their own mark on the film, you'll likely be most impressed by Hank (Ed O'Neill, a perfect choice), a cranky red octopus (minus one tentacle) who can camouflage himself and begrudgingly agrees to help Dory because there's something in it for him. The scenes where he changes colors are amazing. And overall he's just hilarious. I don't think young kids will really "get" him as much as adults will, though. Nevertheless, he's the film's standout character.<br />
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Speaking of young kids, parents should know that there is one scene that's a little intense (spoiler alert for the rest of this paragraph): Nemo, Marlin and Dory are chased by a pretty scary squid, and at one point the squid comes close to eating Nemo. They of course get away, so you could always just TELL your kids this before they see the movie so they're not worried. That's what I did, and my son is at the film with his dad for a Father's Day treat as I type this.<br />
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Two non-spoilery highlights involve Sigourney Weaver and a slo-mo scene set to Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World," which was so crazy I can't believe the team (co-director/co-writer extraordinaire Andrew Stanton (who also voices Crush (!), co-director Angus MacLane and co-writer Victoria Strouse) not only thought of it in the first place, but then also pulled it off so magnificently.<br />
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So in summary: PHEW. No one's affection for or memories of <i>Finding Nemo</i> are going to be destroyed by this sequel. It was great to check in on the old gang again, and even better to meet some new insta-classic characters. Now can <i><a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/cars-3-concept-art/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Cars 3</a></i> PLEASE not be horrible... ?<br />
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(p.s. Make sure you stay through ALL of the credits.)Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-34558737543389014902016-06-03T15:58:00.003-05:002016-06-03T16:28:30.224-05:00Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have a framed still from <i>This is</i> <i>Spinal Tap </i>displayed proudly in my house, so you could say I take my music-industry mockumentaries seriously. And while I'm not prepared to say that <i>Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping</i> "goes to eleven," it comes mighty close.<br />
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Yes, I'm as surprised as you are. I should preface the rest of this review with the disclaimer that I know waaaaaaaay too much about Justin Bieber (who is clearly the inspiration for main character Conner4Real) and spend waaaaaaaay too much of my time consuming various celebrity-gossip articles and TV shows. If you're not into that scene, a large percentage of <i>Popstar</i>'s humor will be lost on you. Whereas I laughed throughout the entire movie. This is one of the few times where I would recommend watching the film's trailer beforehand. If you like it, you will LOVE the rest of the movie. Bonus: most of the trailer's scenes occur within <i>Popstar</i>'s first ten minutes, so it's not even giving away the best parts.<br />
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The story, written by <i>SNL</i>-digital-short-masters The Lonely Island (Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone; the latter two also directed), follows Conner4Real (Samberg), a Bieber-esque popstar who was once part of a trio called The Style Boyz. After a falling out, the Boyz break up, and Conner skyrockets to fame as a solo act, while Owen (Taccone) tags along as Conner's DJ, and Lawrence (Schaffer) retreats to life on a rural farm. Schaffer and Taccone shot <i>Popstar</i> as a documentary that takes place as Conner's second solo album, <i>Connquest</i>, is about to drop. As you might have already guessed, the new tracks are met with tepid reception, which throws Conner's world tour into jeopardy. His team scrambles to do everything, <i>anything</i> they can—from securing corporate sponsorships, to lining up a hot new opening act (a fantastic Chris Redd as Hunter the Hungry), to staging a very, <i>very</i> bizarre E! exclusive—to keep Conner in the spotlight and the money rolling in.<br />
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Short documentary-style interviews with real-life celebrities, musicians and DJs are sprinkled throughout the film, and they are <i>hilarious</i>—Mariah Carey's in particular, and I'm impressed she went along with it. Several other famous faces also pop up in Conner's life as either themselves or other ridiculous characters, and those cameos were also just great. None of them were the kind of cameos that seemed totally pointless (like almost every single one in <a href="http://sarahsbackstagepass.com/zoolander-2-pg-13-%E2%98%85%E2%98%85/" target="_blank"><i>Zoolander 2</i></a>), either. One of my favorites was Will Arnett as the head of <i>CMZ. </i>(If you don't know what that's a spoof of, then again, this movie might not be for you.)<br />
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If I had one complaint about <i>Popstar</i>, it would be the same complaint I've made about so many recent comedies: all of the f-bombing gets old really quickly, and its cruder gags are also its weakest. But when the laughs revolve around one of Conner's absurd (but catchy!) songs, making fun of our fickle celebrity-obsessed culture, or the many ways that Conner's entourage strokes his ego (Tim Meadows and Sarah Silverman as Conner's manager and publicist are particularly funny), <i>Popstar</i> is in <i>Spinal Tap</i> territory—"no bones" about it.Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-50851343528351286782016-06-03T14:42:00.001-05:002016-06-03T14:58:16.778-05:00Me Before You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I read <i>Me Before You </i>by Jojo Moyes a few months ago, because usually if a novel that I'm even remotely interested in is being made into a film, I want to hurry up and finish the book first. I'm not typically one for weepy romances, but I have to admit that—like John Green's <i>The Fault in Our Stars</i> (which is waaaaay better, if equally manipulative)—<i>Me Before You </i>did affect me and had me sobbing my head off by the end. The film adaptation, whose screenplay was also written by Moyes, tries desperately to inspire that same emotional reaction. But for me, it failed.<br />
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The story revolves around Louisa Clark (<i>Game of Thrones</i>' Emilia Clarke), who mostly goes by her last name in the film. She's a young woman with no real ambitions who's desperate for a job because she's pretty much supporting her entire extended family. Despite her circumstances, however, she is impossibly upbeat and expresses this through outrageous outfits that look like something the four-year-old girls in my son's pre-k class would pick out. I felt like Moyes went overboard on the Quirky Scale with Clark's character in the book, so it annoyed me even more to see all of her weird clothes and shoes brought to life on the big screen.<br />
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Clark needs a job and ends up becoming the latest in a long line of caretakers for Will Traynor (<i>The Hunger Games</i>' Sam Claflin, well cast), who had everything anyone could ever dream of... all before being hit by a motorcycle. Now he's a quadriplegic and extremely, extremely bitter. His crazy-rich parents (Janet McTeer and Charles Dance, also perfectly cast)—they literally live in a castle—are beside themselves and are putting no small amount of pressure on Clark to convince Will that life is still worth living.<br />
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You can already guess what happens: little by little, Clark is able to break down Will's walls with her never-ending positivity and relentlessness, and they eventually fall for each other. (It didn't hurt that Clark's boyfriend throughout most of the story is a self-centered buffoon.) One thing Moyes got right with the screenplay is that she dropped two dark subplots that were in the book—one about Will's parents and the other about Clark's past. Minor characters like Will's sister are also gone, so the focus is almost entirely on Clark and Will's changing relationship. <br />
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But it was a misstep for Moyes and first-time director Thea Sharrock not to give us more insight into Will's state of mind. In the novel, Clark gets to know other quadriplegics through message boards, and I felt it went a long way toward understanding why Will could not bring himself to adjust to his new circumstances while others in similar situations embraced their lives more fully. I do not think this was the intention of the film in any way, but it came off as though the ultra-wealthy cannot cope with tragedy because they've always gotten what they wanted, whereas families who struggle are better equipped to handle even the most dire of setbacks.<br />
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Which leads us back to Clark and her uber-optimism. I did not have a problem with it in and of itself because I, too, try to convince others that the glass is half full more than I probably should. What I couldn't get over was Emilia Clarke's facial expressions. Girlfriend has some CRAZY eyebrows that work for her as the Mother of Dragons, but that almost took on a life of their own in this film. Clarke is an actress who acts with her entire face, which would be refreshing if it weren't so distracting in this particular case. If you go to this movie and are not bothered whatsoever by the many ways Clarke's eyebrows can move, I salute you. But to me it came off like she was trying too hard, almost like she wanted to go overboard with being animated in order to make people forget about her steely <i>Game of Thrones</i> character. It often ruined what should've been a somber or touching scene. Claflin, however, was exactly how I pictured Will would be, and was able to pull off both Will's biting wit and repressed rage.<br />
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I want to be clear that I'm not saying Clarke was an awful actress in this film, but I do think she was miscast and too enthusiastic with her facial expressions at key points. Her performance came off as cheesy in those scenes, which were usually accompanied by an aggressive, intrusive song off of the film's soundtrack. Luckily there weren't too many of these moments, but I must still forewarn my fellow book fans to set their expectations accordingly.Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-49490009208241859122016-02-10T12:25:00.005-06:002016-02-10T17:23:30.559-06:00Deadpool<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Oh, boy. How do I even begin to describe how much I loved <i>Deadpool</i>?<br />
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Perhaps I should start by reminding you how sick I've grown of superhero movies over the past several years, and how—before I saw <i>Deadpool</i>—I would've confidently stated that if I never saw a dude with "special powers" in a colorful skintight outfit again it would be too soon.<br />
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But from the first <i>second</i> of this film I was laughing; it was clear <i>Deadpool</i> was going to be different. I won't spoil the excellent opening sequence for you (my far-and-away favorite in recent memory), but I will say that it manages to poke fun at pretty much every superhero-movie convention while also ripping on its lead and his, uh, not-so-successful past in the genre. (But hey, he <i>did</i> get a hot wife out of the whole <i>Green Lantern</i> fiasco, so the joke's on us.) Maybe the power of the title sequence stems from director Tim Miller's experience; this may be his first feature film, but in the past he was responsible for the opening scenes of <i>The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo</i> and <i>Thor: Dark World</i>, so strong first impressions are kind of his thing.<br />
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At the outset we find our masked antihero Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) in the middle of a violent car-chase-turned-car-wreck-turned-shootout, complete with gratuitous slo-mo and a thumpin' soundtrack. What's unexpected (for those unfamiliar with Deadpool's comic-book roots) are all of the wisecracking and fourth-wall-breaking asides in the midst of the chaos, as if Deadpool didn't have a care in the world. But before we can really get our bearings, much less see how all of the mayhem ends, we're taken back in time to learn how Deadpool became Deadpool... and what exactly his deal is.<br />
<br />
So, yeah, it's an "origin story" as expected, since this is the first <i>Deadpool</i> spinoff and everyone wants to pretend like the character's scenes in <i>X-Men Origins: Wolverine </i>didn't happen. (There are some hilarious jabs about <i>that</i> whole mess of a movie as well; <i>Deadpool</i> is at its snarky best when it's giving the middle finger to other superhero movies, and specifically the<i> X-Men</i> franchise.)<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CsqhiqQkPow/Vro5X01b5CI/AAAAAAAAOvE/RgjQwdIEEHo/s1600/deadpool-crash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="How ya like me now?" border="0" height="215" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CsqhiqQkPow/Vro5X01b5CI/AAAAAAAAOvE/RgjQwdIEEHo/s400/deadpool-crash.jpg" title="How ya like me now?" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But for every way that the film is unconventional and unique in tone, its plot and story progression are about as generic as you can get. However, since I almost always care most about dialogue, I didn't mind not being exactly surprised by how Deadpool got from Point A to Point B in his life. I was having too much fun... which was still not as much fun as Reynolds was having with the role. He's never stuck out as anything special to me until this film. Now it's obvious why he's been trying to get <i>Deadpool</i> on the big screen for over a decade: he was made for this role. It's one of those characters you just can't imagine anyone else playing, and I can't say that about any other superhero character except for Tony Stark/Iron Man and Robert Downey Jr.<br />
<br />
Deadpool's nonstop banter, vulgarity, deprecation and audience-talking could've easily come off as annoying if not executed perfectly, and then the whole film would've been a bust. Instead it's the only superhero movie since the original <i>Iron Man</i> where I walked out of the theater feeling like I just saw something new. I've enjoyed a few other superhero films (all <i>Captain America</i> installments) and tolerated the rest, but for the most part I usually get the sense that I'm just watching the same movie over and over again with a new bad guy in the mix each time.<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jiY6vRi_usk/VrpCxBN-DxI/AAAAAAAAOvU/hVMPZC7KGRc/s1600/deadpool%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A rare fully-clothed moment." border="0" height="225" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jiY6vRi_usk/VrpCxBN-DxI/AAAAAAAAOvU/hVMPZC7KGRc/s400/deadpool%2B2.jpg" title="A rare fully-clothed moment." width="400" /></a><br />
With <i>Deadpool</i>, though, the characters and their conversations felt fresh despite the familiar Wolverinesque origin story and the by-the-numbers ending, so I still must give credit to screenwriters Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese (the same writing team behind <i>Zombieland</i>). We learn that "the Merc with a Mouth" (as he's known in the comics) used to be Wade Wilson, a loner smart-ass with a special-ops background and just one loner smart-ass pseudo-friend (Weasel, played by the perfectly cast T.J. Miller of <i>Silicon Valley</i>) until he finds his match in Vanessa Carlysle (Morena Baccarin), a hooker who can go toe-to-toe with Wade's crudeness and sarcasm. Their "meet-cute" consists of a I'm-more-damanged-than-you faux-pity-party competition, followed closely by a month-by-month sex montage that is, well... perhaps this is the place to point out that you should NOT bring your kids or nephews and nieces to <i>Deadpool</i> unless you want to have some reeeeeaaaaaalllllly uncomfortable conversations on the ride home. This warning also applies to adults who are obscenity-adverse; you are guaranteed to be offended within the first 5 minutes. Unlike other superhero films, this one is rated R, and it's no joke.<br />
<br />
So Wade meets Vanessa, they fall in love... and then he finds out he's going to die. Cancer is everywhere in his body. He doesn't want her to see him fade away, so he takes a really shady guy up on an offer to subject himself to torturous treatments that will "force a mutation" and cure his cancer. Yes, that means that Wade/Deadpool might make for X-Men material one day. But not just yet. Not before he can completely and utterly diss the residents of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters several times over. And exact revenge upon the guy who ran the experiments that left him horribly disfigured... with regenerative healing powers.<br />
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Will you get all of the jokes if you're unfamiliar with superhero movies? Probably not. But you'll still get the rest, and my bet is that—again, only if you have a high tolerance for extremely naughty stuff—<i>Deadpool</i> will win you over, too. Be sure you stay for the end credits, which any child of the '80s will appreciate. Apparently there is also a second end-credit scene that was not screened for critics, so if you're already hanging out in the theater afterward, you'll be treated to that as well.Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-48967019892029850612016-02-05T11:21:00.002-06:002016-02-05T13:50:07.430-06:00Pride and Prejudice and Zombies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s_WF0cQKXgs/VrPIzYfPrUI/AAAAAAAAOt0/ztpmQbWNutA/s1600/PPZ_PubPro_27in_4C_03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="I love a clever tagline" border="0" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s_WF0cQKXgs/VrPIzYfPrUI/AAAAAAAAOt0/ztpmQbWNutA/s400/PPZ_PubPro_27in_4C_03.jpg" title="I love a clever tagline" width="252" /></a></div>
"I totally loved PPZ," I texted my friend after I got out of the <i>Pride and Prejudice and Zombies</i> screening.<br />
<br />
"Are you drunk" was the reply.<br />
<br />
I get it. I didn't expect to like this movie, either—much less enjoy it so much that I would recommend others spend their hard-earned money going to see it.<br />
<br />
What's more, I can't even say my enthusiasm about this film stems from any sort of Jane Austen fandom. I've read not one of her books, nor have I seen any of the several <i>Pride and Prejudice</i> adaptations. Before you judge me to be some sort of uncultured moron, I'll have you know that I was in AP English throughout high school, but for whatever reason Austen's books were never on the curriculum. Maybe they figured we nerds would seek them out for ourselves? Alas, I did no such thing. I've never been about the whole "women in corsets" era.<br />
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Which, again, is why it's so weird that I adored <i>PPZ</i>. Its trailers made it look like it consisted of a bunch of supermodels being all pouty and sexy while hiking up their dresses to reveal whatever weapon they had strapped to their thighs that would be used to dispatch the undead. However, I was already hooked by the time that silliness hit the screen in the actual film. In fact, I was sold in the very first scene, where we see the ever-solemn Mr. Darcy (Sam Riley) ferret out a zombie in a room full of stuffy high-society types. Unlike other parts of the film, nothing in this initial scene is meant to be funny, and somehow it works. We learn that 19th century British zombies are not of <i>The Walking Dead </i>variety; they can still act and appear human for quite some time. Which is what makes Darcy's task all the more suspenseful. When he finally zeroes in on the undead guest, he wastes no time in bringing him/her/it to a bloody end ... which we see from the zombie's perspective. That's when I knew director and screenwriter Burr Steers (<i>Igby Goes Down, 17 Again</i>) wasn't going to phone this one in, and I allowed myself to think there could be a chance that a film called <i>Pride and Prejudice and Zombies</i> might not be embarrassingly awful.<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vdLa89DFl6c/VrPYWXfeMqI/AAAAAAAAOuE/Z9kIJoFthW4/s1600/PPZ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Girl Power!" border="0" height="332" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vdLa89DFl6c/VrPYWXfeMqI/AAAAAAAAOuE/Z9kIJoFthW4/s400/PPZ.jpg" title="Girl Power!" width="400" /></a></div>
As you may know, this morbid twist on Austen's classic story was first brought to us in novel form by Seth Grahame-Smith, who also wrote <i>Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter</i>. It focuses on Elizabeth Bennet (Lily James), who's unlike most girls at that time because her goal in life isn't to be married off to the highest bidder. She's got several sisters (the aforementioned supermodels), and their father (Charles Dance, aka Tywin Lannister) is refreshingly progressive in that he, too, thinks his girls should aspire to more than "Mrs." status. And so he has trained them in Chinese combat techniques so that they can survive the cruel zombie wasteland that the English countryside has become.<br />
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When Elizabeth's sister Jane (Bella Heathcoate) and the rich Mr. Bingley (Douglas Booth) fall for each other, Elizabeth often finds herself in the company of Bingley's friend Mr. Darcy, who is giving Grumpy Cat a serious run for his money. Darcy is perpetually somber and frowning and annoyed, and it's clear he's a big ol' snob. Elizabeth's got no patience for that, yet over the course of time she and Darcy at least grow to appreciate each other's zombie-killing skills.<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lCZC24LR7Zc/VrTZ1AoLIPI/AAAAAAAAOuc/5Uun0gUYBcA/s1600/pride-and-prejudice-and-zombies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Not a pirate, though that would've been cool" border="0" height="266" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lCZC24LR7Zc/VrTZ1AoLIPI/AAAAAAAAOuc/5Uun0gUYBcA/s400/pride-and-prejudice-and-zombies.jpg" title="Not a pirate, though that would've been cool" width="400" /></a>Despite the fact that soulless corpses are slowly but surely taking over their country, the characters in <i>Pride and Prejudice and Zombies </i>still fall victim to the worst human emotions: there is too much pride and there is definitely prejudice—and there's also extreme jealousy, paranoia and stubbornness. What I loved is that it was still such a human story in the midst of all of the zombie chaos (which never got very gory, by the way). The cast took their roles seriously and I never felt stupid or sheepish for enjoying the film. It helped that in addition to the leads, the supporting cast was strong as well, with standouts including Matt Smith (yes, the Eleventh Doctor) and Lena Headey (Cersei as <br />
Lady Catherine de Bourgh, fierce zombie assassin = perfection) really getting into their somewhat comedic roles. I also thought that with a film like this, the director would almost be expected to try and get away with it looking kind of cheap and being shot in a straightforward manner, but that was never the case here. Believe it or not there was some really gorgeous cinematography by Remi Adefarasin, including a few memorable pan-outs to aerial views that have stuck with me.<br />
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As I was getting ready to publish this review, a friend wrote me to ask if I'd seen <i>Pride and Prejudice and Zombies</i> yet. She had been given advanced passes and confessed that she "kinda loved it." I told her I felt the same. So that makes two of us...<br />
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Will the rest of you give it the chance it deserves? Or are you going to be all Mr. Darcy about it and assume it's beneath you? Your loss if you do! I think it makes for a fun movie night. If you end up seeing it, let me know if you agree. And be sure you stay a few minutes after the credits start rolling.Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-62553575164949366172016-01-22T10:01:00.002-06:002016-01-22T10:01:54.066-06:00The 5th Wave<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RLTUQ60Xv8k/VqEi2XRsoFI/AAAAAAAAOss/SODJYidj6qU/s1600/fiveth_wave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Damn aliens!" border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RLTUQ60Xv8k/VqEi2XRsoFI/AAAAAAAAOss/SODJYidj6qU/s400/fiveth_wave.jpg" title="Damn aliens!" width="268" /></a></div>
Yesterday, a fellow critic shared his condolences that I had to go to a screening of <i>The 5th Wave </i>on the eve of my birthday. But what he didn't know is that I am a fourteen year old trapped in a fortysomething's body when it comes to both books and movies: I can't get enough of the whole YA scene, especially when there's post-Apocalyptic stuff going down. And in some aliens for good measure and let's call it a party!<br />
<br />
So yes, I had already read Rick Yancey's novel of the same name over a year ago, and I'll have you know that it was one of <i>The New York Times'</i> Best YA Books of 2013. So in other words, it's not <i>Twilight</i>. (Though as you may remember <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2008/09/twilight-saga-no-spoilers.html" target="_blank">I liked that series, too</a>; I never claimed to be the most discerning reader. It's all about escapism, people.)<br />
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There are some YA books I read and I feel like they're just great <i>books</i>, period. Suzanne Collins' <i>Hunger Games </i>trilogy and John Green's <i>The Fault in Our Stars</i> are on that list. Then there are others, like <i>Paper Towns </i>(also by Green), or the <i>Divergent</i> and <i>Mortal Instruments</i> series, where I am conscious from beginning to end that I am not the target demographic and I feel a little silly. Not silly enough to actually stop reading these kinds of books, but a tad sheepish nonetheless.<br />
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<i>The 5th Wave</i> fell into the "just a good book overall" category for me, which is why I was disappointed when I saw its trailer. First, I thought Chloë Grace Moretz was not the right choice for the lead—she just didn't fit what I had in my head. Second, what little dialogue was highlighted was absolutely generic and awful. So I had extremely low expectations going into the screening.<br />
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The good news is that I enjoyed the film and was quite surprised by how much it <i>didn't </i>suck (by Teen Apocalypse Movie standards). The bad news is that I'm not sure I could outright recommend it to anyone who: 1) hasn't read (and liked) the book, and/or 2) is over the age of, say, 23. What seemed to be a lot more logical on paper comes off as totally bananas on the big screen—from how aliens destroy our planet in four "waves," to how we fight back by, um, attempting to turn shrimpy little kids into extraterrestrial killing machines. There are undeniable shades of <i>The Hunger Games </i>in the film that I never picked up in the book, and I can't help but feel like that was an intentional, conscious choice by director J Blakeson (<i>The Disappearance of Alice Creed</i>) and the very accomplished screenwriting team of Susannah Grant, Akiva Goldsman and Jeff Pinker.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--MemB1KCfg0/VqFX4K1rSfI/AAAAAAAAOs8/sinkMHO32OE/s1600/5thwave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Don't worry Cassie, I'll just mesmerize the aliens with my dreaminess" border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--MemB1KCfg0/VqFX4K1rSfI/AAAAAAAAOs8/sinkMHO32OE/s400/5thwave.jpg" title="Don't worry Cassie, I'll just mesmerize the aliens with my dreaminess" width="400" /></a></div>
So how did CGM do in the Feisty Heroine You Don't Want To Mess With role? Just fine. She wasn't who I had pictured as Cassie, the high-schooler whose perspective we're viewing the alien attacks and aftermath from, but she also wasn't who I had in my head as the lead in <i>If I Stay </i>(yet another YA book/movie I liked), either, and she was able to make that role her own as well. Though some other fairly impressive names and recognizable faces round out the supporting cast of <i>The 5th Wave</i>, if Moretz hadn't been able to pull her weight, it all would've fallen apart.<br />
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Instead we have two strong first acts where we see the Earth get destroyed and pretty much everyone on it be killed, learn what happened to Cassie's family, find out what's become of her crush Ben (Nick Robinson, only slightly less scowly than he was in <i>Jurassic World,</i> but still likable), and meet Evan (Alex Roe, almost too pretty to look at), some random guy who saves Cassie from alien snipers but may or may not be completely trustworthy.<br />
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In the final act, Cassie is hellbent on finding her little brother Sammy (cute moptop Zackary Arthur from <i>Transparent</i>) and can't stop Evan from tagging along with her. Little do they know that Sammy has been with Ben, a badass chick who goes by "Ringer" (Maika Monroe from <i>It Follows</i>, whose performance is one of the highlights of the film), and a bunch of other little kids who are under the direction of the shady Colonel Vosch (Liev Schrieber). From there, things get even more messed up than they already were. There are some hokey effects that distract from the action sequences, and the dialogue goes from decent to godawful near the end. But to me it was more like the screenwriters <i>knew</i> they were being cheesy, and so it came off as a little "wink-wink" and amusing rather than out-and-out cringeworthy. Which is why I still enjoyed <i>The 5th Wave </i>and didn't walk out of the theater all bitter that Hollywood had ruined yet another good book.<br />
<br />
I'm not going to tell you if Cassie succeeds in reuniting with her bro and finally giving him back his damn teddy bear she's managed to carry with her this whole time. Nor will I tell you if any of the aforementioned characters die. And the film ends before we get the final answer on whether humanity survives or the aliens win. However, the bigger question is this: Will this movie make enough green to get a sequel? The book <i>The 5th Wave</i> is based on is the first of three (with the final installment out in May of this year), yet I'm not sure the series has the <i>Twilight/Hunger Games/Divergent</i>-level fandom necessary to translate into profit at the box office. But I was entertained enough to hope it does.<br />
<br />Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-75673811931666481312016-01-17T14:07:00.002-06:002016-01-17T18:31:03.325-06:0013 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ykmn56c6GNw/VpbN5LI20qI/AAAAAAAAOr8/7gvF-NWRKiQ/s1600/thirteen_hours_the_secret_soldiers_of_benghazi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="It bothers me that there's a comma missing after "wrong."" border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ykmn56c6GNw/VpbN5LI20qI/AAAAAAAAOr8/7gvF-NWRKiQ/s400/thirteen_hours_the_secret_soldiers_of_benghazi.jpg" title="It bothers me that there's a comma missing after "wrong."" width="255" /></a>As I type out this next statement it seems so so so so very <i>wrong</i>, but after quickly refreshing my memory of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Bay#Filmography" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Michael Bay's filmography</a>, I've come to the realization that I actually enjoy most of his movies. Which is crazy, because on that same list of titles is one of my most-hated films of all time: <i>Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. </i>But the fact remains that you can usually count on Bay for a good time at the theater, assuming you can handle lots of testosterone, boobs and explosions. (Semi-relevant side note: my friend was at the Playboy Mansion a few years ago for work (really!) and he texted me that Michael Bay was there. My response? "OF COURSE HE IS.")<br />
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Bay's taken on real events before with <i>Pearl Harbor </i>and <i>Pain & Gain</i>, both of which were critically despised (though for the record I kinda loved the latter). So I can't say my hopes were high for <i>13 Hours</i>. Then there's the fact that most of what's been in the news more recently about the Benghazi tragedy did not exactly sound like movie material: emails, email servers, Hillary Clinton's emails and email servers, marathon Congressional hearings... blah blah blah... zzzzzz. I realize this is shameful and that I am living up (down) to the overall fairly accurate stereotype of an ignorant American, but I feel it's important to be honest that I didn't know a heck of a lot about what actually happened in Benghazi when I went into this movie.<br />
<br />
But Bay knows his audience, and so he's got you, fellow fools. He lays it all out at the beginning, quickly explaining where Benghazi is, what was going on there in 2012, and why that context matters. Then we meet some of the people who were working at both the United States' diplomatic compound and the secret CIA annex about a mile down the road. At that annex was a team of six men who all had hardcore military backgrounds and were in Benghazi as CIA security contractors; the screenplay by Chuck Hogan was based on Mitchell Zuckoff's book, which he wrote alongside the five surviving members of that team.<br />
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As impossible as this may be to believe, <i>13 Hours</i> isn't a political film. I was dreading that it would be, and was therefore pleasantly surprised that it instead focused almost solely on the Americans who were forced to defend themselves and each other when Islamic militants attacked both the compound and the annex. (In retrospect this focus makes sense, given the screenplay's source material). <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ASMw9cmkTuQ/Vpv0AiNxGqI/AAAAAAAAOsQ/xlBLajm8E8M/s1600/benghazi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Let's lighten things up: Pornstache from OITNB and both Jim AND Roy from The Office?!?" border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ASMw9cmkTuQ/Vpv0AiNxGqI/AAAAAAAAOsQ/xlBLajm8E8M/s400/benghazi.jpg" title="Let's lighten things up: Pornstache from OITNB and both Jim AND Roy from The Office?!?" width="400" /></a></div>
A little time was spent trying to differentiate the six beefy members of the security team upfront, with the most time given to Jack (John Krasinski) and Rone (James Badge Dale), who found themselves in a life-and-death situation on the streets of Benghazi just minutes after Rone picked Jack up from the airport—an ominous prelude to what was to come.<br />
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When the attack sequences start—and then do not let up for a large chunk of the 144-minute running time—it is often hard to understand exactly what's going on. But I think that was the point. We might be seeing firefights from above, from street level, through windows or from the security team's night-vision goggles, but one thing's clear: it was an all-out shitshow, with the CIA team unable to tell which locals might be on their side versus who might be about to shoot them in the back at any second.<br />
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While some of the dialogue in the film is downright embarrassing, I'd still argue that I'm glad it was Michael Bay, of all directors, who made this movie. He kept it about the people directly involved, was respectful to those who lost their lives, and did the right thing by using the Hero Worship filter to depict the actions of a group of people who were profoundly brave and selfless in the face of near-certain death.<br />
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But make no mistake: you will not—or at least you <i>should</i> not—leave the theater wanting to pump your fist and holler, "MURICA!!!" You might be, as I was, confused and saddened and angry. And then perhaps you'll also do what I do after seeing <i>any</i> good movie that's "based on true events": get home, smack yourself upside the head and then spend a little time educating yourself on the full story.Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-14707663850955968412015-12-19T11:51:00.001-06:002015-12-19T12:23:32.495-06:00Star Wars: The Force Awakens (spoiler-free review)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-acxjdiRfB8o/VnMY0PlKFLI/AAAAAAAAOpk/dsmdQ2YWDaI/s1600/star_wars_episode_vii__the_force_awakens_ver3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="It's finally here!" border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-acxjdiRfB8o/VnMY0PlKFLI/AAAAAAAAOpk/dsmdQ2YWDaI/s400/star_wars_episode_vii__the_force_awakens_ver3.jpg" title="It's finally here!" width="267" /></a></div>
(There are no spoilers whatsoever in this review. There aren't even any plot points discussed. You should know that I would never ruin your experience for you, my dear friends.)<br />
<br />
When I walked into the press screening of <i>Star Wars: The Force Awakens, </i>the city of Los Angeles had just decided to close 900 schools and keep more than 640,000 students home because of a terror threat. (That threat turned out to be a hoax... but I think we all know that the nation's second-largest school system was justified in taking it seriously.) As we waited for the lights to dim, I started talking with a fellow critic about how scary it is to be raising two young children these days, and how I became physically sick the first time I learned about my three-year-old son's pre-K class having to practice "lockdown drills." Our conversation about the state of this country got more and more depressing until we were saved by the glorious, triumphant first blasts of John Williams' iconic score. The words STAR WARS appeared on the screen... and the tears started flowing heavily down my face.<br />
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This strong, emotional reaction to the freakin' FIRST SECOND of the movie was not what I was expecting. In fact, it was kind of like when my five-month-old daughter accidentally hits herself in the face and then looks around all confused and is like, "Did <i><b>I</b></i> do that?" That's how I felt when I realized I was crying. I mean, I LOVE STAR WARS and consider myself something of a hardcore fangirl, and I knew going into the film that I was probably going to be a mess throughout most of its running time. But to start bawling at <i>the title screen? </i>What was happening?!?<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VUFQ9jLV1P4/VnWWwJQWm1I/AAAAAAAAOqo/fMUyr2gKVyQ/s1600/StarWarsToys.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Still have 'em! (This is not nearly everything, duh.)" border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VUFQ9jLV1P4/VnWWwJQWm1I/AAAAAAAAOqo/fMUyr2gKVyQ/s320/StarWarsToys.JPG" title="Still have 'em! (This is not nearly everything, duh.)" width="320" /></a>What was happening is that I was leaving the nonstop, overwhelming fears and worries of this world behind and being transported back in time to a beloved galaxy far, far away. But I was not only being transported to that other galaxy, I was also being transported back to my childhood. Back to me and my brother watching the movies over and over <i>and over.</i> Back to he and I "playing <i>Star Wars</i>"... not only with the figures, but also by pretending that <i>we</i> were the characters and running around our house like maniacs. (I think me rolling him down our steps in a sleeping bag might've somehow been related to a scene in the movies? Either way, sorry about that, bro.) Back to us standing in line for <i>Return of the Jedi</i> with our stuffed Ewoks. Those were happy, simpler times indeed. So all I can figure is that my tears started a-flowin' thanks to a prehistoric, preprogrammed stress-release response that is somewhere deep in all of us. And I guess there should be no shame in it anyway.<br />
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After I stopped crying, then I totally freaked out and all that was going through my mind was, "I'm seeing a new <i>Star Wars</i> movie! This is a NEW Star Wars movie! I'm about to find out what happened to everyone. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this day is finally here! I'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovie<i><b>I'mseeinganewStarWarsmovieI'mseeinganewStarWarsmovie!!!!!!!"</b></i><br />
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Then I was like, "Dammit, Erika, you're gonna start missing stuff. Pull yourself together." And thankfully I did.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wH5DJuBAfOQ/VnMo-0kpDqI/AAAAAAAAOp0/k_csZhk8hNA/s1600/daisy-ridley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="NOT Keira Knightley." border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wH5DJuBAfOQ/VnMo-0kpDqI/AAAAAAAAOp0/k_csZhk8hNA/s400/daisy-ridley.jpg" title="NOT Keira Knightley." width="400" /></a>Now, I already told you I'm not even going to talk about the plot. But under the assumption that you've seen at least some of the nonstop marketing for the film and watched its trailers, I will share that I walked into the theater highly confident J.J. Abrams was going to do us right. Someone had asked me if I was nervous about <i>The Force Awakens.</i> My response was an emphatic "no." I realize that not everything Abrams has done has been the best ever, but this IS the man responsible for co-creating the show that changed the course of my career and hence my life. He was quite literally the only man for the job, in my book.<br />
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My main concern had been whether or not the female lead was going to be any good. But even that wasn't really a big worry, because J.J. and his team have a knack for plucking fresh-faced no-name actresses out of thin air who turn out to be really, really good. And Daisy Ridley (who plays Rey) is more than good. She's incredible. Say it with me now: <i>phew</i>. Before the movie I got some popcorn and the girl at the concession stand looked at me in my <i>Star Wars </i>shirt (and the five women behind me in line, <i>also</i> in <i>Star Wars </i>shirts) and commented, "I have never seen a female <i>Star War</i>s fan before." My response was, "WHAT. SHUT UP." Then she repeated herself. All I have to say to that is, 1) it made me sad, but 2) there are bound to be more fangirls out there going forward thanks to Ridley's character. Yay!<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-skcFt_bic0Q/VnWYqHfRsbI/AAAAAAAAOrE/7V6k9k7FDY0/s1600/finn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="BELIEVE it." border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-skcFt_bic0Q/VnWYqHfRsbI/AAAAAAAAOrE/7V6k9k7FDY0/s400/finn.jpg" title="BELIEVE it." width="400" /></a>Next up is John Boyega, who I loved as Moses in <i>Attack the Block</i>. But that movie was so twisted and weird and his character had such a thick South London accent, I was kinda like, "How is THIS gonna work with him being what I assume is some sort of Stormtrooper-turned-good-guy?" First things first: the accent is gone, bruv. Second: his Finn ended up being my favorite character (well, favorite <i>new</i> character). Funny, believable and charming. I was so, so impressed. Another <i>phew</i> and <i>yay!</i><br />
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Another new character is pilot Poe Dameron, played by Oscar Isaac. On <a href="http://www.starwars.com/news/star-wars-episode-vii-cast-announced" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the day the cast was announced</a>, I honest-to-god squealed when finding out Isaac was going to be in the film. Do yourself a favor and see everything else he's ever been in and then you'll understand why. <br />
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After we'd met the various new characters on screen, I kept thinking stuff like, "OK who's supposed to be the new Han... who's supposed to be the new Luke... hmm, that sounded kind of Han-ish," and so on. Until it hit me that they're just their own characters and <i>they're</i> the ones who are going to be taking this franchise into the future. I am pleased to report that it's in good hands, and no one even needs to be the "new Han" or "new Luke" or "new Leia" or whatever. Ridley, Boyega and Isaac were surprisingly funny on top of just being totally immersed in their characters. You know how all of us think of Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill (I actually just wrote Luke Hamill first) and Carrie Fisher AS Han, Luke and Leia? That's already how I feel about these three. They ARE Rey and Finn and Poe. Forever and ever, amen.<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fTHFo6ScaTQ/VnMsflQtzHI/AAAAAAAAOqA/VKRSveUomAI/s1600/bb8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Wheeeeee!!!!" border="0" height="225" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fTHFo6ScaTQ/VnMsflQtzHI/AAAAAAAAOqA/VKRSveUomAI/s400/bb8.jpg" title="Wheeeeee!!!!" width="400" /></a><br />
If there was any new character that we all got to know before the film even came out, it was BB-8, the ball-looking droid. Nerds like me even <a href="http://www.sphero.com/starwars" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">bought their own BB-8s</a> earlier this year. It's not a spoiler to say that BB-8 is in the movie A LOT, and he can more than hang with R2-D2 and C3P0, as far as instantly-lovable droids go.<br />
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Speaking of the old-school characters, everyone knows that the original three leads are back for this installment. My favorite of those characters is Han Solo (I even have a framed still of him in my house!), and I'm happy to say that his role is no small cameo. Han and Chewie (<i>rrrrrrhhhhwwwwuuuurrrr</i>) have a ton of scenes and pretty much every single one of them was The. Best. And the first time the Millennium Falcon appeared on screen? I lost my breath. One of my favorite scenes in the entire film involves that old "piece of junk," too. I gotta say that on top of putting so many of the original trilogy's characters into the mix to appease us older fans and provide the needed transition for the future films, Abrams also included several other sly shoutouts and callbacks that made me smile, because he himself is also a megafan. Again I say, "right man for the job!" (Of course the inclusion of Lawrence Kasdan on the writing team—he also co-wrote <i>TESB</i> and <i>ROTJ</i>—helped significantly on this front, too.)<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-65nC6rrV6Ho/VnMz1DnkMSI/AAAAAAAAOqQ/mm2_vtbApZA/s1600/star-wars-kylo-ren.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Come at me, bro!" border="0" height="266" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-65nC6rrV6Ho/VnMz1DnkMSI/AAAAAAAAOqQ/mm2_vtbApZA/s400/star-wars-kylo-ren.jpg" title="Come at me, bro!" width="400" /></a></div>
What about the bad guys? From the trailers you're probably aware that Adam Driver plays Kylo Ren, who's like a Darth Vader wannabe with an upgraded light saber. Domhnall Gleeson (another one I shrieked about when the cast was announced—LOVE HIM) is General Hux, a leader in the First Order, which is like the new Empire. They're both fine, but I just don't think there's ever going to be a better villain than Darth Vader. #sorrynotsorry To me Kylo Ren was like a spoiled-brat villain-poser and I wanted to just smack him several times. If I had one issue with <i>The Force Awakens,</i> it had to do with how some of the bad-guy parts were explained (or not explained), but then someone reminded me that not everything was always crystal clear in the original trilogy, either.<br />
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Let's see... a few other things: The first time I saw it was in 2D. The second time was in 3D and while I usually hate 3D, I'll admit that it did add a little to the experience—there was one part in particular where the whole audience kinda laughed at how a huge ship was sticking out at us. It didn't give me a headache like it usually does, either. I'm seeing it again tonight (yes, really) but didn't have a format choice because there was only one seat left and it was in a 2D theater... and I'm fine with that. (I'm seeing it again because I feel robbed of a true hardcore fandom experience so far—seeing it early with mostly silent critics and then again in a half-full theater at noon aren't the same as a nighttime screening on opening weekend where I know everyone will be cheering and clapping and reacting loudly throughout. That's what I want. That's what I NEED!)<br />
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The last thing I'll comment upon is what a great job they did with the various "creatures." If you rewatch the originals, all of the various aliens and weirdo characters still have their charm, but many of them look straight-up fake because of technology and effects restrictions back in the day. That's no longer the case, obviously!<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0pvLifZvc04/VnWXPrm2S_I/AAAAAAAAOqw/DnjJlkpeLQA/s1600/hanandchewie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="We're ALL home." border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0pvLifZvc04/VnWXPrm2S_I/AAAAAAAAOqw/DnjJlkpeLQA/s400/hanandchewie.jpg" title="We're ALL home." width="400" /></a></div>
Everything else I want to say—which is a lot—about the parts where I laughed, I cried, I gasped and I cheered, is all spoilery, so I better start wrapping this up. I haven't been able to stop thinking about the film since I saw it. My mind has been replaying certain scenes over and over and whirring away with theories about what might happen in the upcoming installments. I have been DYING TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH MY FELLOW NERDS. It's the first time I've felt like this since <i>LOST</i> ended. (Speaking of my favorite TV series... there are a few fun <i>LOST</i> connections in the movie, too!) But perhaps most importantly, I left the theater with a renewed sense of hope. (Kinda-sorta reference to the original film not intended.) Yes, there's a lot of bad stuff going on in <i>our</i> galaxy, and that's not going to end any time soon. But it's not likely going to be any world leader or famous person or human version of a superhero who's going to make things better. It will be ordinary people like you and I who choose to get involved in causes we believe in and stand up to fight the good fight when it would be easier to just do nothing. As cheesy as it sounds, all of us, every day, have a choice: the dark side, or the light. And that is why the <i>Star Wars </i>franchise has been so beloved for decades and will always be so beloved—it reminds each one of us that we can make a difference in some way. We can make things better. The bad guys don't have to win. (Although they will apparently keep coming back again and again and again in various masks. D'oh!)<br />
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OK, before I go, I've decided that I AM going to spoil you on one big thing: Jar-Jar Binks does NOT make an appearance.<br />
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Can we get a final <i>phew</i>?<br />
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<b>ENJOY THE SHOW and MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU, ALWAYS.</b><br />
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- e<br />
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p.s. I WILL ALLOW spoilers and plot points in the comments below because I am dying to talk about the movie with others. So don't take a look-see down there until you've watched the movie for yourself. In a few days I intend to post all of my theories about various characters and what I thnk could happen in Episodes VIII and IX, but feel free to write whatever you'd like now before I get to it.<br />
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You have been forewarned!<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hq80ntQF660/VnWXiCXeCyI/AAAAAAAAOq4/YoWr-Y34Ht8/s1600/JediSummer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="The next generation of female Star Wars fans begins with my daughter." border="0" height="500" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hq80ntQF660/VnWXiCXeCyI/AAAAAAAAOq4/YoWr-Y34Ht8/s640/JediSummer.jpg" title="The next generation of female Star Wars fans begins with my daughter." /></a></div>
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<br />Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-60990539187352484132015-06-12T15:07:00.002-05:002015-06-12T15:35:54.880-05:00Movie Review: Jurassic World<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-spb_jRMxc98/VXsnD9iB7VI/AAAAAAAAOfs/me6HReG1H5w/s1600/jurassic_world_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="They're baa-aack" border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-spb_jRMxc98/VXsnD9iB7VI/AAAAAAAAOfs/me6HReG1H5w/s400/jurassic_world_poster.jpg" title="They're baa-aack" width="268" /></a></div>
<b>In short: I loved it.</b><br />
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Lightning has struck twice this year, my friends. I often complain about how action sequences haven't done it for me in a long, long time. I'll watch an elaborate car chase, explosion-heavy war scene or tricked-out superhero vs. villain battle and just feel bored. It's all like "been there, done that" for me at this point.<br />
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Until last month with <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2015/05/mad-max-fury-road.html" target="_blank"><i>Mad Max: Fury Road</i></a>. And again this week with <i>Jurassic World</i>. Two totally different kinds of films—the former having truly changed the game and the latter being pretty much the definition of a popcorn movie—but all that matters to me is that I loved every minute of watching both of them, and that's something I can't say about any other recent action/adventure titles. I should probably mention here that I have no nostalgic feelings about the original trilogy, so there wasn't any of that factoring into my enjoyment of the film. This isn't the <i>Star Wars</i> franchise to me, by any means.<br />
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Having said all that, does it really even matter if I tell you what <i>Jurassic World </i>is about? No. Plus, you already freaking know what it's about: people being stupid (again) and dinosaurs wreaking having on those stupid people (again). It's a great combination, even though the dino mayhem far surpasses the idiotic human stuff in terms of entertainment value. And I'm not ashamed at all to admit that I was rooting against mankind for the majority of the movie.<br />
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Almost nothing of importance has changed plot-wise when comparing <i>Jurassic World</i> to 1993's <i>Jurassic Park</i>, except that this time it's 22 years later, the rebooted theme park has been operating successfully for years, and there's a guy named Owen Grady (Chris Pratt, in full "Hire me as the next Indiana Jones" mode, not that there's anything wrong with that) who's been attempting to train four Velociraptors with "positive reinforcement" techniques, much in the same way that I tried (and miserably failed) to train my black lab years ago. <br />
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Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) is the park's head of operations, and she's all business. Some people may say that Claire's character is one dimensional because she's <i>so</i> uptight and unemotional, but I actually know women like that so whatever. However, I was annoyed by the fact that she ran around in heels the entire time, even after the inappropriateness of her outfit was actually mentioned by Owen. But I got over it because 1) running around barefoot would've probably been worse in this case, 2) you can't run in heels after the heels are broken off, so that wasn't an option, and 3) I was rolling my eyes even harder at the fact that <i>all</i> of the characters stopped to chat, hug, kiss, joke or do anything other than run their assess off or look for places to hide when there were LOOSE DINOSAURS NEARBY WHO HAD ALREADY NEARLY KILLED THEM.<br />
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So I truly had no issue with Claire overall, but the character I thought was most ripped out of the Movie Character Stereotype Handbook was Vic Hoskins (Vincent D'Onofrio, who I <i>still</i> can't believe is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rnTpR4M1ZI" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the same guy who played Thor</a> in my beloved <i>Adventures in Babysitting</i>). Vic is the head of security and is all about weaponizing the dinos. He relishes the death and chaos when things start going horribly wrong. In other words, he is the Evil War- and Violence-Obsessed Villain.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f_NHGH5x4nY/VXs8bQOVVrI/AAAAAAAAOgc/HvjnIOoKeVA/s1600/jurassic-world-four.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Star Lord to the rescue" border="0" height="153" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f_NHGH5x4nY/VXs8bQOVVrI/AAAAAAAAOgc/HvjnIOoKeVA/s400/jurassic-world-four.jpg" title="Star Lord to the rescue" width="400" /></a></div>
There of course must be kids' lives in danger again, so Claire has two nephews who are visiting for the weekend... who she promptly hands off to an assistant... who the brothers find a way to ditch so that they're totally alone right before things go south. I was freaking out about the older one (Zach, played by Nick Robinson (<i>The Kings of Summer</i>)) for most of the film, because I thought he looked so much like another actor... but I couldn't put my finger on it. By the end I realized that it was a young, <i>Goonies</i>-era Sean Astin that he resembled. Anyway, the brothers had a go-nowhere subplot about their parents' divorce, but otherwise they only served as a device to bring Owen and Claire together to have someone to save.<br />
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And that's all fine and good, because watching these people (plus many other minor characters it's pointless to mention here) deal with the repercussions of humankind's greed, arrogance and inability to learn from the past was absolutely thrilling. The dinosaurs looked great, they sounded great, and everything about them was incredible. They're what's worth the price of a ticket, and thankfully you won't have to sit through too many human-only scenes. Michael Giacchino's spectacular throwback score and shots of the gorgeous island of Oahu (specifically Kualoa Ranch) are worth the cost admission, too.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XKalrZkRfsk/VXs8ynwQDnI/AAAAAAAAOgk/cb2-JMImHXw/s1600/JJ_JW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Yay for Jake Johnson, in the role of Comic Relief, Sensible Human" border="0" height="192" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XKalrZkRfsk/VXs8ynwQDnI/AAAAAAAAOgk/cb2-JMImHXw/s320/JJ_JW.jpg" title="Yay for Jake Johnson, in the role of Comic Relief, Sensible Human" width="320" /></a></div>
So if you're looking for some deep statement about man vs. nature or a thoughtful debate on the ethics of bringing extinct creatures to life or cooking up hybrid creatures, this is not the movie for you. (Try <i>Splice</i>.) But personally I don't always need fully formed characters or Big Ideas or even a well-thought-out plot. Really all I want to do when I go into any movie is forget about reality. I want my mind to be so absorbed by what's going down on the screen that for two hours it completely empties of everything that's stressing me out. These days, there is a lot stressing me out. Director Colin Trevorrow's previous film, <i>Safety Not Guaranteed,</i> was one of my two favorites of 2012 (along with <i>Looper</i>). <i>Jurassic World </i>is a very, <i>very</i> different kind of movie, but<i> </i>Trevorrow succeeded in once again hooking me from the opening seconds and making me forget about the real world, which is probably why I broke into applause at the end. And since everyone's looking for a little escapism, I can only hope you enjoy it even half as much as I did. Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-68359223119584174592015-05-15T14:33:00.000-05:002015-05-15T16:42:07.239-05:00Mad Max: Fury Road<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0RRqL_Mt2_A/VVN8F1UUusI/AAAAAAAAOdQ/1F6Oaf5HhuU/s1600/mad_max_fury_road.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Make no mistake, this is HER movie." border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0RRqL_Mt2_A/VVN8F1UUusI/AAAAAAAAOdQ/1F6Oaf5HhuU/s400/mad_max_fury_road.jpg" title="Make no mistake, this is HER movie." width="268" /></a></div>
<b>"Masterpiece" doesn't even begin to describe it.</b><br />
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When extremely enthusiastic buzz for <i>Mad Max: Fury Road</i> started leaking after its first press screenings last weekend, I didn't give those early whispers much weight. As a rule, I try not to pay attention to other film reviews before I write my own so as to not have my opinion clouded, and in this case, if I'm being honest, I had already figured there was going to be a strong George-Miller-fanboy element that would need to be factored in to account for all of the glowing reviews coming from mostly (95%, I calculated) male critics.<br />
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I had also figured that affection for the existing <i>Mad Max</i> films would bleed over into this reboot of sorts (with Miller back in the director's chair and Tom Hardy taking over Mel Gibson's role as "Mad" Max Rockatansky). Here's the part where I admit to having never seen any of those movies. What can I say? I was an 11-year-old girl obsessed with Madonna and <i>The Goonies</i> when the third film (<i>Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome</i>) came out, and for whatever reason just never felt motivated to rent the trilogy in the decades since. They seemed like testosterone-fueled "guy movies" to me. And my general <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2006/08/lethal-weapon-indeed-or-what-in-hell.html" target="_blank">dislike of Mel Gibson</a> didn't help.<br />
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I considered catching up before seeing <i>Fury Road</i>, but ultimately didn't. My reasoning: in addition to most other critics being male, nearly all of them have seen the original trilogy, so maybe it would be more interesting if I reported from a totally different perspective. <br />
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But as it turns out, my gender and complete lack of familiarity with George Miller's previous films didn't even matter in the end. I'm here to assure you that you don't need to know anything about the other <i>Mad Max</i> installments to have your mind completely blown by <i>Fury Road</i>. I walked out of the theater contemplating that it might just be the best film I've ever seen, ever. (Not my <i>favorite</i>, but the best. There's a difference.) <br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wBy2i945inA/VVOQbBQOWCI/AAAAAAAAOdg/TP4Q70NzbpQ/s1600/mad-max-fury-road_joe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="That's attractive" border="0" height="225" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wBy2i945inA/VVOQbBQOWCI/AAAAAAAAOdg/TP4Q70NzbpQ/s400/mad-max-fury-road_joe.jpg" title="That's attractive" width="400" /></a></div>
From <i>Fury Road</i>'s very first moments, I was hooked. There stood poor Max, totally alone in the vast desert of post-apocalyptic Australia, hearing voices and hallucinating. He has been on the run for years, trying to survive in a cruel world that is nothing but sand for as far as the eye can see, while also failing to shake off disturbing visions of his family members and loved ones blaming him for their deaths.<br />
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Soon he has bigger things to worry about, though, because he gets captured by a gang of War Boys—brainwashed, chalk-covered, wild-eyed members of a feral army that worships King Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne, who played Toecutter in 1979's <i>Mad Max</i>). After a heart-pounding escape-attempt sequence that, in retrospect, serves as a remarkably tame appetizer for what's to come, Max finds himself strung upside down and serving as a blood donor for a weakened War Boy named Nux (Nicholas Hoult).<br />
<br />
We are introduced to Immortan Joe as he showers his starving, filthy and tumored masses with a stingy taste of the drinking water he's been pumping up from the earth and hoarding. But soon after this display of arrogance and power, he discovers that Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron)—who was supposed to be leading a crew of War Boys on a fuel run—has stolen Joe's five (!) wives and gone rogue. The wheezy, masked ruler promises glory to whomever brings Furiosa to justice, so Nux decides he needs to strap his blood bank (Max) to the front of a vehicle and join the chase. <br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-F1zdddVmDe4/VVZIOtJmVoI/AAAAAAAAOd8/EcCWpz_mtW0/s1600/mad-max-fury-road-tom-hardy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Cool guys JUMP away from explosions" border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-F1zdddVmDe4/VVZIOtJmVoI/AAAAAAAAOd8/EcCWpz_mtW0/s320/mad-max-fury-road-tom-hardy.jpg" title="Cool guys JUMP away from explosions" width="320" /></a></div>
And it really is a chase. "It" being the majority of the two-hour film. It is a chase that puts to shame all other cinematic chases. All of them. It is a chase that will leave you astounded by its relentlessness, its creativity and its beauty. I've simply never seen anything like it—many parts of the Joe vs. Furiosa land race reminded me of acrobatic and carefully choreographed Cirque du Soleil performances, but even that description doesn't really do it. (Maybe because those performances usually lack spearings, stabbings, rammings and explosions.) <br />
<br />
From the increased frame-rate that makes everything appear jumpy and hyper-real, to the electric-guitar and drum-heavy score (by Junkie XL) that's cleverly embedded into the action, to the glorious wide shots of the desert chase courtesy of cinematographer John Seale—you can't help but wonder how in the hell Miller pulled this off, especially when there doesn't seem to be that much obvious CGI. <i>Fury Road </i>raises the bar so high I can't imagine it being met for years to come. Let's just say it reinforced my belief that superhero movies have been taking the easy and expected way out for quite a while now. No action movie I can remember holds a candle to <i>Fury Road</i>. No action movie I can remember should even be classified as an action movie now that <i>Fury Road</i> exists. It's a game-changer.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kQpK686Ilrw/VVZI0nDqmqI/AAAAAAAAOeE/Ox2yUHA8L3Q/s1600/mad-max-fury-road-imperator-furiosa-wallpaper_1269214677.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Those eyes thought" border="0" height="225" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kQpK686Ilrw/VVZI0nDqmqI/AAAAAAAAOeE/Ox2yUHA8L3Q/s400/mad-max-fury-road-imperator-furiosa-wallpaper_1269214677.jpg" title="Those eyes though" width="400" /></a></div>
Miller, Brendan McCarthy and Nico Lathouris wrote the screenplay, which is very light on dialogue. I suppose that could've been a problem if Hardy and Theron weren't masters at conveying such a range of thoughts and emotions through their expressions. And truth be told, it kind of bugged me when any characters did speak; the slang and accents and levels of sanity varied so drastically among them, it started to shatter the illusion that this awful world was real. I also thought it was kind of odd that Max looked so normal compared to all of the freaks around him. Shame on me for assuming the distant dystopian future could never abide a few good-looking dudes.<br />
<br />
Much ado has been made about the film's feminist or female empowerment themes, but I didn't walk out of the theater with any such thoughts in my head. The person who's had enough of Immortan Joe's bullshit happens to be female, and she also happens to kick ass. A lot of the people who end up helping her happen to be ass-kicking females as well. But to me this isn't a story of men versus women or men effing up the world and women having to save it, it's a story of how a small group of people with not much more than their convictions and determination might possibly change things. It's a story about hope. It just takes a while to realize that after you've been holding your breath in amazement for two hours.Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-15339771035758082532015-05-12T11:07:00.002-05:002015-05-12T11:07:57.351-05:00Give It Away Give It Away Give It Away NowAs I explained in <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2015/05/ch-ch-ch-changes.html" target="_blank">yesterday's post</a>, I've had some extra time over the past few weeks. My schedule will also be slightly less jam-packed between now and our vacation next Friday, and I have big plans to continue my rare productive streak.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Pg3H7ud5c20/VVIjD7LfA0I/AAAAAAAAOdA/E7FuAT-pkkI/s1600/HandbagsOfHope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="What a great idea, huh?" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Pg3H7ud5c20/VVIjD7LfA0I/AAAAAAAAOdA/E7FuAT-pkkI/s1600/HandbagsOfHope.jpg" title="What a great idea, huh?" /></a></div>
One of the biggest things I accomplished so far was pulling together a ton—and I do mean <i>a ton</i>—of clothes, purses and toiletries for a few different charities my mom volunteers for. My parents were here a few weekends ago and my mom asked if I had any purses I no longer wanted because she was working with a group called <a href="http://www.handbagsofhope.webs.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Handbags of Hope</a>. This awesome organization pulls together purses filled with various toiletries for women in shelters or who have fled dangerous situations and took absolutely no possessions with them. (There are many nonprofits like this one around the country, by the way... and hint hint.)<br />
<br />
My mom asked the right person. Not only did I have several purses wasting away in my closet purgatory, but I had over a dozen of those random makeup bags that you get "free" with your purchase at various makeup counters. These things were seriously multiplying on my bathroom shelves, and I was thrilled to clear them out and know they'd be going to someone who actually needed them.<br />
<br />
And the toiletries? Oh lord, don't even get me started. This is a little embarrassing, but I clearly have some sort of kleptomaniac blood running through my veins because every time I stay at a hotel, I take all of the toiletries home. All of those mini bottles of shampoo, conditioner, lotion, mouthwash, body gel, soap—you name it. And we travel a lot. So over the years I accumulated literally hundreds of bottles, boxes and packets of various toiletries. My reasoning was that we have a lot of people stay with us and that it would be nice to offer our guests a selection of bathroom amenities to choose from. But at this point someone could stay with us for five years straight and not run out of shampoo. It was ridiculous.<br />
<br />
So I spent a few hours over the course of that weekend going through my bathroom closets, looking under the sinks and rummaging through every other random place I've squirreled this stuff away and came up with several big grocery bags full of loot for my mom to take back with her. Now I wish I would've weighed all of it because it was insane! All that's left now are a few small baskets for each of our guest rooms that look something like this:<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IqKDVLziv1Y/VVIhhGYO1HI/AAAAAAAAOck/jJ44ssoRIWc/s1600/IMG_8552.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Lint brush & extra toothbrushes supplied by me. All else, um, supplied by hotels around the world." border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IqKDVLziv1Y/VVIhhGYO1HI/AAAAAAAAOck/jJ44ssoRIWc/s640/IMG_8552.JPG" title="Lint brush & extra toothbrushes supplied by me. All else, um, supplied by hotels around the world." width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I think our visitors are gonna survive AND still be so fresh and so clean when they leave our place.<br />
<br />
Next up was the biggest task yet: cleaning out my clothes closets, since my mom mentioned there were other groups she worked with that were holding clothing drives.<br />
<br />
I've been freelancing from home since 2007, yet for some reason I still kept all of my very nice suits I wore for The Man, along with a ton of high heels and more businessy stuff that I haven't touched for years. I just never had the time—even on weekends—to go through it all and decide what I should give to charity and what I should keep. But now I finally had a huge motivation to do it: I had a few hours to spare because my parents were watching Desmond all weekend <i>and</i> they were going to be nice enough to actually haul everything to the various nonprofits for me and get me the tax receipts I need. I HAD to get it done.<br />
<br />
I went crazy paring down my closets. It felt so, so good. I kept my three favorite suits, but all other outfits only relevant to The Man went bye-bye. As did sweaters I hadn't worn in at least two seasons, pants that didn't fit anymore, shoes that were uncomfortable, pajamas I'd forgotten about, and so on.<br />
<br />
We piled it all into my parents' SUV and FILLED IT. We <i>filled</i> an SUV with clothes, purses and toiletries!?!?<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PV-aUjBRXoY/VVIhhFkZayI/AAAAAAAAOco/PTw-FwDn6OM/s1600/IMG_8289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Behold the back seat" border="0" height="640" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PV-aUjBRXoY/VVIhhFkZayI/AAAAAAAAOco/PTw-FwDn6OM/s640/IMG_8289.JPG" title="Behold the back seat" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3SnQ0gyt5Oo/VVIhhDWZV9I/AAAAAAAAOcs/pZ49dYKAbd4/s1600/IMG_8284.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Behold the way way back" border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3SnQ0gyt5Oo/VVIhhDWZV9I/AAAAAAAAOcs/pZ49dYKAbd4/s640/IMG_8284.JPG" title="Behold the way way back" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
We gave away<i> that much stuff</i>... and my husband still needs to rummage through his closets! We're going to have so much extra room around here, and we can feel extra-good about it. Words can't describe the relief I felt at getting this done.<br />
<br />
I hope I've inspired you to do the same if you've been feeling like you need a good spring cleaning. Now is the time! 'Cause it's spring—duh!<br />
<br />
- e Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-85434686433685690762015-05-11T14:56:00.004-05:002015-05-11T15:03:24.891-05:00Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iT5-2BIAzWo/VVEImNq6XGI/AAAAAAAAOcQ/LS_uSWq3IpM/s1600/changes-ahead-road-sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Come at me" border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iT5-2BIAzWo/VVEImNq6XGI/AAAAAAAAOcQ/LS_uSWq3IpM/s320/changes-ahead-road-sign.jpg" title="Come at me" width="320" /></a></div>
So.<br />
<br />
It's been a while since I've posted, and this time I actually have a good excuse—or several good excuses, as it were. Two of them can't be shared publicly right now, so I'll have to keep you in suspense on those for a bit longer. But one update I can talk about is that—after <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2008/09/drumroll-please-e-is-writing-for-redbox.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">6.5 years</a> of writing movie reviews, blog posts and social media musings—I am no longer freelancing for <a href="http://www.redbox.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Redbox</a>. It's only been a few weeks since I stopped working for them, so I'm not even sure it's completely sunk in to me yet. I was a contractor for Redbox longer than I had a "real job" anywhere else, so I guess the adjustment is going to take some time.<br />
<br />
I had four months to prepare for my last day, but clearly change is harder than I'd like to admit because I didn't get off my butt and proactively try to secure another film reviewing gig like I should've. And now because of the other stuff going on that I can't share just yet, it probably doesn't make sense for me to try and find a more permanent critic post until the fall. So you can expect to see more movie reviews here on According to e in the meantime, starting this week.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fI4PIrQRVc8/VVEJTE7-TAI/AAAAAAAAOcY/SAuJSgdofQM/s1600/luckybritneyspears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Britney would say I'm lucky" border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fI4PIrQRVc8/VVEJTE7-TAI/AAAAAAAAOcY/SAuJSgdofQM/s320/luckybritneyspears.jpg" title="Britney would say I'm lucky" width="320" /></a></div>
As I was stressing out about how I was going to replace the income I've lost from Redbox, another wonderful opportunity fell into my lap, much like the Redbox job did back in 2008. I must've done something damn cool in a past life for this type of thing to happen to me so many times. Or maybe it's just really good luck?<br />
<br />
My new gig will start in a few months and is still social media and writing-centric, but it's not really public-facing—meaning that I won't be sharing links of things I've written. So my hope is to eventually find a way to balance the new client work and my other client work, start reviewing films for a new outlet <i>and</i> <i>also</i> post frequently on this site in order to keep the ol' creative expression flowing. <br />
<br />
Now that my personal update is out of the way, I'll be back with commentary on totally random topics starting tomorrow . . . until I leave for Ireland and Northern Ireland next Friday. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/24/northern-ireland-game-of-thrones_n_7130952.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Westeros</a>, here I come!<br />
<br />
- eErika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-30491725700524877822015-04-24T13:10:00.004-05:002015-04-24T14:36:42.259-05:00Movie Review: The Age of Adaline<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lJUEtpji7NI/VTpz4Fz5aYI/AAAAAAAAObQ/k0nrLNCtwEw/s1600/age_of_adaline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="If you HAD to stop aging, though, I do think 29 is a pretty great place to pause." border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lJUEtpji7NI/VTpz4Fz5aYI/AAAAAAAAObQ/k0nrLNCtwEw/s400/age_of_adaline.jpg" title="If you HAD to stop aging, though, I do think 29 is a pretty great place to pause." /></a></div>
<br />
<b>What would you do if you knew you'd stay 29 years old forever? </b><br />
<br />
I hadn't done my homework before seeing <i>The Age of Adaline</i>; I knew who the leads were and that it was about a woman who didn't age, but that's it. So I was surprised to learn afterward that it isn't based on any best-selling novel, but rather is an original story from J. Mills Goodloe and Salvador Paskowitz. I was surprised by this because let's be honest—there aren't a ton of romantic dramas out there these days that aren't adaptations. Actually, there aren't many movies<i> </i>of any genre <i></i>out there these days that aren't adaptations.<br />
<br />
I'd made another pre-screening assumption: that the movie was going to be either too cheesy or too weepy for my tastes. Wrong again.<br />
<br />
Maybe it's because I've always been a sucker for any story dealing with the manipulation of time, but I found myself willing to go all in with <i>The Age of Adaline</i> from its very first moments. A voiceover explains the fairly ridiculous (and intentionally comedic in parts) setup of exactly how Adaline Bowman (Blake Lively) stopped aging at 29 years old when she crashed her car on the way to pick up her five-year-old daughter after her husband's untimely death. The year was 1937.<br />
<br />
Director Lee Toland Krieger (<i>Celeste and Jesse Forever</i>) made a smart decision in putting Adaline's secret out there from the start—and by giving the audience a silly "wink and nudge" moment that allowed them to just laugh out loud at the crazy premise and then move on to caring about Adaline's dilemma. The dilemma being that since she has remained 29 for decades, she can't get close to anyone, nor can she stay in one place for more than ten years before somebody starts getting suspicious.<br />
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It's a lonely, mournful existence, which Lively does an excellent job of conveying throughout the film, but there was one scene in particular that stuck with me. Adaline and her now-eightysomething daughter, Flemming (Ellen Burstyn) were at lunch, and Flemming was babbling on about friends of hers who had recently fallen or had hip surgery or had moved to a retirement community. The mix of emotions that crossed Adaline's face within a matter of seconds—concern, disbelief, irritation, denial, sadness, and then back to authentic concern—was amazing and heartbreaking. A different scene where Adaline has to say goodbye to yet another faithful canine companion put me over the edge. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DcM-zd4QlaI/VTpz31FNfHI/AAAAAAAAObM/R7vfh-r0jmw/s1600/age-of-adaline-still.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="If you look real quick you might think this is Shia LaBeouf, like I did." border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DcM-zd4QlaI/VTpz31FNfHI/AAAAAAAAObM/R7vfh-r0jmw/s400/age-of-adaline-still.jpg" title="If you look real quick you might think this is Shia LaBeouf, like I did." /></a>And so it becomes clear that unless you're a vampire with other vampire friends to hang with (or a virginal beauty decides she just <i>must</i> turn undead and join you), living forever ain't all it's cracked up to be. Adaline can't even pull an Arwen—if she were to find The One, she couldn't simply choose to give up her immortality for her own personal version of Aragorn.<br />
<br />
So when Ellis Jones (Michael Huisman) aggressively pursues Adaline after they meet at a New Year's Eve party, it's understandable (to us) why she plays coy. However, she does allow herself a little fun, which leads to a weekend trip with Ellis to his parent's house to celebrate their fortieth anniversary. Things get mighty mighty weird right quick, because Ellis's dad William (Harrison Ford) knew Adaline back in the day. <br />
<br />
This is where I tell you that if you're on the fence about seeing this movie, you must see it solely for the flashbacks of Harrison Ford's character. Because I'm pretty darn sure that my entire theater had their minds blown by not only the physical resemblance of the actor playing young William (Anthony Ingruber) to a young Harrison Ford, but also by how much the two men sound exactly like each other. It is freaky, I tell you. (I later learned that Ingruber got the part specifically because of his Han Solo impressions on YouTube. For real.)<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aN9JPcUbCUw/VTqEMDEwnmI/AAAAAAAAObk/FeTD8cY2PAg/s1600/Harrison-Ford-in-The-Age-of-Adaline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Where's Chewie?" border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aN9JPcUbCUw/VTqEMDEwnmI/AAAAAAAAObk/FeTD8cY2PAg/s1600/Harrison-Ford-in-The-Age-of-Adaline.jpg" height="212" title="Where's Chewie?" width="320" /></a></div>
As for Ford himself, he's great, too. He and Kathy Baker (as William's wife) are not in the film long, but they serve to drive home the consequences and pain of missed opportunities and "what if?" scenarios that we'd previously only considered from Adaline's view.<br />
<br />
I had but three small issues with <i>The Age of Adaline</i>: 1) I'm so used to hearing Huisman in other softer accents (on<i> Game of Thrones, Nashville</i> and <i>Orphan Black</i>) that I was not feeling the grating "American voice" he settled on for this role, 2) while there were hints at something deeper (bursting into another language, dominating at Trivial Pursuit), I was left wanting to know more about Adaline's past, and 3) the ending was totally cheeserrific. Not in a film-ruining way, but in a "did they really have to be <i>that</i> cheesy?" way. <br />
<br />
Regardless, I would still recommend <i>The Age of Adaline </i>because it pleasantly surprised me and passed my test of getting me to think about things that will never happen to me. (What? You thought I was still 29? Why thank you, and you go on and have yourself a <i>fantastic</i> weekend.)<br />
<br />Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-44171029170271576022015-04-07T11:53:00.002-05:002015-04-07T11:55:10.365-05:00Great Customer Service: FitbitThe update on <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2015/04/feeling-naked-when-youre-not.html" target="_blank">yesterday's Fitbit Fail situation</a> is that there's good news and bad news. The bad news is that my Fitbit One is indeed dead. The good news is that since I only bought it in mid-January, it's under warranty and they're going to send me a new one.<br />
<br />
The even better news is that I didn't have to pull teeth to make this happen. I had a very short online chat with a customer service rep who had me try to sync my device after I explained to her what happened. The sync wouldn't work.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iKUu5wBYcSc/VSQKy3bdPYI/AAAAAAAAOaE/bvJArT2NzuY/s1600/FitbitFail.tiff" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Yeah, and it's a BIG problem, people." border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iKUu5wBYcSc/VSQKy3bdPYI/AAAAAAAAOaE/bvJArT2NzuY/s1600/FitbitFail.tiff" height="295" title="Yeah, and it's a BIG problem, people." width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
And... that was it. I got an email asking for my shipping address and a screenshot of my order details from Amazon. A new Fitbit One should be on its way to me shortly, and it doesn't even seem like they're going to make me go through the annoying task of sending the defunct one bad, which I LOVE.<br />
<br />
I asked the rep if there was a known issue with One's flaking out after only a few months, but she said there wasn't, so I'm going to cross my fingers that the new one isn't a dud.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, I'm still feeling uneasy without anything tracking my steps. And I don't like touching my waist and not being able to feel my little fitness friend right there by my side. This must be how Tom Hanks felt when he lost Wilson.<br />
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I'm Sorry, Wilson!
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Cast Away
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<br />
Yep. It's <i>exactly</i> like that.<br />
<br />
- eErika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-8454621928283431802015-04-06T13:54:00.004-05:002015-04-06T13:54:57.905-05:00Feeling Naked When You're NotAt around 11:30 this afternoon, I went to the kitchen to get a snack and absentmindedly hit my Fitbit button to see how many steps I'd logged so far.<br />
<br />
"0," it glared back at me.<br />
<br />
I frantically hit the button again and cycled through all of the categories. Everything was showing a big fat zero: steps, calories, stairs, the works.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>What was happening?!?</i><br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iW7ErP5E6V0/VSLVpddRUsI/AAAAAAAAOZw/QvDPEXmjwD4/s1600/forgotfitbit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way." border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iW7ErP5E6V0/VSLVpddRUsI/AAAAAAAAOZw/QvDPEXmjwD4/s1600/forgotfitbit.jpg" height="320" title="Apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way." width="320" /></a>I forgot all about eating and ran to plug the little guy into my laptop. I searched the Help section of Fitbit's site to see what to do. A reboot was suggested. I tried it and then jogged around the floor again. Still nothing but zeroes.<br />
<br />
Another reboot. And another. It's just not working.<br />
<br />
Fitbit's customer service wasn't online, so I sent them an email and am impatiently waiting to hear back. In the meantime, I've left my Fitbit plugged into my laptop so that it can fully charge, and I'm hoping for a miracle.<br />
<br />
I've only had this thing for a few months, so it's amazing that I am COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT without it on. I feel naked without it, and every step I take that it doesn't track seems like a travesty.<br />
<br />
Anyone who has a smart phone has felt this same way when they've either forgotten to bring it with them or otherwise misplaced it for a while. We're like trained animals with this stuff, I swear. But with the Fitbit it's even stranger because I feel like any exercise I get while it's off somehow doesn't matter or doesn't count, when clearly it does. A lot of the things I do at the gym are way better workouts than walking is, and the Fitbit I have (the One) doesn't even track that stuff anyway. But for whatever reason, not having it on and not having it working are causing me to meltdown nonetheless.<br />
<br />
Pray for a quick resolution, for my sanity's sake!<br />
<br />
- e<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-27171719463346739872015-04-03T10:48:00.000-05:002015-04-03T10:48:26.229-05:00Tax Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fXXnmjXMUwU/VR6zv7uyiuI/AAAAAAAAOZU/qGTYEjsbo68/s1600/tax-time.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="It's go time." border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fXXnmjXMUwU/VR6zv7uyiuI/AAAAAAAAOZU/qGTYEjsbo68/s1600/tax-time.jpg" height="236" title="It's go time." width="320" /></a></div>
So yesterday I did something I've never done in all of my years of either preparing my own taxes or getting the files and forms together for our accountant: I pulled everything together in one day.<br />
<br />
Granted, I had been keeping all tax-related documents in a folder as things were mailed to us over the last few months, but that's not really what I'm talking about. I'm talking about all of those other random and not-so-random last-minute things you realize you need when tax time rolls around. That includes completing the entire year's profit and loss statement for my writing business. Each year I swear that I'm going to keep my LLC's income and expense spreadsheet current. I vow to fill in what I get paid and what writing-related costs I incur on a rolling basis each month so that I don't have to scramble in April. And then I promptly forget about it (or am just too lazy to do it) as soon as the taxes are filed.<br />
<br />
Since my 2014 situation was not that complicated, I was able to complete my spreadsheet in a matter of a few hours. It's always fun to go back through the year and be reminded of which movies I took cabs to versus drove to (cash expenses versus credit-card parking expenses!)—what's even more fun is when a movie was so blah that I cannot even remember what it was about. D'oh.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I got everything done and made it over to our accountant's office 30 minutes before they closed for the day. (I used to LOVE doing our taxes on my own, but once I created an LLC I got too nervous I would screw something up.)<br />
<br />
There was another guy dropping his packet of forms off at the same time. We went down the stairs afterward together and he said, "It feels good to have the ball be in their court now, doesn't it?"<br />
<br />
Yes, yes it does.<br />
<br />
- eErika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-34011930540078040112015-04-02T10:22:00.001-05:002015-04-02T10:22:35.535-05:00Something I'll Never BuyA few weeks ago I was enjoying a walk down by Lake Michigan when a strange contraption whizzed by me: the Elliptigo. I immediately <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2015/02/to-me-from-me.html" target="_blank">emailed myself</a> to remember to look into it later, and today's the day I finally did.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rvzXLSXii24/VR1dY1hIdyI/AAAAAAAAOZE/pLsQhNINrrQ/s1600/eliptigo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="This is not the dude I saw." border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rvzXLSXii24/VR1dY1hIdyI/AAAAAAAAOZE/pLsQhNINrrQ/s1600/eliptigo.jpg" title="This is not the dude I saw." width="560" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Technically it's written as the <a href="http://www.elliptigo.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ElliptiGO</a>... so there's that. My favorite machine at the gym is the Elliptical, so I admit I was curious about this mobile version. For poor souls like me who just can't handle high-impact exercise like jogging, I've found the Elliptical to be the best way to work up a sweat and burn calories without feeling like you've angered the Knee Gods the next morning.<br />
<br />
But the cheapest ElliptiGO model costs $1,800.<br />
<br />
?!?!<br />
<br />
So I will not be buying one. In convincing myself not to be sad about this, here's what I came up with:<br />
<ul>
<li>I wouldn't be able to use it at all between December and March thanks to bad weather in Chicago. (Well, technically it looks like you CAN use it inside with some sort of stationary adjustment that's of course like $500 more, but you get my point.)</li>
<li>I'd need to store it somewhere and we don't have a garage or any place it would be protected from the elements.</li>
<li>I already pay for membership at a gym across the street that has Elliptical machines.</li>
<li>If I really wanted to be able to both exercise and go greater distances faster than I could by just walking, I could a) ride my husband's bike or b) buy a bike of my own for a lot less than $1,800.</li>
<li>It looks kinda silly and calls attention to whomever's riding it, and I like to keep a low profile—especially when I'm exercising. I won't even do any group classes because I 'm so horrified by the thought of someone watching me work out, so riding some beast machine down the jogging path that's the equivalent of blaring "LOOK AT ME" over loudspeakers is kind of my worst nightmare.</li>
<li>Again, it's $1,800 (without tax or shipping, I assume).</li>
</ul>
<br />
There. Now I feel better about never being an ElliptiGO owner. I do wish I had a normal Elliptical in my place so that I wouldn't even have to go to the gym. God forbid I have to walk two blocks to exercise!<br />
<br />
- eErika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-33131214146943308172015-04-01T10:37:00.001-05:002015-04-01T10:40:14.089-05:00No FoolingAh, April Fools' Day. A day that I don't necessarily mind, as long as the pranks are happening to someone else. For example, if anyone pulled <a href="http://abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kimmel-live/news/editors-picks/20150331-april-fools-youtube-challenge-hey-jimmy-kimmel-i-did-nothing-to-the-coffee" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this Jimmy Kimmel stunt</a> on me while I had my first sip of tea in the morning, things would end badly. (Seriously, all I can imagine is scalding liquids being spilled and thrown on innocent people. Not cool.)<br />
<br />
What I do enjoy, however, is seeing how creative or otherwise into it some companies get. Take Uber, for example. I received this email at 7:30 a.m., which I actually bought for a few seconds until I read the hilarious quote at the end. I just assumed SkyMall was takin' it to the streets, so to speak.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qtc0c-Flq3I/VRwJ9xvqQgI/AAAAAAAAOYQ/vzyFbd2HhEI/s1600/CarShop1.tiff" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Three-person Slanket -- sign me up!" border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qtc0c-Flq3I/VRwJ9xvqQgI/AAAAAAAAOYQ/vzyFbd2HhEI/s1600/CarShop1.tiff" title="Three-person Slanket -- sign me up!" width="560" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XFR4sJKQfBI/VRwJ-WSFJuI/AAAAAAAAOYc/RgnwmyEVFqo/s1600/CarShop2.tiff" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Best quote ever?" border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XFR4sJKQfBI/VRwJ-WSFJuI/AAAAAAAAOYc/RgnwmyEVFqo/s1600/CarShop2.tiff" title="Best quote ever?" width="560" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I actually clicked on the video and was even more impressed. The Shoulder Selfie Camera made me laugh out loud. (And you know some people out there actually want one.)<br />
<br />
<center>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bECYvHkDrMo" width="560"></iframe></center>
<br />
That's some serious effort.<br />
<br />
But wait, there's more! They actually created <a href="http://issuu.com/ubermo/docs/ubercarshop?e=16507317/12100462" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">a SkyMall-like catalog</a>. Would you be interested in the blanket of human hair? Or perhaps the Signed and Framed Photo from an Out-of-Work Actor?<br />
<br />
If you are in need of a laugh, flip through the whole thing. The best part is there's no mention anywhere that it's a gag.<br />
<br />
My longtime freelance employer, Redbox, pulled a great one today as well with <a href="http://www.redbox.com/petbox" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Petbox</a>. At first I thought it was just a bunch of already-existing animal-centric films, but then I looked a bit closer...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NgAEVPjf-js/VRwJ-WF5MPI/AAAAAAAAOYU/FexxYpfcIiM/s1600/Petbox1.tiff" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Hollywood needs to make Gone Squirrel happen." border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NgAEVPjf-js/VRwJ-WF5MPI/AAAAAAAAOYU/FexxYpfcIiM/s1600/Petbox1.tiff" title="Hollywood needs to make Gone Squirrel happen." width="560" /></a></div>
<br />
Once you scroll down past "the fold," as we Web people say, you'll see that they fess up--and provide a little April Fools' Day bonus. My favorites are <i>Gone Squirrel, Fox Catcher</i> and <i>Fifty Shades of Greyhound</i>.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Kko0QCv4fY8/VRwJ-6ApQ7I/AAAAAAAAOYk/xC5vigyhWZs/s1600/Petbox2.tiff" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Actually, all of these need to happen." border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Kko0QCv4fY8/VRwJ-6ApQ7I/AAAAAAAAOYk/xC5vigyhWZs/s1600/Petbox2.tiff" title="Actually, all of these need to happen." width="560" /></a></div>
<br />
It's only a few hours into the day, so I'm sure there will be some other great pranks to come. As long as I'm not the unwitting target, it's all good.<br />
<br />
- e<br />
<br />Erika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-50622736642102074112015-03-31T11:51:00.001-05:002015-03-31T11:51:44.867-05:00Reality Bites.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zeBQYFkG6Z0/VRrL_SnGogI/AAAAAAAAOXg/-uB6Sl5T3FU/s1600/EandDesCubsSTGame2015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Go, Cubs, go! (They actually won, too!)" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zeBQYFkG6Z0/VRrL_SnGogI/AAAAAAAAOXg/-uB6Sl5T3FU/s1600/EandDesCubsSTGame2015.jpg" height="320" title="Go, Cubs, go! (They actually won, too!)" width="320" /></a></div>
It's been three weeks since I last posted, but I only have a legitimate excuse for about two of those weeks. If you're connected to me on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/erikaolson" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Facebook</a>, <a href="http://www.twitter.com/erikaolson" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Twitter</a> or <a href="http://www.instagram.com/erikasolson#" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, you know that we were in Arizona (to visit my in-laws as well as go to a Cubs Spring Training game) and then flew from there to L.A. for a trip to Disneyland. Then this past weekend we drove to Michigan to help celebrate my grandma's 91st birthday.<br />
<br />
All of that travel caused three things to happen before and after we left.<br />
<br />
1) In advance of our trip, I worked like a maniac to get writing for clients, various errands (like doctor's appointments for both myself and Desmond) and other To Do items checked off of my list. We threw the Disney excursion together at the very last minute and I knew it wasn't going to happen again for a while, so I wanted absolutely nothing on my plate or hanging over my head while we were there. This is my (admittedly not totally great) excuse for not blogging in the days leading up to our departure for Arizona.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RdxrAzRtNy8/VRrL_bLrWuI/AAAAAAAAOXk/8V5wkyQjguk/s1600/EDisneyIceCreamSelfie2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="My own personal Disney tradition." border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RdxrAzRtNy8/VRrL_bLrWuI/AAAAAAAAOXk/8V5wkyQjguk/s1600/EDisneyIceCreamSelfie2015.JPG" height="320" title="My own personal Disney tradition." width="320" /></a>2) The time off was the best. Seriously, it couldn't have been any better. I will definitely be writing about everything we did very soon. But part of the reason I couldn't bring myself to sit down and crank out any posts over the past three weekdays I've been home is because I'd already been sitting <i>so much</i> during the trip. As in, twelve hours crammed in the back seat of our tiny Volt this past weekend going to and from Michigan, three hours on the flight to Arizona, five hours on the return flight from L.A., all of the time in the car getting to and from airports, and so on. The last thing I wanted to do was sit after we got home. I even chose to do hours and hours of laundry over booting up my laptop, if that tells you something.<br />
<br />
3) Since we returned, I've been in a complete and total funk. Hence the title of this post. Now, this kind of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-vacation_blues" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">post-vacation depression</a> almost always happens when I get back from a great trip. So I was expecting it to some degree. But this time it seems worse. Perhaps it was because we were at The Happiest Place on Earth™, so being back in the dismal not-really-spring-yet Chicago weather was an ever bigger letdown then it would've been coming back from anywhere else. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2Lcp9CVcUcc/VRrMAK2xSyI/AAAAAAAAOX0/HomY7p9L-cs/s1600/postvacationblues.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Sing it, brah" border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2Lcp9CVcUcc/VRrMAK2xSyI/AAAAAAAAOX0/HomY7p9L-cs/s1600/postvacationblues.jpg" height="272" title="Sing it, brah" width="320" /></a>Maybe it's because we had such an extraordinary time. Maybe it's because real life was pretty much on hold while we were away. Maybe it's because I had the first true, honest-to-god-no-work-AT-ALL vacation since 2008 and I really, really needed it. Maybe it's because when I got back, I could no longer ignore a few major professional and personal situations that have me really bummed out and in denial. Maybe it's because even though there are many things we're doing over the next few months that I'm excited about, we don't have any other vacations planned. (Remember how <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-importance-of-having-plans.html" target="_blank">I always need something big to look forward to</a>?)<br />
<br />
So what did I do? We got back late Wednesday night, and on Thursday I had the aforementioned Day Of Laundry. I went through mail, cleaned our place, and did everything I could to avoid opening my laptop. I had every intention to get back to work on Friday.<br />
<br />
But then Friday morning hit, and I still couldn't bring myself to accept reality. By this point I did have to do some client work, but in my head I guess I felt like if I didn't go back to my usual routine of doing a personal blog post in the morning then I wasn't really <i>back</i> back. Plus, I had to get things ready to leave again on Saturday morning, I wanted to go to the gym, we didn't have any food at home so I took that as an opportunity to go out to eat, et cetera, et cetera. I would <i>totally</i> be rarin' to go again on Monday. For sure. Because, I mean, it would be Monday and that's a perfect day to start fresh again.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4xJsTLabuhA/VRrL_eLytfI/AAAAAAAAOXc/157IM-zHPjk/s1600/EandGoofy2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="I mean come on. THE BEST!" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4xJsTLabuhA/VRrL_eLytfI/AAAAAAAAOXc/157IM-zHPjk/s1600/EandGoofy2015.JPG" height="320" title="I mean come on. THE BEST!" width="320" /></a>So we went to Michigan and back over the weekend, and then on Sunday night in my head I was like, "OK, I'm going to watch <i>The Walking Dead </i>finale and then that will also represent the finale of these past few weeks of goofing off and then tomorrow I am totally going to get serious again."<br />
<br />
Except that yesterday came and I was even more down in the dumps than before. I did a bunch of client work, but still couldn't bring myself to log in to Blogger. By the time it hit 3 p.m. I couldn't sit still anymore. It was halfway decent out, so I justified a long walk around my neighborhood.<br />
<br />
I was about 30 minutes into that brisk walk when the tears started coming. Was it because I finally had to accept that play time was over? Was it me coming to terms with the crappy work and personal stuff that's going on? Was it the fact that "Run" by Collective Soul came on my Spotify mix? Who knows, but I decided I was just going to let myself have a pity party right there in the middle of Lincoln Park and be done with it. I turned down a residential side street and had a good cry and felt a million times better.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6rbXd8YW4VU/VRrMAqemvtI/AAAAAAAAOXw/uO58xZmyaYc/s1600/welcometoreality.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Yup." border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6rbXd8YW4VU/VRrMAqemvtI/AAAAAAAAOXw/uO58xZmyaYc/s1600/welcometoreality.jpg" height="221" title="Yup." width="320" /></a>Right or wrong, I am the kind of person who doesn't have much patience for anyone who's acting all "poor me" when they don't have something <i>serious</i> to be down about. I am especially hard on myself whenever I feel blue because I know I have a great life and so many things to be thankful for. I mean, being sad that you're back from Disneyland is like THE number one <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23firstworldproblems&src=tyah" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">#FirstWorldProblem</a>, am I right? (There truly is more to it than that, but you get my point.) <br />
<br />
But a wise friend told me yesterday that I was human, I am being faced with real challenges (the work and personal ones I alluded to, <i>not</i> the post-Disneyland-blues, obviously) and that I was allowed to feel the way I was feeling. And that helped. So did the cry during my walk. So did watching <i>Better Call Saul</i> last night. So is the promise of seeing something mega-silly like <i>Furious 7</i> tonight. The dreary weather today is NOT helping (hence <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2011/03/here-comes-artificial-sun.html" target="_blank">the SAD lamp</a> is cranking as I write this), but warmer temperatures are ahead, and so is a brighter outlook on my part. "Pity, Party of One" has had its time, but now I need to smack myself upside the head and start acting like an adult again.<br />
<br />
And what could be MORE adult than this: actually looking forward to spending the majority of the day tomorrow pulling together everything needed to complete our 2014 taxes. Yes, I am one of those dorks who enjoys tax season. It's no Disneyland, but it'll have to do.<br />
<br />
- eErika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-67154022695319870962015-03-10T16:59:00.004-05:002015-03-10T16:59:46.783-05:00Good Day SunshineAround 3:15 today I realized something with a shock: I had completely forgotten about posting today.<br />
<br />
At that point in time I was heading back home from a 2-hour-long, 10,000+ step (thanks, FitBit) walk along Lake Michigan, which is one of my favorite things in the world to do.<br />
<br />
Yesterday was the first time in 2015 that I ventured out for a walk rather than hiding from the cold in the gym. But today was even warmer ("warm" in Chicago = 45 degrees) and sunnier and I'd gotten all of my client work done so I decided to go for a really, <i>really</i> long hike.<br />
<br />
Around this time of the year, it's more of an adventure than anything. I have to wear my ugly brown waterproof New Balances, I need to make peace with the fact that my pants will have lines of mud splayed up the back by the time I get home, I need to jump over huge puddles, constantly keep my eyes peeled for mounds of goose poop, and leap from boulder to boulder when I'm on some more precarious parts of the mostly-still-snowed-over path closest to the water.<br />
<br />
But I have a ton of fun. Today I went down to the beachfront, which does not look like beachfront. I actually don't know what this looks like. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5EePxk0JDEM/VP9ovxAFBJI/AAAAAAAAOV8/nyW-c5O94u4/s1600/BeachinMarch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Not bathing suit ready just yet." border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5EePxk0JDEM/VP9ovxAFBJI/AAAAAAAAOV8/nyW-c5O94u4/s1600/BeachinMarch.jpg" title="Not bathing suit ready just yet." width="560" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Cracked, dry desert? Tundra? Rotting sand dunes? Small mountains? Modern art?<br />
<br />
I nearly killed myself climbing up the tallest hill to get this shot and I'm not sure the effort was worth it. But the walk was. And I still got my post done!<br />
<br />
- eErika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-386546733450039312015-03-09T11:42:00.000-05:002015-03-09T11:42:04.338-05:00What is Your "Claim to Fame"?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q9OxayLMOeo/VP3LeeC0sSI/AAAAAAAAOVg/_VZoYi_Ew8o/s1600/No-Coffee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Yick." border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q9OxayLMOeo/VP3LeeC0sSI/AAAAAAAAOVg/_VZoYi_Ew8o/s1600/No-Coffee.jpg" title="Yick." /></a></div>
Do you have something that you consider to be your "claim to fame"? Longtime readers of this blog might remember that back in 2008 I wrote about how up until that point, <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2008/05/does-this-count-as-taco-you-be-judge.html" target="_blank">I'd never eaten a taco</a>. I was wondering if a thing I had while on vacation in Mexico finally qualified. (The consensus was that it did.)<br />
<br />
I still use the "Madonna went to my high school" tidbit referenced in that same post whenever I'm in a situation that requires an "interesting fact about you." But my other go-to statement that tends to shock people is that I've never had coffee. As in, I've never even tried it. Not one sip. This seems to blow a lot of people's minds. Apparently even those who don't consider themselves to be coffee drinkers have at least <i>tried</i> the stuff at some point. <br />
<br />
But not me. Not even coffee-flavored ice cream. Not even one of those fancy drinks at Starbucks that has a ton of other stuff in it along with a tiny bit of coffee. NO COFFEE.<br />
<br />
There's no reason for this except that I think even the smell of coffee is gross. I know there are people who can't get up in the morning unless they smell a freshly brewed pot of joe wafting through their house. That's something <b><i>I</i></b> don't understand.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QBuKfSbp278/VP3LiM7EhUI/AAAAAAAAOVo/siI8ywz2xLY/s1600/no-coffee-theres-no-coffee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Know anyone like this?" border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QBuKfSbp278/VP3LiM7EhUI/AAAAAAAAOVo/siI8ywz2xLY/s1600/no-coffee-theres-no-coffee.jpg" height="320" title="Know anyone like this?" width="300" /></a>I'm a tea girl, but even with that I'm not too extreme. I have one big mug of Earl Grey each morning and that's it. I'm not too happy if something causes me to have to skip that mug, but I don't transform into a terrible beast in search of caffeine, either.<br />
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My husband actually drinks neither. He'll have a bowl of cereal in the morning or a banana or something, but no caffeine. (He will drink coffee or an espresso at restaurants every now and then, though, so he can't steal my no-coffee-ever-whatsoever thunder.)<br />
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I'm curious to see if anyone else has one of these claims to fame that they're oddly proud of—something that seems to truly surprise people? <br />
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- eErika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26412800.post-37559224636282312472015-03-06T14:38:00.000-06:002015-03-06T14:38:00.674-06:00The Problem with Reminders<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NX-lRtzac8c/VPoLOdVMLuI/AAAAAAAAOU4/AVeQYUWD1xE/s1600/fox_ribbon_sized.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Of course I picked a fox graphic" border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NX-lRtzac8c/VPoLOdVMLuI/AAAAAAAAOU4/AVeQYUWD1xE/s1600/fox_ribbon_sized.png" title="Of course I picked a fox graphic" /></a></div>
Last month I wrote about <a href="http://according-to-e.blogspot.com/2015/02/to-me-from-me.html" target="_blank">the four methods</a> I use to help me remember stuff. But I didn't mention the ridiculous lengths I go to in order to remind my husband to do <i>one</i> simple thing almost every single day.<br />
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Here's the situation: We bought the three condos in our building with the intention of one day converting them into a single home. But right now, and for the next few years at least, we have these three separate condo units with separate kitchens, separate entrances, and separate electric and gas bills.<br />
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My husband goes to our top floor pretty much every night to work on his music. When he's not up there, we want to keep the thermostat waaay down—warm enough so that the pipes won't freeze, but low enough so that our heating bills don't bankrupt us. We do the same thing for our second level, which is where I work during business hours on the weekdays. Each morning I crank up the heat, and each day when I'm done I turn it back to 55. This practice is second nature to me now. I don't even have to think about it. I never forget to do it.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eQhqHi_cjkM/VPoLQQSn1dI/AAAAAAAAOVI/8mx5qe5lkzg/s1600/DoorReminder.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="If not, turn around, climb back up 3 flights and DO IT" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eQhqHi_cjkM/VPoLQQSn1dI/AAAAAAAAOVI/8mx5qe5lkzg/s1600/DoorReminder.JPG" height="320" title="If not, turn around, climb back up 3 flights and DO IT" width="240" /></a>Unfortunately my husband hasn't made the "turning down of the heat" a routine yet. When we were hitting a total of $700 per month in gas bills across the three units, I totally spazzed out at him and found many creative ways to yell, "WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO REMEMBER TO TURN DOWN THE HEAT?!?!"<br />
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But nothing I did worked. I'd go up to the third floor before I'd start my day and dammit if it wasn't warm and toasty up there, meaning that the furnace had been cranking nonstop throughout the night for absolutely no reason.<br />
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So then I started putting signs at his eye level on both the door our of the third-floor condo and the door at the end of our stairwell, thinking that would HAVE to work because he'd pass both on his way back downstairs. And it did for about a week. But then even those reminders failed and I'd find the thermostat at 70 in the morning.<br />
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I would email him before I knew he was coming down. I would call him. I would text him. Nothing was able to drive it into his head permanently.<br />
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My latest tactic is that I've taped a sign right onto the handle of the door he'll go out of so that it's really in his way. But honestly I still don't have faith that this is a permanent solution.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BLil-nsfqIs/VPoLPVhXOjI/AAAAAAAAOVA/O4-xXUbbNLg/s1600/KnobReminder.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BLil-nsfqIs/VPoLPVhXOjI/AAAAAAAAOVA/O4-xXUbbNLg/s1600/KnobReminder.JPG" height="320" title="FOR THE LOVE OF GOD" width="240" /></a>And then today I realized that he's become dependent on all of the nightly reminders I would text and email him to the point that he's ignoring the signs I've hung. He's not even consciously registering them. This notion hit me because I saw some article online about how "spring forward" is this weekend, and I had to laugh because I NEVER remember when the spring forward/fall back dates are on my own because for whatever reason, my mom still emails me reminders about turning our clocks to the right time on the day we're supposed to do this. If my mom stopped reminding me, I would be lost. I've become dependent on those messages twice a year.<br />
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So now I really don't know what to do to get my husband to internalize this heating-bill issue. If you're wondering why the aforementioned $700 wasn't enough, it's because I'm the one who actually pays our bills and manages the finances, so it's not front and center in his life. He's not "going without" because of that extra expense. He definitely does realize this is a huge problem and that it's solely his fault, yet he's just not putting those thoughts into repeatable actions every night.<br />
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Will publicly shaming him on the Internet like this do the trick? Stay tuned for next month's bill totals to find out! And does anyone else out there have an issue like this? Misery loves company...<br />
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- eErika (aka "e")http://www.blogger.com/profile/17051946388926947935noreply@blogger.com3