Hey, I would want to hide, too.

Sorry that I have been MIA (much like Suri Cruise) for a while - it was a hectic week and I was traveling over the weekend, so that always throws a wrench into things.

It is high time to talk about a big mystery that is captivating the nation - where is baby Cruise? As you all know, I am not a fan of this baby's father. There will one day be a post dedicated solely to him and his crazy ways. I was shocked to read that Mr. Freaky-Deeky himself was HERE in Chicago this past weekend. Good thing I wasn't in town - things could've gotten ugly!

But for now, we must turn our attention to little (supposedly) Suri Cruise. The baby that Tom could not stop talking about BEFORE it was born has now arrived - - - yet months later, no one has seen this child.

As in, no one.

The birth certificate was filed, but skeptics are picking it apart. Something that really jumped out at me (after reading the dissection of the certificate in various magazines) is that the doctor who (allegedly) delivered the baby did not sign the certificate. A nurse, who was not in the delivery room, signed it in his place (she is authorized to do so, though). They also filed it 20 days after the birth, rather than within the typically-required 10 day limit. And no one knows who the "friend" is who signed as the witness on the certificate - the signature is not legible.

Strange things are afoot ("... at the Circle K"), no doubt.

So what do I think? I honestly don't know what to think. Some people do not even believe there is a baby - they are confident that the whole thing is a scam and that the Cruise posse is searching, as I write this, to find a baby that looks like Katie or Tom to play the role of Suri.

Tom IS that crazy, for sure. But seeing the pictures of Katie during her pregnancy... it's not like she just had a growing stomach and everything else remained the same. Her face and arms put on weight, and I don't think you can just fake that. Gaining weight from overeating is not the same as gaining weight from being pregnant, from what I have seen. While I DO think the entire marriage is a sham and I'm not confident that the baby is actually Tom's (those topics will get their own posts in the future), I don't think they went so far as to fake a pregnancy and birth.

Which still leaves the question: Where is Suri, then?

The part of me that still always tries to find good in each person (despite all evidence to the contrary) hopes that maybe they are just trying to keep this poor child out of the spotlight for as long as possible. Tom's two other children, Isabella and Connor, were mostly shielded from the paparazzi until just recently. Some think that keeping the baby away from photogs may be an extension of Scientology beliefs (similar to the silent birth concept: keeping the baby in a calm atmosphere as much as possible).

However, the cynical side of me says that they are just holding out for a mega-bucks offer for pictures of Suri. I had read that Tom was mad that pictures of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt went for over $4 million, while offers on Suri pictures did not surpass $3 million. Yes, I realize that the previous sentence really makes you question the sanity of mankind.

So I think that by continuing to create this mystery around Suri, Tom thinks that he will succeed in upping the price that magazines would pay for a Suri photo spread.


Others beg to differ.

Regardless of the real reasons behind Suri's absence from the spotlight, one thing is certain - it's not helping Tom's already-suffering image.

The last thing I will say on this topic, for now, is that let's all just hope that for the sake of this baby, if she IS real, she is not being watched over by this woman.

- e