Home Depot: You Can Have A Nervous Breakdown, We Can Help

Although I thought this was impossible, my hatred for Home Depot has in fact grown.

As some of you may recall, I had a bad experience with Home Depot when the lower level of my condo flooded a few months ago. Surely you haven't already forgotten B 4 Real, the employee who tried to "help" me, but failed miserably? I have avoided the store ever since.

But the time has come for me to do something about my ailing water heater. It is hissing and wheezing and I know it's just a matter of time before it gives out. Since I don't have a car and since there are hardly any places in the city that I can turn to for a water heater replacement, I reluctantly called Home Depot after researching what model I would need. My husband had gotten some paperwork from our local store about how they can do same-day delivery of water heaters, completely take care of draining and hauling away your old one and installing and testing your new one... and on and on and on. Oh, how wonderfully easy this would be, they promised.

WHY I keep falling for these ruses, I haven't a clue. But I called the number and was connected to Kimberly, who sounded nice enough. We went through her whole script, and everything was going swimmingly. Hope started to creep its way through my body - could I actually have a painless experience with Home Depot?

No, I couldn't. We got to the part where Kimberly had to look to see if the model I wanted was in stock at the store closest to my place. It wasn't. She said that she would check with other Chicago-based locations to see if they had any, and put me on hold. I did the same thing she was doing - I checked online. There was another location not too far from my place that had what I was looking for.

She came back on and confirmed what I had already discovered myself. But then she said, "And I just need to tell you that there's going to be a $50 trip fee for going through this store."

Me: What?
Kimberly: Ummm, there's going to be a $50 trip fee since it wasn't in stock at your local store.
Me: What? That doesn't make any sense. Are you saying that if I had simply told you another store that had the water heater in stock was my "local store," there wouldn't be the trip fee? So I should call back and get someone else and tell them that the other location is my local store?
Kimberly: Hmmmm, I'm not sure, let me check with my supervisor.

I waited. In a few minutes, she came back on.

Kimberly: OK, so the trip fee is because our installer doesn't have it in stock, it doesn't matter which store you go through... the installer has to go pick it up from the store, so that's $50.

Pause.
Pause.
Deep breaths, e, deep breaths!

Me: So, let me get this straight... I'm ordering this water heater from you guys - Home Depot. And I'm going to pay an installer, selected by you guys, hundreds of dollars to come install it. And the water heater I want is in stock at a local Home Depot store, which is who I'm buying it from. But since your selected installer doesn't have it in stock at THEIR warehouse, I have to pay $50 for them to come get it from you?
Kimberly: Yes, that's what the trip fee is.

I can always tell when I get REALLY agitated, because my dog must sense it in the air and he wakes up from his deep slumber on his dog bed and walks across the room to come stare at me like, "Calm down, mom! You're gonna blow!"

Me: OK, so... and Kimberly, I realize that you don't make the rules and that this isn't your fault, but can you see why that makes no sense? Why would the installer ever have ANY incentive to stock your items if they get $50 for driving over to your store? That is bad inventory management and bad contractor management and that shouldn't be something I have to pay for. And I know gas is expensive, but it does NOT cost $50 to drive across town! Do you see why I'm upset? Do you see why I don't understand why I should have to pay $50 on top of the $700 I'm already going to pay for the water heater and the installation? This is crazy!!!
Kimberly: I see what you're saying. Let me talk to my supervisor again and see if I can get the fee waived or if there's something else we can do.

I'm put back on hold. The worst part about the hold music is that it's the Home Depot music with some guy assuredly reminding you over and over again that "You can do it, we can help!" He lies, he lies!!!!

Kimberly clicks back over. I hold my breath...

Kimberly: Um, yes, ummm.... my supervisor says that the way around the trip fee is to come pick up the water heater yourself from our store.

CLASSIC.

I didn't check a mirror, but I knew my face was beet red. My dog backed away from me; there was nothing he could do for me now.

Me: OK, Kimberly, well, thanks for checking into this. Once again, I know you've tried here, but... since I DON'T HAVE A CAR it's really not going to help for me to pay for a rental car and come get the water heater - it kind of defeats the whole purpose of why I'm calling you guys in the first place - I don't have a car and I'm not handy, so I needed help. But I'm not going to order the water heater now because of this ridiculous fee.
Kimberly: I'm sorry.

She sounded genuinely sad. But I was genuinely beside myself with anger as I hung up. What a scam! And no, it's NOT about the $50 itself to me, it's about the principal of the fee, or lack thereof.

Later on I was telling my dad about this latest Home Depot debacle. We decided that Home Depot shall now be referred to as Home Depoop.

And so it shall be.

- e

Rain, Rain Go Away!

Yesterday, I took a break during lunch and walked to a nearby gardener's market to pick up some flower bouquets. It was hot and muggy, and partially cloudy - but overall, it was a nice day outside (remember: I LOVE the heat!). The Man does not provide me with a window in my office - so I just assumed that the weather remained kind of sunny for the rest of the day.

But I was mistaken. There were flash floods in the Chicago area for a few hours in the late afternoon, as I learned when my friend came to pick me up from work to go to dinner. After a nice meal, I took a cab home and immediately knew something was wrong as I walked toward my place.

EVERY SINGLE owner of a condo on my block was standing outside, and many were crowded around a guy wearing a Department of Water Management uniform.

Uh-oh.

I busted through our front door and yelled to see if my husband (who had been home for at least an hour) had bothered to look downstairs. "No, why?" was the reply. I hurriedly explained that everyone's place on our street had flooded... and then we both went downstairs, bracing for the worst. At first, all seemed to be well. There was nothing we could SEE that was wrong. I made my way to the back guest room, while my husband inspected the front room.

"YEP, there's something!" he hollered and I ran to join him. He was walking around on our carpet near the furnace room, and I could hear a sloshing sound with each step. We opened the furnace closet door and lo and behold, there was a dirty brown mess of dried up water all over the floor. Awwwww, CRAP!!!!

Needless to say, Tuesday night sucked. There were essentially two rectangles of damage - one in the back-half of our TV room (luckily all furniture was spared) and the other down our hallway. We spent hours pulling up the carpeting, peeling off the sopping wet padding and throwing it away, and then draping the carpet over various folding tables and chairs to get the airing-out process started. We bought two extra fans from Walgreens, bringing us to a total of four fans strategically placed to blow over the most carpet possible. The dehumidifier was set to run non-stop, the air conditioning was also turned to run constantly, and we called it a (late) night.

The morning alarm came waaaaay too early. I had an 8:30 meeting where all of my fellow employees looked at me with pity as I explained my plight. Which of course comes on the heels of my kitchen being flooded just over a month ago. TO ALL THOSE WHO DO NOT OWN A PLACE - keep renting! You will miss the building's repair man when you don't have one at your beck and call anymore!!!!

After putting in some more time for The Man, I called a friend whose place flooded last night, too (the third time she's had to deal this situation). She recommended a carpet company for me to call to see if they would put down new padding and re-lay the carpet. I called them, while my husband called Home Depot. My husband reported back that Home Depot wouldn't re-lay "damaged" carpeting. The place my friend recommended took down all my information and said they'd call back. I wasn't holding my breath.

I then decided to try Home Depot myself. Someone who sounded half-dead answered the phone. I explained the situation, and then she said, "Lemmetransferyoutothacarpetspecialist."

Hold music, hold music.

Finally a young man picked up.

"HELLO???" he yelled, accusingly but yet disinterestedly.

"Ummm... is this the carpet specialist?"
"It is."
"Who is it that I'm speaking with?"
"Be for real."
"What? I mean, what is your name?"
"My name is B 4 Real, ma'am."

Pause.


WHOA.

I then proceeded to tell B 4 Real my problem, but I have to admit, it is REALLY hard to expect that you're going to be given great service by a guy named B 4 Real, much like it's hard to take him seriously. He immediately cut me off and said, "We don't do that. We don't touch carpet that's already had wear and tear. You can buy NEW carpet, though..."

Of course. They want you to spend thousands when all the carpet needs is a steam cleaning...

"I don't get it - my friend's done this three times."
"Done what?"
"Had her same carpet re-attached three times after getting water damage, and it's been fine."
"I don't know what to tell you - that's crazy."
"What if I don't need any warranty or guarantee?"
"We're not going to do it. Good luck!" And he laughed as he hung up.

Is it wrong that I want to go to the store just to see B 4 Real in person? And to ask if that's his birth name or if he just "goes" by that?

Around 1 PM, I checked the weather forecast and sat frozen in horror as the graphic for "thunderstorms" popped up for the late afternoon. I decided to head home so that I could hopefully prevent any further damage if things started backing up again.

Luckily, the company who I called in the morning DID call me back, and said that they would be right over to give a quote - so I was happy that I was already en route home. The carpet company representative arrived, took stock of the damage, and said it would be $400.

"Just make me feel better and tell me that you've seen worse," I pleaded.
"Oh, I've seen MUCH worse," he said, nodding his head.

Now the clock is ticking on when the carpeting will be completely dry, as it is set to be put back down a few days from now. Then we need to get it deep cleaned and that needs to dry before three of our good friends arrive for the 4th of July! Wish us luck.

As I wrap up this post, the skies have turned darker.... nooooooo!

- e