Sunday, October 29, 2006

For Pete's Sake.

What does she SEE in him!?!?! The celebrity couple that has always absolutely boggled my mind is Kate Moss and Pete Doherty. Granted, he's not really a 'celebrity' in the U.S., he just fronts some U.K. band called Babyshambles that can't be that great because they can never practice because he is always in rehab.

Seriously, have you SEEN this guy? He looks like a drunken version of Harry Potter, and I feel bad saying that because I actually really like the kid who plays Harry Potter.

This is Harry Potter.  This is Harry Potter on drugs.

Now there are rumors that not only are Kate and Pete engaged, but that she's pregnant. I hope that it is just a rumor, because these two junkies should NOT be having a child since neither one can take care of themselves as it is. A few days ago Kate was seen chugging down champagne, which lead some people to the conclusion that she must NOT be pregnant. Ummm... hello?!?! Did you forget who we're talking about here? It's KATE MOSS, not Einstein. This chick is as dumb as they come. It's obvious she's only with him because he's probably the only guy in the world who could care less about her and therefore it's a challenge for her.

Sorry to tell you this, Kate, but Pete is never ever ever going to be sober. I just don't think it's possible. AND he dresses horribly!  She should know better!I mean, this is the same guy who allegedly shot up an unconscious female fan with heroin. I couldn't even list out all the times he's been arrested because it would take me all week, but here's one and here's another.

After her cocaine scandal last year, you would think that those around her who actually do care about her would keep her as far away as possible from Pete. If he's not an "enabler," I don't know who would be. They had broken up for a little while, but he apparently won her over yet again a few months ago.

Theirs is a story that just cannot possibly end well. I feel sorry for Kate's daughter, three-year-old Lila. Perhaps Kate can get Angelina and/or Madonna to adopt her kids so they have half a chance at not having completely messed up lives.

- e

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A name change already?

This is not Jayden.  Or Sutton.  It's Sean. Usually people decide to change their name later in life... as celebrity babies Apple Martin, Pilot Inspektor Lee and Kal-El Cage are bound to do.

But Britney Spears has already done the ol' swich-a-roo for her second son, The Baby Previously Known as Sutton Pierce Spears. Everyone commented on how his initials were kept the same as 1-year-old brother Sean Preston's. Alas, it was not meant to stay that way.

Sutton Pierce is now Jayden James.

To be fair, Britney herself never even officially announced her son's arrival. The media caught wind that it was a boy and that he was named Sutton and took it from there. However, now the birth certificate has been filed so it is final... for now.

I just have to say... Jayden? I know that if she was going to have a girl she was going to name her Jamilyn - a mix between her sister Jamie and her mom Lynne's names. That would've bugged me because even though I would have known that it was supposed to have been pronounced JAY-mee-lin, it would've looked like JAM-a-lin. Perhaps Jayden is a cross between sister Jamie's name and... Hayden Christenson? Who knows. Maybe Britney is a closet Star Wars fan.

Regardless, let's just hope she doesn't drive with this one in the front seat or trip while carrying him in one arm and a drink in the other...

- e

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Moving on.

Please, someone, love us again!
Years after the break-up of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's marriage, they have each finally moved on. But I dare say neither of them are too happy with their new situations.

Yes, while the news just broke that "Kate" Holmes and Tom have finally announced their wedding date and will hold the ceremony in Italy, the buzz around their union faded a long time ago when everyone got completely and utterly sick of Tom's crazy antics. Even the debut of Suri was deemed to be a publicity stunt, and they held off on revealing her picture until they could get a higher bid than Angelina and Brad got for Shiloh's first magazine spread (and they still failed to do that!).

Then you've got Nicole. I said before that Keith Urban was a sketchy, girly-looking man, and what does he do but Damn you, you hillbilly!land himself back in rehab shortly (only 4 months!) after getting hitched. Hello, YOU ARE STUPID. You are never going to get anyone better than Nicole Kidman - have you looked in the mirror!?!?! And you choose to do the one thing she has stated that she would leave you over? Despite her current pledges to "stand by her man," sources say that she was shocked that he fell off the wagon and didn't see it coming.

Nicole has taken comfort in having long talks with her father , a psychologist, about her latest drama. Hopefully he will convince her to LEAVE THIS LOSER! Yes, I know I'm being harsh, but seriously, if he is not going to straighten up for her, he's not going to ever straighten up.

Wanna take bets on whose marriage lasts the longest? I think Katie and Tom's will, because Katie's getting paid to stay with him!

- e

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Silly, silly me.

Remember a month ago when I was so excited that I actually had a good customer service experience with AT&T that I devoted a whole blog write-up to it? A few hours of my life were dedicated to AT&T that day - between the call itself to figure out my DSL charges, and writing the post and gathering the pictures to go along with it. Oh, how I praised the likes of "Jenny," the woman on the other end of the phone who promised me a low monthly DSL rate of $19.99 and a clearer set of charges on my bill. I remember hanging up from the call that day literally astonished at how smoothly it went and how I ended up with a better deal that I had been hoping for.

Oh, how NAIVE I WAS. Stupid, stupid e!

Because when I viewed the October bill a few minutes ago, guess what? All the old charges are back, it's 2.5 times what it should cost, there are once again about 18 lines of charges and "discounts" on the bill, and Jenny is nowhere to be found. I called the billing number and they are not around on weekends. And of course, I'm cursing myself because I can't find the detailed notes I took during the call so I would know what the package is supposed to be called and whatnot. Now I am literally SEETHING. I am so mad that I cannot even see straight. I do not HAVE TIME to call them back during the work week, and I do not want to have to fight with some not-as-nice-as-Jenny-was person about what SHE promised me. Quite frankly I am ready to go back to the days of no DSL, no cell phones, no blackberries, no Tivo, no DirecTV and hell not even any phones st all if it means I don't have to have a nervous breakdown each time the bills come and they are all a mess.

All that keeps going through my head is, "Jenny, WHY did you LIE to me?!?!?! WHY!?!!!?!?!?!"
I feel betrayed.
I HATE you now!

Adding to my bitterness is that I've also recently been dealing with the complete and utter lameness that is my home warranty plan. If you are not familiar with what that is... basically when you buy a place you can get a home warranty that covers major appliances, plumbing and heating systems, etc. When you need things fixed or completely replaced, you call the warranty and they contract out to local service providers who you pay a flat fee to for the work. It comes in handy and we have used it a lot over the past three years.

But in the past few weeks, we realized that we should probably replace our 17 year old water heater because the average life of those things is about 12 years, and it's starting to hiss and gurgle every time it heats up, and it's situated above a room with many things that we don't want ruined in it. You would think that PROACTIVE replacement such as that would be a good thing, because it is saving all of the additional expenses that would come along with the water damage should the heater start leaking and/or actually break. But noooooooooooo, I can't just tell them I would like to replace the heater that's at least 5 years past its prime. They first make someone come out and attempt to fix it. Then they write up a claim to get it replaced. Then you can only get it replaced with some crappy no-name brand. Now I'm told that UNLESS IT IS LEAKING, they won't pay to replace it at all. The contractor the warranty plan hired out to said, "Between you and me, they will lose money on you if they pay for the replacement when it's not actually broken." Duh! I know that! But that's what insurance is all about - everyone pays and then only some people actually get more than they paid out of it. So, it's just a total hassle to go through all the process to file this claim and have them make up lame excuses as to why they won't replace a unit that is obviously on its last legs. Let's wait til it's a total crisis, shall we? THANKS FOR NOTHING!

- e

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Dearly Departed

... And the Funky Bunch. You’ve got your Jack Nicholson.
You’ve got your Leonardo Dicaprio.
You’ve got your Matt Damon.
You’ve got your… Mark Wahlberg.

Uh… does Marky Mark have Ari Gold for an agent or something? Exactly HOW did Funky Bunch/Boogie Nights Wahlberg get top billing (thought not his picture on the poster, see left) for “The Departed,” especially when Martin Sheen and Alec Baldwin are also in it?

I will tell you why, because he was the best part about the whole damn movie. Him AND Alec Baldwin, actually. Way more enjoyable than the other three supermegastars.

Don’t get me wrong – everyone did a great job and it was an excellent movie which I highly recommend. The very, very end got a tad cheesy and unraveled a bit, but I think it was intentional.

FEEL the vibrations!!!But nearly a week after I saw it, it’s Marky Mark and Alec’s performances that are still the most memorable. They have some rants and one-liners that are so hilarious and in such rapid succession that I feel like I need to see the movie again just to catch them all.

Ladies – if you are excited to see all the fellas in this movie, lower your expectations. Everyone looks like absolute crap all throughout, so there definitely is no eye candy to be enjoyed. However, I will say that it was the first time in a long time that I felt like I was watching a REAL MOVIE. As in, a movie that will be watched long into the future because it is that good (sorry, 'Snakes on a Plane.' I enjoyed you, but 'not in that way'). I guess technically ‘The Departed’ has already been around for a long time, This ain't no girly sinkin' ship movie!as it is a remake of 'Infernal Affairs,' a Chinese movie. The director of that original version called the Hollywood remake, “pretty good.”

Scorsese replied, "Um... Gee, thanks."

American movie-goers thought it was more than just pretty good, as it became the #1 movie in the country on opening weekend, and is also getting mostly excellent reviews.

All in all, I recommend this movie. It is not as Whaddaya starin' at?  You want my robe, don't you?violent as I thought it was going to be, or perhaps I have become desensitized. I did get a little twitchy during the 2.5 hour running time; some things could've moved along a little more quickly. But once again, I felt like it was the first solid movie I have seen in a long time, and it's definitely worth seeing on the big screen.

- e

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Someone needs a few anger management classes...

The dynamic duo.I have never really been a big Beyonce fan - I could take her or leave her. Some songs I like, but she's not an artist whose music and new albums I seek out. When I saw this performance of hers on the recent MTV Video Music Awards, I sensed that I would probably like "Ring the Alarm," but it's always hard to tell when you hear a song for the first time on an awards show, or even on a talk show.

But now it's official: I DO like it. I think I like it because I like the video for it, where Beyonce is just totally pissed off. Let us dissect the lyrics, shall we?

She gon' be rockin' chinchilla coats
If I let you go
Gettin' the house off the coast
If I let you go

She gon' take everything I own
If I let you go
I can't let you go, damn if I let you go

She gon' rock them VVS stones
If I let you go
Couped in the 'Bach or the Rolls
If I let you go
She gon' profit everything I taught
If I let you go
I can't let you go, damn if I let you go

From what I gather, Beyonce has a lot to lose if she lets this guy go. All material things, mind you, but hey, who am I to judge? This is coming from a woman whose man, Jay-Z, has lamely gone in and out of "retirement" about 5 million times. Obviously during all this time he has bought her many presents and she is loathe to give them up.

Stop copying my look, B!What I couldn't get over in the video is that during the Basic Instinct-inspired interrogation scene, Beyonce looks EXACTLY like Jennifer Lopez. As in, EXACTLY. I was amazed.

Another great thing about this song and its video is that it inspired a hilarious spoof by some drag queen-looking guy. If you want to laugh, then you should watch this, whether you have ever seen the real video or not. Some of his looks and poses in this are priceless.

But while the song may be good, Beyonce's overall new album, B'Day, is not getting great reviews, thereby making her dangerously close to losing her diva status! The horror!

She doesn't appear to be too worried. She and Jay-Z were most recently seen mingling with Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, which seems like a very bizarre choice of friends to me.

In the meantime, I will continue enjoying her anger issues through the new song, which I actually am going to download to my iPod today. I think it will serve as a good motivator for a brisk walk in the morning on my way to work, even though I don't have to worry about anyone stealing my "stones" or my Rolls.

- e