Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Golden Globes: The Debrief

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Hello my dear friends -

It has been two months or so since I've been able to post. A long trip to Middle Earth, the holidays, and working for The Man have eaten up my time. However, one of my favorite nights of the year recently came and went, so I felt I needed to give my take on... The Golden Globe awards.

The Golden Globes is my favorite awards show because it combines BOTH TV and Movie awards, so it's like a 2-for-1 special. Nearly every award is something that's actually interesting, rather than like at the Oscars where there's really only a few awards at the very end that anyone not in the movie industry cares about. Plus, everyone seems a lot more relaxed at the Golden Globes than at the Oscars, so there are bound to be good blooper moments.

However, not everyone was relaxed Monday night. For me, BY FAR, the best moment of the night was actually during the red carpet pre-show on E! First off, it was "reported" early on in the telecast that it had been "confirmed that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt would be arriving together." I'm sure that drove all of the little reporter people and paparazzi CRAZY with anticipation. Ryan Seacrest and some other total idiot women were interviewing people on the red carpet for E!, and the first funny moment came when the idiot woman (I seriously don't even know who she was, she was AWFUL) was interviewing Jeremy Piven and his mom, and they literally just cut them off out of nowhere because Ryan happened to be lucky enough to bag Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt shortly after they arrived. It was obvious that it was a "We have somebody SO MUCH BETTER than you!" moment when they cut off Ari, I mean Jeremy's interview.

However, I bet Seacrest now wishes that he had actually been "out" during the interview, because Angelina was the ultimate ice queen. I've never seen someone be so obvious about their disdain for an event and "the scene." The most classic moment was when Ryan just shoved the microphone in her face and she remained silent. It was like, "You are not even worthy of my breath, frosted hair boy! Be gone with you!!!"

Brad, however, was in a good, talkative mood and kept covering for her. She couldn't get off of that platform fast enough. They did show Brangelina SEVERAL times throughout the rest of the night during the actual ceremony, and she seemed to be in a much better mood at her table with all of Brad's Babel peeps. And the camera caught a very sweet moment where she gave Brad a squeeze on the neck after Babel's big win.

I honestly can't say I blame her for hating on Ryan Seacrest - he is high on my list of all-time annoying faux celebrities (I have never watched American Idol, so I DO NOT GET his appeal!?!). I mean, come ON... he KNOWS they are these big global do-gooders but yet he asks them things like, "What did you have for breakfast?" or - the best one - "How exciting is it for you to be here?" Um, like they have done nothing more exciting than be in L.A. at the Golden Globes?!?! I really cannot BELIEVE that at that point, Angelina didn't grab the microphone and start going off on how the Golden Globes are just another example of conspicuous consumption in America and how the money spent on the ceremony could've built 100 African villages and fed 20,000 orphans. She should've!

If you didn't see the classic interview, watch it here. It is only two minutes. Now the dynamic duo are most likely on their way to New Orleans, as it was reported today that they will be moving there, and their three kids will be going to school there. At least they are showing some love to the U. S of A and not only other countries!

So to recap, the Brangelina red carpet moments were the highlight of the night. Other interesting moments of note include:

- How Prince didn't show up in time for his award for best song in "Happy Feet." Apparently he was stuck in traffic, for real. He arrived later and Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant gave him a shout-out, to which he made a praying gesture and bowed. In a gold jumpsuit.

Can a girl get directions to the bathroom???- Beyonce looked totally plastic. As in, I think she actually had some sort of plastic sheen sprayed on her before the show. Like Mystic Tan, but with liquid plastic that hardens like Magic Shell. And who poses like they are about to pee their pants?!?!

- Felicity Huffman, I fear, was wasted and also suffering from botched plastic surgery. She was slurring her words during her and her husband's interview with Ryan - I couldn't find a clip of it, though. It was embarrassing. She looked like a different person. Why, Felicity, why??

- Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake were both there, but apparently "their people" kept them from running into each other awkwardly on the red carpet. However, the word is that during commercial breaks, she was stalking his table and trying to talk with him. Probably the reason why he jetted out with his mom right after the show. And Cameron, all I have to say is this: You look better as a tan blonde. Your dark hair-white skin-red lipstick-look WHAT IS THAT?!?!just makes you appear to be The Joker's long lost sister, and it's not making you seem any smarter, if that's what you were trying to achieve. You ARE a dumb blonde, so just embrace it and be proud!

Not too many other great moments, I'm sad to say. Sacha Baron Cohen's speech was hilarious (only to those who saw Borat), there were a few surprises (Ugly Betty winning best comedy and Best Actress) , and I liked Meryl Streep's speech and how she ended it with her Devil Wears Prada character's signature "That's all!"

I may just pass on the Oscars if that was the best Hollywood had to offer for the Globes.

- e

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great to have you back!. Still looking for your dish on Donald and Rosie!

debbie said...

beyonce - nice armpit. were you waiting for michaelangelo to jump out of the crowd and sculpt you or something?

Anonymous said...

Those of us who watch American Idol don't get Ryan Seacrest's appeal, either. It's a mystery.

Matt said...

Need more E!!!!!