Frightening revelation of the week: I think I like Fergie's music

Have you ever been outright ashamed by a "guilty pleasure" of yours? Something that you know is just really stupid, but for whatever reason, you just like it?

I rarely get embarrassed by anything, and don't really care that everyone knows that I love(d) 'N Sync, the Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block, or Milli Vanilli (went to TWO of their concerts)! Nor would I mind if anyone knew that I love the movie "Xanadu," still watch "The Real World" even though I'm in my 30s, and would read Star magazine over anything serious any day of the week.

But this morning as I was walking to the El, I realized that I have finally found something to be ashamed of... the fact that I have downloaded/purchased not one, not two, but THREE of Fergie's songs (even more if you count Black-Eyed Peas songs).

Fergie has many, many qualities that I do not like:
1) She used to be a crystal meth addict
2) Her eyebrows are extremely strange
3) She has a boyfriend (Josh Duhamel from 'Las Vegas') who is way too cute for her
4) She acts about 10 years younger than she actually is and gets away with it
5) Her lyrics are utterly stupid

Yet, I have downloaded "London Bridge," "Fergalicious," and just yesterday, "Big Girls Don't Cry."

Why, God, whyyyyyy have you cursed me to like these songs? At least I didn't give money to support the train wrecks that were "My Humps" and "Glamorous."

Anyway, I think I figured out why I like these songs... they are all very good for work-outs - they have good beats that make you want to pick up the pace. And as Fergie herself says, "I'll be UP at the gym, just workin' on my fitness!"

In addition to that extremely deep line, here are some of my other favorites:

From 'London Bridge':
As the drinks start pouring,
And my speech start slurring,
Everybody start looking real good!


From 'Fergalicious':
T to the A, to the S-T-E-Y, girl, you tastey!

(That's right friends, tasty is now spelled with an e, get used to it!)


From 'Big Girls Don't Cry':
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket...

?!?!

but it gets better:
Like a little school mate in a school yard,
We'll play jacks and Uno cards

WHAT?!?!

First off, I guess I should have some sort of respect for the fact that Fergie brought UNO into a song?!?! I mean, it is a good game. But really, it's kind of strange to have in a song, don't you think?

I have come to peace with the fact that I like these songs. I don't LIKE that I like these songs, but I cannot deny my enjoyment when I listen to them on the way to or from work.

And guess what? You have a song that YOU like that is just as bad, I guarantee it!

- e