Don't stand so... don't stand so... don't stand so close to me.

Today I would like to comment on an annoying phenomenon that I have noticed increasingly lately. Let me first state that overall, I have no issue with people touching me or bumping/brushing against me accidentally or anything like that. In fact, I would place myself closer to the "Touchy-Feely" end of the Tolerance for Physical Contact spectrum than to the "Stay Six Feet Away From Me All All Times" end. However, when people continually run into me while standing in line - the same person over and over and over- then I CANNOT take it. It is less about that fact that someone has touched me and more about that person's inability to realize that they KEEP hitting me and/or their inexplicable impatience.

A few examples:
- Recently I was at Disney World, and was in the line for Space Mountain. In front of me was a mother and her son. When we neared the end of the line (the part where the actual ride itself comes into view), the mom realized that it was a fairly hard-core rollercoaster, and she wanted to back out. So she and her son stood there bickering for what was no more than 20 seconds. Meanwhile, the line ahead of them had advanced slightly. I waited patiently behind them, letting them battle it out. I then felt a tap on my shoulder, and turned around to find a small posse of high school senior girls. The leader of this group said, "Um, excuse me, but the line is moving." I paused to turn and look at the barely moving line. I then replied, "One, I'm not with them (pointing to the two holding up the line). Two, they've only been standing still for a matter of seconds. Three, we're all gonna get on the ride and we're all going to the same place, so just chill." The response was a flurry of "Ohmygawd, what did she say??"'s and belligerent behavior. Shortly thereafter, the mom DID back out of the line, the son stayed ahead of me, and we all advanced a whopping FIVE FEET. And then continued to wait.
- Also while at Disney World, I was in a long line for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, and this teenage girl behind me continued to run into me again and again - be it slamming into my back or stepping on my heel. Granted, she was with a guy whose t-shirt read, "I put ketchup on my ketchup," but still. Finally I turned half-way around and shot her "e's look of death" and she mumbled, "Sorry." But it happened AGAIN. This line was moving at a snail's pace. It's like people who gun the engine in the car and still end up at the red light like everybody else.

WHAT IS THE POINT?

PEEPS MUST CHILL.

- Inevitably while going through security at an airport, some moron BEHIND me has to be a bully and rush to get his or her stuff on the tables that precede the scanner belt and then act like they're going to miss their plane because I take approximately 5.2 seconds to take off my shoes and take my laptop out of its bag. Here's the thing - I travel A LOT - and I have got that security process down to a science. So if someone is going to miss their plane, it's going to be because they're an idiot and didn't get to the airport early enough. Getting their bags on the moving belt ahead of me isn't going to make or break their ability to run 4 miles through O'Hare to reach their gate. The next person that does this to me might get their laptop accidentally pushed off the belt. Oops! So sorry!

The moral of this story is - you should be conscious of if you are hitting other people while waiting in any sort of line, and you should also feel free to pummel them if they are doing so to you. Usually I say "violence is not the answer," but a girl can only take so much!

- e