ENOUGH with the "bump" talk!

Yesterday I was reading this artice on CNN.com, which talks about Reese Witherspoon suing Star magazine for publishing articles stating that she was pregnant with her third child, but trying to hide the news so as to not lose potential and already-contracted movie roles. That's all fine and good, but what made me pause was this statement from the file records, "The true facts are that plaintiff is not pregnant, does not have a baby bump and has not otherwise gained weight such that she has had to resort to wearing empire-waist dresses." I was absolutely shocked that the term "baby bump" was actually used in this official document.

Typically only seen in US Weekly, In Touch, Star, OK!, Life & Style and Celebrity Living (all of which I admit to reading religiously), the use of this term has grown exponentially over the past few years, and it is annoying the crap out of me. I don't know why, I just can't stand it. I also must admit that I did believe all the articles saying Reese was pregnant. Then again, I think any of us pop culture fans who keep up with celebrity gossip have now been programmed to think that any time someone famous gains 2 pounds or is photographed at an odd angle that makes their stomach protude a tad, they MUST BE PREGNANT.


And remember how a few days ago I noted that I sounded like a grumpy senior because I was complaining that Madonna didn't play enough "old songs?" Well, I can now officially be compared to a crotchety old lady because apparently this elderly woman feels the same way that I do about the "baby bump" phrase. My problem with it comes down to that I think it's too "cutesy." Just say someone is pregnant, say their stomach is growing, say whatever you want, but don't say they have a "bump." Perhaps it just reminds me of speed bumps, bumper cars, or the R. Kelly song "Bump 'n Grind." I don't know, I just know that I don't like it! So now I fear that because of its prominent place in Reese's lawesuit, it has now become a legitimate term and is going to be seen and heard even MORE. Someone think up a better term, quick!