Wrath of the Titans

Hello my dear friends -

Here I am again, apologizing for not having posted in so long. But I have good news: my transition to setting up a home office (I've been writing from my kitchen table since I left The Man in 2007, remember) is almost complete, I now have a wonderful nanny who is helping me out with Desmond (What's that? You didn't know I had a kid in January? Get all the details here!), and I'm soon going to make it a top top TOP priority to write at least five times a week here on According to e. Go ahead and make bets with each other as to whether I'll stick to my word this time. I WILL DO IT, and if you bet against me YOU WILL LOSE!

(But seriously, I don't actually blame you if you bet against me. I know I've made this sort of proclamation before...)

So here's a bit of good news to kick off this next chapter of According to e: I started writing for Redbox again at the beginning of March and couldn't be happier about it. I'm doing more behind-the-scenes stuff this time around, but every once in a while I'll be posting movie reviews on their blog. Like this one I did on The Hunger Games.

Today, however, we've got Wrath of the Titans to talk about. Since my time is very precious these days now that little Des has arrived, I'm being extra choosy about which film screenings I attend. Perhaps that's why my husband was surprised that I wanted to go to the Clash of the Titans sequel. "Really?" he asked when I made him promise he'd be home from work in time for me to head to the theater. "Yeah, I liked the first one—I love all that Greek myth stuff."

And that's the truth. 2010's Clash remake was totally over-the-top ridiculous, but who cares? It had a Kraken and Pegasus and Zeus. I was down with it, despite my hatred of 3D. So I was looking forward to Wrath of the Titans for all of those same reasons (well, there's no longer a Kraken, but there ARE tons of Greek gods, on top of Chimeras and Cyclops (what's the plural of Cyclops?)!). But little did I know that the absolute best thing about the screening would be The Hobbit trailer that played beforehand—in 3D. Let me tell you, it was incredible. It brought tears to my eyes, no lie. I cannot wait until December 14.

So The Hobbit trailer alone is worth the price of admission for Wrath. But I liked the main feature as well, thankfully. It's one of those nonstop action flicks whose dialogue is shameful, so the reason you go to this one is to just zone out and escape into another world for a few hours. It even has major drinking game potential: if you dare to sneak some flasks into the theater and take a sip every time a character says "my brother" or "my son," you will definitely be drunk within 30 minutes—apparently the writers did not think we'd be able to keep the gods' family tree straight.

Zeus to Hades: "My brother, why are you so mean?"
Poseidon to Zeus: "My brother, are you OK?"
Zeus to Perseus: "My son, why won't you join us?"
Ares to Zeus: "My father, why do you like Perseus better than me? Waaa."

OK, so that's not actual dialogue from the movie, but it's pretty damn close and you get my point about the "my brother" stuff. I wish I'd counted how many times brother, father, or son was uttered.

BUT I DIGRESS and it's all good because: 1) the effects are stellar, and 2) this new guy (Toby Kebbell) who plays the demigod Agenor is like a funnier, less annoying Russell Brand, and 3) Sam Worthington is totally cute (and the chick who plays Andromeda, Rosamund Pike, provides the eye candy for the fellas), AND 4) there are the aforementioned mythical beasts.

As with its predecessor, Wrath seems like it would've been more at home during the summer movie season rather than its random March 30 release date. But since we've already had a string of record-breaking warm temps here in Chicago and elsewhere across the country, maybe it kind of already IS summer, at least in our heads.

If you see Wrath of the Titans, let me know what you thought of it. AND of The Hobbit trailer, of course.

- e