What is Your "Claim to Fame"?

Do you have something that you consider to be your "claim to fame"? Longtime readers of this blog might remember that back in 2008 I wrote about how up until that point, I'd never eaten a taco. I was wondering if a thing I had while on vacation in Mexico finally qualified. (The consensus was that it did.)

I still use the "Madonna went to my high school" tidbit referenced in that same post whenever I'm in a situation that requires an "interesting fact about you." But my other go-to statement that tends to shock people is that I've never had coffee. As in, I've never even tried it. Not one sip. This seems to blow a lot of people's minds. Apparently even those who don't consider themselves to be coffee drinkers have at least tried the stuff at some point.

But not me. Not even coffee-flavored ice cream. Not even one of those fancy drinks at Starbucks that has a ton of other stuff in it along with a tiny bit of coffee. NO COFFEE.

There's no reason for this except that I think even the smell of coffee is gross. I know there are people who can't get up in the morning unless they smell a freshly brewed pot of joe wafting through their house. That's something I don't understand.

I'm a tea girl, but even with that I'm not too extreme. I have one big mug of Earl Grey each morning and that's it. I'm not too happy if something causes me to have to skip that mug, but I don't transform into a terrible beast in search of caffeine, either.

My husband actually drinks neither. He'll have a bowl of cereal in the morning or a banana or something, but no caffeine. (He will drink coffee or an espresso at restaurants every now and then, though, so he can't steal my no-coffee-ever-whatsoever thunder.)

I'm curious to see if anyone else has one of these claims to fame that they're oddly proud of—something that seems to truly surprise people?

- e

On the Hunt for Guiltless (But Not Gross) Snacks

I'm what you would call a "grazer"—I snack throughout the afternoon after a small breakfast. I think I read that's supposed to be better for you than eating three bigger meals per day ... but not if everything you're snacking on is unhealthy, of course.

That's why I always try to have good options available at home. I've learned the hard way that if, say, Sea Salt Caramel Bites are in my vicinity, I will eat them. All of them. After Desmond's birthday party I was tortured by the leftover cake and cupcakes—my husband and I decided we needed to give everything to our nanny that Monday or else we were going to gain 20 pounds each.

Recently I thought I'd stumbled upon a great find: Trader Joe's Reduced Guilt Air-Popped popcorn. I loooove popcorn. But this stuff was THE GROSSEST.

Seriously, it's pretty damn disgusting. It tastes like you're eating those foam packing peanut thingies. I love Trader Joe's overall (semi-related note: their Brown Rice & Quinoa Fusilli Pasta is incredible), but this popcorn was inexcusable.

What I've found to be much better is the Whole Foods version. That, and Skinny Pop, both taste good and have comparable stats when it comes to calories, fat, salt, and whatnot.

Another snack staple of mine has become KIND bars—specifically these two types. I did a lot of research on all of the bars out there and these were the ones that were not only recommended by a trainer at my gym, but also seemed to meet all of the other tests I put them through.

My other go-tos:

• Honeycrisp apples—the only apples I can just eat as-is (without some chocolate accompaniment). Too bad they're not in season for much of the year
• Grapes, the biggest kinds I can find. I keep meaning to freeze them because I heard they're great that way, too.
• Mary's Gone Crackers, um, crackers and hummus or baba ghanoush for dip.

My snack criteria, aside from needing to be healthy, is that the snack must also be effortless. As in, zero prep time.

Anyone have any other old standbys that fit the bill?

- e

Close Enough for Now

This past weekend I remembered something that had been tucked away in the back of my mind for a few weeks: An Einstein Bros. Bagels shop had opened just a couple of blocks away from my condo. Longtime readers might recall me mentioning Einstein's before (in the fall of 2007!) because they're the place that sells the pumpkin cream cheese that I stock up on around Halloween each year.

Those same loyal "According to e" visitors might also remember this post from the spring of 2008 in which I professed my love for "Whole Wheat Everything" bagels and complained on and on about how they only seemed to be available in New York.

Unfortunately that's still the case... BUT I'm happy to report that Chicago is inching closer to having a bagel option of the same delicious caliber. When I finally made my way down to the new Einstein's this weekend, I was beyond thrilled to discover that they offer a "Good Grains" bagel which is awfully similar to a "Whole Wheat Everything" bagel. It doesn't have as many types of seeds and salt and whatnot on top, but I was seriously smiling ear to ear nonetheless. This discovery made my day... my weekend... my month! You can bet that I bought a bunch to take home and will be back approximately every 3 days to restock. I am going to keep that place in business, no doubt. They will soon know me on a first-name basis, I am sure of it. (Particularly because you need to tell them your first name with every order.)

I've said it before and I'll say it again: See how little it takes to make me happy?

- e

I'm Afraid This Means Goodbye

At 6:30 PM last night my husband and I had dinner at one of our favorite Italian restaurants. By 1 AM we'd agreed we could never go there again. This makes me very sad indeed, but it's how we've always reacted to bouts of food poisoning -- we cut the offending dish/place off cold turkey.

Our harsh approach first took form back in 2001, when one of two meals we had in Bali led to my husband being freakishly sick for several months (look forward to that full story in a future book!). We'll never know for sure, but we think it was either chicken satay or this crazy beef-heavy Balinese feast that did him in... I partook in the former but not the latter, so I've always been convinced it was the beef feast. Either way, my husband's never touched chicken satay since. Same goes for scallops, which he had a bad experience with on Cape Cod in 2003. And pretty much anything else that makes either of us nauseous afterward. No second chances!

Last night we both ate the same thing: the "avocado crostini" starter (pictured above) -- I had one of them and he had the other three. Then we both ordered the pumpkin pasta -- which is so, so, so good, and is the main reason why we've returned to this place again and again over the years. It's pumpkin-stuffed ravioli with pine nuts and squares of butternut squash and this great, barely there brown-sugarish sauce. My husband finished his plate and I took half of mine home to warm up for lunch today.

That's not gonna happen now... because a few hours after dinner, as Badlands was drawing to a close (we're going through a big Terrence Malick film phase and had popped that DVD in as soon as we got home), I pretty much passed out. Meaning that I literally could not stop myself from falling asleep, it was as though I'd been hit with the proverbial ton of bricks. When I woke up a few hours later, I felt feverish and faint. So I pretty much just went back to bed after telling my husband about what was going on.

The next time I woke up it was to the sound of somebody throwing up in the distance. (Kind of like waking up to the sound of the ocean, or birds in the rainforest... or NOT.) When I came to my senses I realized that my husband had gone to our downstairs bathroom and was sick. Eventually he returned and mumbled, "We're never going to that place again."

So there you have it. I sadly dumped my leftovers into the trash this morning and am kind of mad at myself for insisting we go to that place last night. My husband hadn't been into it because we were just there last week when Miss M was visiting us from NYC. And now we'll never go again. Boo!

Is this how you guys handle bouts of food poisoning? Will you ever try the restaurant and/or meal again or would you rather take no chances?

- e

Drink Your Veggies

Yesterday I wrote about how we summer-ified our deck on Memorial Day, but there was another big event that took place at our condo that afternoon as well. My husband bought a juicer. Not just any juicer, but a pretty high-end one (the Hurom slow juicer) from Williams-Sonoma that made me yell, "It costs how much???" after he told me of his plans.

"Trust me, I've researched this," he replied, and took off -- returning in a few hours with this space-gadget-looking thing.



That's an action shot, by the way, which I just snapped a few minutes ago as I was trying the thing out by myself for the first time. I will say that it is really easy to both put together and then clean afterward. If it had any sharp parts where there was even the slightest chance I could slice off my finger, OR if there were any parts that need to be cleaned after use yet couldn't be totally submerged in water, I wouldn't even bother. Any type of gadget -- especially one for the kitchen that has to do with food preparation -- must be almost effortless for me to use or else it ain't gonna happen. 'Cause I can always go across the street, order my sweet potato fries, and call it a day.

I'm not exactly sure why my husband suddenly became obsessed with buying a juicer. The idea seemed to have come out of nowhere a few weeks ago. As I mentioned in this post, we are shifting our diet a bit and I'm assuming maybe he thought a juicer would make it easier for us to fit in more fruits and veggies on a daily basis. But I was like, "Why can't we just use a blender?" My friend Nerdy P had recently told me about how she makes smoothies in the morning for herself and her son, and she throws a bunch of spinach in and he's none the wiser. With a juicer, however, it's pretty tough to work with greens (we already tried -- they just don't yield much juice).

I also asked, "Why is this better than a blender when you can't put ice in it and therefore have to put all the juice you make in the fridge/freezer if you want it to be cold?" Then I also asked, "But aren't apple skins and the seeds in berries good for you fiber-wise and whatnot?" (The juicer separates all of that stuff out, as you can see in the container on the left in the pic above. That's also where almost all of the greens we threw in ended up.)

My husband gave some extremely vague answers to my questions, so I'm still not fully convinced we needed this thing. Granted, it's been used more since Monday than the blender and food processor we received as wedding gifts have in nearly eight years, so I'm not complaining. It definitely is nice to just be able to drop fruits and veggies in without having to peel them. I'm not a big veggie eater and this is a very, very slick way for me to "drink" tomatoes, carrots, etc. without tasting them at all. If you simply throw a few raspberries into the mix, all other flavors disappear, so I'm happy about that. Above on the right is today's finished product. At some point I'm going to mix in one of those packets (one's powdered greens, the other is powdered fruit) that I received as samples and see how it goes.

If any of you out there own a juicer and want to help further convince me of why it's better than/different from/needed in addition to a blender, I'm all ears!

- e

Out with the (Really) Old

Those of you who are connected to me on Twitter might have caught a message this past weekend about how I'd discovered cans of soup and vegetables with 2005 expiration dates in my cupboard. Yes, I am embarrassed about this.

The full story is that my husband and I decided to do an overhaul of our diets and went on a crazy-big shopping spree at Whole Foods on Sunday. (Remember that I normally get our groceries delivered from Peapod, so we're rarely confronted with aisles and aisles of food options. It was overwhelming, to say the least.)

When we returned home I emptied out all levels of our sole kitchen cupboard... which was when I was met with a few surprises. On top of the several cans of stuff that had either expired in 2005, 2007, 2009, or earlier this year, a tin of jam had leaked god knows when, and as a result there was a thick layer of black and sticky goop surrounding it. It took quite a while to clean that mess up, and involved a knife, a lot of paper towel, and several combinations of goop-be-gone sprays.

I went through my fridge as well, but I'm happy to report that aside from a tub of cottage cheese that was past due, most everything in there was still edible.

After I'd toss all the bad stuff and set aside a few cans of things we don't eat anymore (to give to a food shelter), my challenge became trying to figure out the best way to arrange all of our new purchases in the cupboard. You see, my husband is one of those people who does not think something exists unless he can see it. He's the guy who opens a new carton of OJ if the not-nearly-empty/already-open one is, say, hiding behind the water pitcher. He fully admits to this, but it makes it tough when there's literally no way to display everything we bought at the front of our shelves. Some things had to go in the back, and therefore he's going to have to remember that 1) we bought them in the first place, and 2) he has to spend a few seconds figuring out where they are. He's been traveling ever since our shopping excursion and is back tonight, so we'll see how he does with it all this weekend.

Here's how the cupboard look now. The shelves are pretty deep, and lots of goodies are hiding in the back. Let's hope it's not 2017 before we see them again.

- e

Michy's Miami: Best Short Ribs Ever

At the end of January I spent a long weekend in the Sunshine State with my friend Miss M -- she traveled south from NYC to run the Miami Half Marathon, and I tagged along in order to get a break from Chicago's winter weather and, of course, cheer her on. (Some of you may recall that I've been lucky enough to go on several exotic-destination vacations with Miss M because she's got mad Starwood Points. When you have a friend like her it really pays to be a freelancer, be able to work from anywhere, and not have to ask The Man for time off!)

Miss M had thoroughly researched the Miami restaurant scene and made reservations for us every day and night at fabulous spots. The place we visited our first evening in town, Michy's, ended up being my favorite, which thoroughly surprised me. It surprised me because I thought its owner/head chef, Michelle Bernstein, was a bit of a you-know-what when she appeared as a guest judge on Season Seven of Top Chef. It was actually her recent return to the series during the current All-Star season that reminded me to write about my experience at her restaurant! (And yes, I realize that someone's personality doesn't have any bearing whatsoever on whether or not they're a good chef. I guess I was just mentally prepared to not like her food because she rubbed me the wrong way on the show.)

Now, usually I'm the kind of person who's all about appetizers and desserts. I'm not really a main course kind of gal -- meaning that's not what I usually look forward to when I go out to eat, if that makes any sort of sense. But while I generally recall everything being wonderful at Michy's, I seriously can't even remember what else I had there besides THE FREAKING BEST SHORT RIBS IN THE WORLD. Their superiority crowded out the memory of anything else I consumed that night.

Am I allowed to deem them the Best Short Ribs Ever when they were actually the first short ribs I've tasted in my life? Yes, I am, because: 1) It's my site and I can do whatever I want, and 2) I ended up having short ribs for dinner every night for the duration of our trip just to compare and contrast... and have also had them at a few other high-end places here in Chicago over the last two months. Michy's short ribs blew the competition away. It was no contest. Not only was the meat excellent (and this is coming from someone who rarely eats red meat), but the accents (is that the right word?) just did me in. The diced squash with cinnamon KILLED ME. And guess what? I found a picture of it all:


Perfection.

Guess what else? I actually found the recipe, straight from the chef herself! But since I don't cook that means someone out there is going to have to offer to recreate the meal for me -- preferably on a day when I need cheering up. Because this dish is guaranteed to do it. Who's up for the challenge?

- e

I Have Faced My Ultimate Temptation

Those of you who've been hanging around this site for the past few years might remember that in the summer of 2007 I wrote about how I hardly ever go to the grocery store. Peapod delivers everything to me.

Now, this used to be because my husband and I didn't have a car. Here in Chicago, you don't really need one. If we didn't get groceries delivered, we'd have to haul our nerdy granny cart several blocks -- usually in either below-zero or above-ninety temps... there never seems to be an in-between anymore -- in order to get what we needed. But in February, someone from my husband's sales team left the firm and my husband was given his company car. Bonus! But guess what? We still don't go to the grocery store -- Peapod's just too convenient.

However, that doesn't mean that I don't LIKE roaming around in a supermarket when I get the rare chance to do so. That's the only way I can learn about the latest and greatest snack innovations that the food-marketing geniuses have come up with. Like yogurt with a little bowl of crushed Oreos included on top (defeating the entire purpose of yogurt, right? Isn't it supposed to be semi-healthy?). I couldn't believe this when I saw it in King Kullen out in Hampton Bays with Miss M a few weekends ago. I came across waaaay too many curious new items to mention in this post, though... especially since the point of this entry is something else entirely. I'm writing to let you know that I have faced what is perhaps the biggest temptation I could ever be faced with, and I have emerged victorious. Victorious... and stronger.

Here is my biggest temptation: an entire WALL OF ICE CREAM TOPPINGS.




Sure, I'm smiling and appear happy in the photo above. But inside, I am fraught with conflict. How could I face this Wall o' Toppings and NOT lose all self-control and break into one of the jars or bottles and dump it all over my face? Further, how could I calmly peruse the offerings and then walk away... with nothing in hand?

It was tough... but I did it. Maybe it's because I knew that the S'mores treats I wrote about yesterday loomed on the horizon -- I was confident there would be chocolate and marshmallows pumping through my system within a matter of hours. So I was able to take a deep breath and continue on to aisles that harbored no such siren calls. Aisles with stuff like, you know, butter or cold cuts.

Are you proud of me?

S'mores, Minus the Campfire

One of the coolest things Miss M and I did during my trip to New York was make s'mores. But there wasn't any chopped wood, fire or long twigs involved -- we cooked them indoors with the help of her ingenious S'mores Maker.



At the trendy restaurant N9NE in Chicago, Vegas and Dallas, you can make s'mores for dessert using a similar set-up, but Michelle found the home version. You just light a little Sterno thingy and voila! You're ready to roast some marshmallows without having to smell like smoke and ash for the rest of the day.




Sometimes the marshmallows would catch on fire if either of us held them in one spot over the grill for too long. After a few milliseconds of panic, you realize all you really need to do is blow on the flaming white gob and the fire would go out. Then you'd be left with a nicely charred treat.



The end result is below. I downed two of these bad boys within minutes. Yes, I felt kinda ill afterward -- should've paced myself. But I have no regrets.



We used dark chocolate, which I highly recommend. Because, you know, it's healthier.




I had the urge for another s'more yesterday and went to get one at this crazy candy/ice cream shop by my place that I've passed on the sidewalk countless times over the past 14 years and never went inside until last week. Bad move -- now I'm in there all the time. Anywhoo... they have pre-made s'mores that are ridiculously expensive -- like $4.50 for one. But because I'm a fool for sweets I bought one last night, took it home, microwaved it for 10 seconds and then devoured it before my dog even got a chance to fully sniff at my plate and try to figure out what was going on. Same consequence as before: I felt kind of sick later. I need to learn to slow down when I eat dessert. But anyway, it was still tasty, though I prefer the "real" kind of s'more that I made with Miss M. That's as close as I'm ever going to get to cooking something.

Taste of Chicago 2010

Another Fourth of July has come and gone, which means I've made my annual trek to the Taste of Chicago, as this event is always held the week before and week of Independence Day.

This was the first year that I was joined not only by Nerdy P (who is usually with me), but also her parents and her son. I think they might've been a bit overwhelmed by the heat and the crowds, but Nerdy P and I are old pros and can whiz in and out of the masses like nobody's business. So much so that we had one round of snacking on Friday and then a second with our remaining food tickets on Saturday.

Here's me with a very high-end salad that I absolutely loved. It was from The Grill on the Alley, and its official description was: "Grilled Anjou Pear salad with walnuts and maytag blue cheese." Good lord, it was awesome.



Nerdy P tried some gazpacho ("with avocado and chopped chives") from this same station and really liked it. Here she is with a selection from Carbón -- a restaurant that has never had a booth at the festival before.



It's kind of hard to see, but it was a tilapia taco. It looked really good -- and she confirmed that it was.

Other things I had were some of my old standbys -- deep-dish spinach pizza, cheesy garlic bread, baklava -- as well as some newbies like an upside-down caramel cupcake (awesome), the aforementioned salad, and a popcorn ball from Chicago's famous Garrett's Popcorn.

After we'd had our fill on Friday, we walked off the calories by trekking over to Navy Pier. I thought it would be a 15-minute stroll and it ended up being much longer -- oops. All the more reason for me to get an ice cream sandwich along the way!

Once at Navy Pier, Nerdy P, her son, her mom and I went on The SeaDog. If you don't remember what The SeaDog is, you can read my prior post about it here.

I don't know WHAT was going on that day, but we ended up getting thoroughly soaked. I've been on this speedboat ride several times, and this has never happened. It was seriously so crazy -- at first I was covering my head with my arms and mock-screaming over the loud, blasting '80s music they play... but then I just started laughing. It was pointless trying to fight it. I was worried Nerdy P's son would either be scared or mad because he got drenched, but as you can see from this picture, he was like a little puppy with its head out of the window during a car trip. He couldn't get enough of it and didn't seem to be too jazzed whenever the boat slowed down. Ah, to be young.



Once back on land, we rode the Ferris Wheel. It was a beautiful, sunny day and there's no view of the Windy City like the one from 150-feet above the ground.



Another successful holiday weekend! I hope Nerdy P realizes that I expect her to continue this annual tradition until we're in our eighties and hauling our walkers through the crowds...

Let the Weight Gain Begin!

As those of you who read my most recent Lost post know, I shed ten pounds over the last few months while I was finishing up my manuscript. It actually was as much as thirteen pounds at one point, but my eating escapades detailed below have helped me regain some footing.

At first I thought it was just the stress of the writing process that was causing the number on the scale to continue to drop. Then I realized that the situation was more likely caused by my switch to a mostly dairy-free, gluten-free, low-sugar, low-carb, high-protein diet. Those of you who actually know me realize that this undertaking basically meant that I was changing everything I eat. As my husband pointed out, I probably shouldn't have attempted such a drastic overhaul while I was also under the gun to meet my deadline. Because I was already grumpy enough as it was. Then I took away bread and pasta and cheese and ice cream, the four staples of my diet for the past several decades. Dumb move!

Anyway, for about two weeks I was really strict on this new plan (which I did for a combination of reasons I won't get into, but it was advised by a doctor and was NOT done in an attempt to lose weight because I was already right where I should've been... I have never, and will never, go on a "diet"). Those first two weeks were when most of the weight came off and I was a tad alarmed. Then I started hating on almost all of the stuff I'd switched to. Teff quesadillas? Rice cheese? Gluten-free pasta? Soy ice cream? Sorry, but those things are NOT substitutes for the real deal, and I got sick of all of that crap fairly quickly.

Now I've found a nice balance -- I'm still pretty much dairy-free (though I did get a huge waffle cone of ice cream yesterday), but simply cannot stay away from most bread products. At least I always try to choose high-quality 100% whole wheat options.

Since I don't care if I get back to my normal weight, I've been going a bit crazy lately with random treats. On June 11th, the toughest part of my manuscript was behind me and I only had a few smaller sections (About the Author, References, etc.) still hanging over my head (those were due on the 15th), so on the way back from running errands I stopped into Molly's Cupcakes. I quickly spied what I wanted: the Mixed Berry cupcake. And so I got it, as you can see to the left. Unfortunately, the cake part turned out to be a blueberry muffin, but the cream on top was still awesome.

Just a few blocks down the very same street is The Weiner's Circle, a notorious hot dog stand in the heart of the Lincoln Park neighborhood. Now, I don't usually seek out meat -- much less any kind of hot dog -- but on that day I just had to have one. So yes, I ate dessert first and then got my actual meal about 15 minutes later. Which was a Char Polish, and it was excellent.



I found myself craving another one this past Friday, but my husband and I were out in the suburbs, so we went to Hot Doug's instead. Since this "gourmet" hot dog joint was featured on Anthony Bourdain's "13 Places to Eat Before You Die" a while back, there's now always a huge line. My husband waited for 40 minutes in 90-degree weather to get me my polish dog (I was in the air-conditioned car, hee hee); he got a chicken rosemary dog, as well as the famous foie gras dog. Yuck!

We also went out to Red Lobster not too long ago, which was a real treat because -- believe it or not -- there's not one in the city. I used to go there all the time when I lived in Michigan, so I was missing it something fierce. We didn't have a car up until this February, and now we just got a GPS system, so all we had to do was type in "Red Lobster" and then off we went! I truly, truly love their cheesy bread rolls (does anyone NOT love those things?) so of course I ate three of those, got the shrimp-three-ways combo and then we also got some really great mixed drinks -- mine was some sort of mango-berry thing (in the forefront). I was surprised at how tasty it was.

This coming weekend I will continue my quest to regain some poundage as my friend Nerdy P is once again making the trek to Chitown, and we will be continuing our almost-annual tradition of going to the Taste of Chicago. I've written about our past exploits at this ridiculous food fest a few times before (my post about my '09 experience has links to my '06 and '07 trips). Now we are bringing her young son along for the ride for the first time, and her parents, so it's gonna be fun. It's quite a crazy event to witness -- especially if you've never been surrounded by millions of people all crammed into a very small area while trying to eat as much as they can before they pass out from heat exhaustion. I can't wait!

- e

Another Successful Taste of Chicago Visit

The Taste of Chicago food festival has come and gone from The Windy City once more, and I still don't think my digestive system has fully recovered. This year Nerdy P was not able to join me like she has the past several years (do you recall our '06 and '07 adventures?), but my husband's parents were in town and so it was fun to go with people who had never experienced the craziness before.

Those of you following me on Twitter already know the bizarre combination of meats, starches and desserts I downed this year... but are the rest of you ready for the list? Well here it is... I had: a slice of deep-dish spinach pizza, three skewers of sesame beef, a slice of garlic cheese bread, a HUGE piece of Baklava (forgot to mention that one on Twitter), two mini-brownies and a ton of chocolate-covered caramel corn. No, I did not throw up at any point that day -- over the years I must have developed a stomach of steel! (Which, unfortunately, is very different from Abs of Steel.)




While it wasn't as hot as it's been in past years, I did end up getting freakishly sunburned on my arms, which I'm very bitter about as 1) I was carrying sunscreen in my bag but forgot to put it on, and 2) I won't be able to wear anything but long-sleeved shirts until these weird patterns fade. Grr.

Despite the sunburns, we did have a great time at the festival. The low point was seeing the scary dummy I wrote about a few days ago.

Actually, after I published that post I realized that I never mentioned how completely ridiculous it was that the guy controlling that evil-looking puppet was hidden behind a makeshift shelter. I mean, isn't the whole point of having a dummy to make it look like he's really the one talking when you're sitting next to him? I guess whoever was in the black shack had absolutely no ventriloquial (yes, that's a word, I looked it up) skills. He just wanted to haunt everyone's dreams for the rest of eternity.

If he's there next year I'm going to bust down his hideout and shoo him away. Unless The Frozen S'more returns (it wasn't there this year), then I'll be too busy stuffing my face with those.

The Mysterious Purple Blob

Over the past few months, I've been saving up post ideas for this long-neglected site and have a bunch of fun topics that I plan to write about now that Lost has ended its fifth season. But I realized last night that -- as things are still really busy for me over the next few weeks -- I shouldn't kill myself by trying to publish any of the longer pieces in the near term. So I'm going to ease back into my daily "According to e" schedule with short, but hopefully still interesting, commentary about really random stuff.

Which brings me to one of the many road trips to Michigan that my husband and I took earlier this year. We usually stop at Arby's if we have to choose between any of the fast-food options (mmm, curly fries), but for whatever reason, on this particular journey we pulled into a McDonald's drive-through for the first time in a long time. With our order we were each given a tiny bag of McDonaldland cookies.

I have not had McDonaldland cookies in forever. In fact, I wasn't even aware that they were still on the Golden Arches' menu -- and maybe they're not. Maybe the bonus bags they doled out for free were made of all of the leftover cookies once the product was discontinued or something. Who knows... but what struck me as I ate the little shortbread treats was that I had no idea what Grimace -- the bloblike creature featured on one of the cookies -- was. I guess when I was younger I thought that he was supposed to represent a milkshake or something -- those drinks were kind of purplish and certainly would be kind of blobby if you poured one out of its container.

So I decided to do some quick research and found out that not only is Grimace simply an "anthropomorphic purple being" rather than a milkshake, but he was also once a bad guy in McDonald's commercials way back in the day. He also used to rock four arms!?! Here's proof:

As time went on, I guess somebody realized that the shapeless character would work better as one of Ronald's goofy friends. Here's how I remember Grimace:



Wow, I totally forgot about the pirate Captain Crook who would steal Filet-o-fish sandwiches! (He's shown at the very end of the commercial, sitting at the table on the left.) And I definitely have no memory of that crazy professor dude. Watching these commercials as an adult, I'm now pretty sure that everyone involved in creating the McDonaldland characters was taking some serious drugs.

Finally, I learned that Grimace has a crazy Irish uncle who tended to pop up whenever it was Shamrock Shake promotion time. His name is Uncle O'Grimacey... no lie.



I'm happy to have learned that Grimace is nothing more than a big purple globule who happens to like milkshakes... but now I want some answers about Ronald McDonald himself. Who ever thought that a scary-looking clown would make a good mascot for a kid-friendly hamburger chain? I've never seen a not-horrifying version of Ronald. I think Evil Grimace needs to resurface, kidnap Ronald and hide him away in a cave. Down with clowns!

A Cure for Too Much Pizza

Over the last 19 hours, I took down 85% of a large pepperoni and mushroom original crust pizza from Domino's. I don't know what came over me, I just had to have it.

I had found a little flyer on my doorknob promoting the "Gotham City Pizza" earlier this week, so I think that put the idea in my head. The Gotham City Pizza is "cloaked" in pepperoni, which sounded like a little too much processed meat to me, so I didn't go for that option. You can see what it looks like, however, at the very end of this commercial:

So now I don't even want to think about artery-clogging food anymore... I'm feeling quite ill just writing about this. Instead, I'm focusing my thoughts on two lighter, healthier snacks I like to make, so I thought I would share them with you. As I've mentioned before, I pretty much don't cook anything, so these treats are extremely easy to pull together.

Fruit, Honey & Yogurt

The rest of the world has probably been enjoying this combination for years, but I never had it until I was in St. Maarten this past March and they served it at the poolside café. You just chop up a ton of fruit in a bowl (I use strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, blueberries and big green grapes), and then pour a ton of honey (and I do mean a ton... but if you don't have a sweet tooth like I do, you could probably get away with much less) into the top of a plain yogurt cup. I mix the honey into the cup until it's a tan color, and then I pour that over the fruit bowl and mix it up. Voilà!

In St. Maarten they had the honey yogurt in a little side bowl for you to dip the fruit into, so that's an option as well. I'm not even that big of a yogurt fan, but this stuff is gooo--ood.




Apples, Oranges & Fizz

"Apples, Oranges & Fizz" is the not-so-creative name my friend SG and I came up with for this concoction back in elementary school. You just take a scoop or two of orange sherbet and plop it into apple juice. Trust me, it rocks. It sounds like it might be nasty, but I would not lead you astray. I should start selling this stuff down by the lake and see how many takers I get.

Ahh, now the unpleasant memories of last night's pizza are behind me. Until I get another flyer on my doorknob...

- e

Does This Count as a Taco? You Be The Judge.

So as you know, I was in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico a few weekends ago for a wedding. My previous trips to Mexico took me to Cancun (during spring break in college), Cozumel and Chichen Itza (both on stops during cruises).

I wasn't sure what to expect in Playa Del Carmen, but I'm happy to report that I really liked it. It was a very quaint town that had one major street where most of the tourists hung out--5th Avenue--but it wasn't overtly touristy. There were tons of great restaurants, boutique shops and small hotels and it was all very welcoming.

We stayed at the Porto Playa condominiums, which I would highly recommend. They were only one block from the beach and right next to 5th Avenue, and the units were built by local artists using cool stones for the walls and floors. The picture to the right is the interior of the complex... it's like a jungle!

And of course, how could a wedding on the beach not be beautiful? The weather was perfect, the bride was absolutely stunning, and the scenery couldn't get much better. Here is a picture of the wedding site pre-ceremony, and then of the awesome band who played. They liked getting their picture taken...



When not enjoying wedding-related festivities, we explored the town and took in LOTS of Mexican cuisine. We even had guacamole made right at our table one night:


The real drama on the trip, however, occurred when the group I was with debated what qualifies as a "taco." See, I've never had a taco. You know when you have to tell an "interesting fact" about yourself in work groups or for break-the-ice games sometimes? Well, usually I say "Madonna went to my high school." But if I'm with people that already know that little tidbit, then I say "I've never had a taco."

This truly, truly seems to astonish people. (I haven't had salsa, coffee, a burrito, or several vegetables ever, either, while we're at it.) But anyway, this time while in Mexico, my husband was determined that I finally have the quintessential Mexican staple.

So I ORDERED something that was called a taco, but I really don't think it counts. It was literally just a small flour tortilla with chunks of chicken on it (and I smeared some guacamole on it). That's it! No lettuce, tomatoes, or any kind of sauce. When I think of a taco, I think of it at least with shredded lettuce and diced tomatoes (which I also don't eat) covering some sort of meat in a shell. So I maintain that I still haven't eaten a real taco.

What is your take? Here is a picture of the momentous occasion (or of me just eating a tortilla with chicken on it... you be the judge!).


- e

(P.S. I am heading out on another trip, so I will be unable to post again until Monday.)

No Pudge Brownies... The Perfect Food?

If you've been reading my blog for even a short amount of time, you may have gotten the sense that I like sweets. If you got that impression, then you are correct. Chocolate in particular is my weakness... or do I actually get strength from chocolate? I think it's the latter.

Anyway, yesterday I baked up a batch of No Pudge brownies, and thought I should tell you about the wonder of this brand, just in case you weren't aware. I was introduced to No Pudge in grad school, where the closest grocery store was a Whole Foods (before they started popping up everywhere). I've been getting them ever since, going on seven years now. As you may have figured out from the brand name, they are no-fat, low-calorie brownies--a true miracle if I've ever heard of one.

Since I pretty much never cook or bake anything, they had to be reaaaalllly easy in order for me to attempt to make them. And they are. You just pour the bag of mix into a bowl and stir it up with a cup of yogurt. Even I can handle that.

My personal favorite is the "Raspberry," but I've also mixed in flavored yogurts and small fruit chunks to the "Original" mix and they turn out well, too. If you've never tried them before, see if they are at a grocery store near you here.

Even though it is breakfast time right now, I think I'm going to go have one from the batch I made last night just to start this day off on the right note!

- e