Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

The situation is grim and the mood is dark in the penultimate Potter film. Perhaps some fans of the series will enjoy tagging along on Harry, Ron and Hermione's slow, tedious search to find the remaining Horcruxes (until they're distracted with the Hallows), but most will find themselves checking their watches and wondering when something's actually going to happen.

You all know that I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. You might remember when I went to the midnight release party for the final book. When I was still in grad school, I camped out for midnight screenings of the first few movies. And I've enjoyed most of the novels' accompanying film adaptations thus far (with Azkaban being my favorite). But I was not pleased with director David Yates' take on Hallows: Part I. I need to give it more time to sink in, but right now it's my least favorite of all of the movies. Even though I read the book, I still found myself lost by the overabundance of characters (who ARE all these bad guys?) and thrown by the disjointed narrative. Worst of all, I was bored stiff and left the theater feeling like I'd just wasted 2.5 hours of my life.

It was certainly wonderful to see the characters we love so much back on the big screen -- but where was the action? Is this what happens when source material is split in half in order to make more moola from two films? Even two of the most tension-filled parts of the story were pretty lifeless (one's a battle in the sky right at the beginning, and the other is the capture and torture of one of the good guys (you'll get no spoilers from me!))... and these scenes were over before they even got going. When I read these same sequences a few years ago, I remember being tense -- thoroughly scared about what might happen. While watching the film I felt no such emotions. So if Yates couldn't get the best parts of the first half of the book right, then you can imagine what the rest of the adaptation was like. Because no one can deny that much of the final Harry Potter book wasn't that compelling to begin with.

Yates kicks the movie off by reminding viewers of how horrible the state of the world is because of You Know Who's return. Muggles are being killed left and right, and Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) watches as pseudo-brother Dudley and his parents leave town. Hermione (Emma Watson) erases her parents' memories of her to spare them the pain of her upcoming disappearance, which she knows might end in her death. Ron (Rupert Grint) stares out at the burned field behind his house -- the field the Death Eater Bellatrix (Helena Bonham Carter) torched in the last film. The trio is aware that the situation is going to get much worse before it gets better, and they have to find the remaining Horcruxes (pieces of You Know Who's soul) in order to put things right. So they've dropped out of Hogwarts to do just that.

What transpires over the next two and a half hours is the search for the Horcruxes. There's a burst of excitement here and there, but mostly there's just a lot of wandering around, bickering, and waiting. This is exactly what happened in the novel, and my disappointment with the film closely mirrors my disappointment with Rowling's final installment of the series (I'll spare you a repeat of my frustration with specific plot points... it's all there in my book review). Perhaps, then, it's really not Yates' fault that the adaptation is so slowly paced. When you take the kids out of Hogwarts, the school's charm -- or, if I wanted to be corny, I might say the school's magic -- disappears, and at this late point in the series, the plot is too convoluted and the action too spread out to keep viewers' attention.

Was there anything I liked about Deathly Hallows: Part I? Of course. While it's a downright shame that the vast majority of great characters (Snape, Hagrid, Draco, etc.) got almost no screen time, the three leads have really come into their own (after rocky starts) and there were a few of their segments I absolutely loved. One involved Ron's increasing frustration with the mind-numbing pace of their journey (perhaps I liked this scene because I was feeling the same thing?) and his growing insecurities about Harry and Hermione's relationship. Grint is turning out to be a wonderful comedic talent, but HP7 proved he has some dramatic chops as well.

In another lovely scene, viewers were treated to a semi-awkward but 100% endearing moment of bonding between Harry and Hermione at the lowest point of their quest -- it actually brought a tear to my eye.

But for the most part, the film just limped along, going through the motions, trudging toward its completely random conclusion. I mentioned above that the narrative was disconnected -- scenes were pieced together in a way that would make non-Potterheads struggle to figure out what's going on, and even the look and feel of scenes differed dramatically, like they weren't all a part of the same movie -- but nothing epitomized this more than the ending. It was so bizarre and so out-of-nowhere, that when the credits started rolling afterward, the theater I was in was completely silent. No clapping, no reactions, no nothing. I can only assume everyone was in shock at the mess they'd just witnessed. Or they'd already been lulled to sleep an hour earlier.

I know some critics enjoyed Deathly Hallows: Part I, but I've heard from enough Potter fans and have read enough other negative reviews to know that the response is going to be very split on this one. So let me know what you thought! I truly hope you enjoyed the movie more than I did! And let's pray that next year, Part 2 gives the series the awesome conclusion it deserves.

- e

No HP6 in 2008, But We'll Always Have 'The Hills'...

Like a stake through my heart... yesterday I learned that Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince's premiere date has been pushed back until June 2009... and then this afternoon Entertainment Weekly's Fall Movie Preview issue was delivered with none other than Harry on the cover. I guess I wasn't the only one looking forward to November 21st.

It's not fair! Sniff.

The good news is that we will have Harry Potter movies to see in 2009, 2010 and 2011, as they are splitting The Deathly Hallows into two movies. I don't know how I feel about that... if you recall, I wasn't exactly wild about the final book in the HP series. The vast majority of it seemed so slow to me... and now they're going to drag it out across two movies?!?! Shouldn't they have taken out all of the boring stuff and had one rockin' action-packed send-off? Oh, but wait... then Warner Brothers wouldn't have made as much money. Silly me.

At least we have some TV premieres coming up this fall to fill the void. Here's what I plan on tuning in for (so far):

Gossip Girl: September 1

90210: September 2 (I probably won't keep watching this, but I MUST see Brenda and Kelly in the premiere!)

The Office: September 25

Dirty Sexy Money: October 1

Yes, there will be others, but those are the ones I've seen promos for lately, so they're at the top of my mind.

As is The Hills, which is returning to the airwaves this coming Monday, August 18th. I don't know why I'm going to watch it, because I'm sure that the best parts of the entire season have already been covered in this trailer:

It's the show I love to hate, and I've realized that resistance is futile. I will watch this show until the girls shoot one last confused, fleeting glance at each other. Or until it's clear that Justin Bobby will never be on again.

- e

Wizards and Vampires: The HP6 and Twilight Trailers

Last night I had a mini freak-out conniption when, just as I was about to shut down my laptop for the night, I saw that the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince trailer had finally been released. Take a look:

First off, I think it looks incredibly dark and my hopes are rising that this film will actually live up to the awesomeness of the book. They found, once again, the perfect kid to cast as Tom Riddle. He has already given me nightmares. I was totally digging Dumbledore's polka-dot scarf thingy, too. But the best parts, to me, were the Harry and Dumbledore voice-overs at the very end. Chills! Now we just have to wait four more months.

A few of you have written me about the movie Twilight that is coming out in December, based upon the best-selling series by author Stephanie Meyer. I had never even heard of these books, and then was shocked to learn that they are quickly approaching Harry Potter status in both sales and levels of crazy fandom. Then an Entertainment Weekly issue arrived a few weeks ago with the two leads from Twilight on the cover, so I realized I couldn't be left out of the phenomenon any longer. The first book is on its way to my house as I type this.

I'm sure the books are great and I'm excited to read them... in fact, I sat next to a woman my age on the bus yesterday who was holding one of the books in the series, and I asked her what she thought and she replied, "I really didn't think I would be that into them, but they are really good!" However, I gotta say, I'm not feeling the movie trailer quite as much. Yes, I am happy that the main vampire kid, played by the same guy who played Cedric in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, can take over for Shia LaBeouf on my Inappropriate Celebrity Crushes list. But the fact that he is so damn pale in the movie is not helping... and something about the acting just seems off to me, especially with the girl playing Bella. I'm hoping after I read the book my opinion will change. But I know I'll see it no matter what.



For those of you who have read the book, is the trailer worrying you or making you excited to see the movie? The majority of fans, according to this article, seem to be hating on the Entertainment Weekly cover, if nothing else...

- e

It's Never Too Early to Get Hyped for HP 6...

My heart almost stopped when I saw this poster for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - due out this fall. This book was my second-favorite of the series, but I think it's going to be the best of all of the movies.


There are a whole bunch of lame fan-made trailers online, but I did manage to find this legit "sneak peek" video on the production set:

Let the count-down begin!

- e

Enough, JK Rowling!

Friday night, JK Rowling held a reading and a question and answer session for a packed audience at Carnegie Hall. This event signaled the end of the first book tour she has done in the United States for the past seven years. While responding to a fan's question about whether Dumbledore ever had a true love, she confirmed what many had suspected all along - that Dumbledore was gay.

Now, I don't have any problem with that, per se. But what I do have a problem with is the fact that JK Rowling continues to shell out what I consider to be key information about ALL of her characters long after the final Harry Potter installment went to press. In addition to the insight on Dumbledore, she also proclaimed who Neville Longbottom ends up with, and whether or not Hagrid ever finds a Mrs. If you remember, at very end of my Deathly Hallows review, I linked to information on Wikipedia and MSNBC that compiles all of the additional details that Ms. Rowling had revealed about our favorite wizardly peeps through interviews. I was annoyed about it back then, too. I just don't understand why she keeps doing this. Isn't anything supposed to be left to the imagination? Why doesn't she write another freaking book if she has that much left to say?!?!

If you can't tell, I'm pretty bitter about her latest slew of divulgences. Let us come to our own conclusions!

- e

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows - e's review (spoilers!)

First off, to all of you who still haven't read or finished the book:
1) You are either the slowest readers of all time, or...
2) You are not true Harry Potter fans.

Don't be poseurs! If you were a REAL fan you would have gotten the book in your hands as soon as possible, and then you would've made it your life's goal to finish it before the mass media leaked everything. (Amazingly, that never really happened, did it? But still, if you were a real fan you would've taken no chances!!!)

So if you intend on reading the book, hurry up and do it already, because I'm going to cover all of the details of The Deathly Hallows in this post. Stop reading now if you don't want to ruin it for yourself!

Now that I've put all of the appropriate disclaimers in place, we can get on with it.

Here is my one sentence review: The beginning rocked and the end was mostly good, but the rest was pretty much poop.

Yeah, I said it! I haven't read that many reviews of the book, but all of the ones I did read made it seem like the book was all awesome. Well, I'm sorry to be a hater, but I cannot tell a lie. It just wasn't that good, and I will spend the rest of this post defending my one-sentence statement above.

But first, you should know what I thought was going to happen. I definitely knew Harry would live... there was no doubt in my mind about that. What kind of message would THAT send if evil freakin' triumphs?!?! Helllooooo... the book's have been dark, but not that dark. I had heard (because there was no avoiding it) that at least two major characters would die, so I thought Hagrid would die near the beginning, and that would serve as a motivator for Harry to finish off HWMNBN as the rest of the book progressed. I thought Snape would die near the end, and that it would be fairly obvious that he was sacrificing himself to save Harry, but that he would seem extra-evil up until that point. I was slightly scared for Ron, because I figured if Harry wasn't going to die, Ron's death could also serve as a huge motivator for Harry to ensure that Good Prevailed. I knew Hermione would never die. I thought that Draco would turn good at some key moment in the book, and I also figured that Neville would play some major role. Several people had told me beforehand that they thought perhaps Neville would actually be the one to kill HWMNBN, and that the whole prophecy had been about Neville the entire time. I definitely considered that to be a valid possibility. I also knew that there would be some cheesy scene near the end where Dumbledore would be shown smiling down at Harry from his portrait (TOTALLY called that one - check the bottom of page 747). As we now know, most of what I thought would happen - though not way off - was still wrong.




The beginning = awesome

I gotta give props to J.K. Rowling for her upfront fake-out - she had me wavering a bit in my confidence that Harry would not die by including the two passages about death and friendship in the epigraph. I read them, and then sat there for a few moments, stunned in my armchair, near tears. My mind started racing... "Is this her way of making the little kids feel better about Harry dying at the end?" I mean, they were very positive quotes about death, like about how death's not that bad and friendship survives even in death, and all that crap. We of course now know from Dumbledore's chat with Harry in the limbo-world that since Harry was not afraid to die in order to save everyone else, that that was the key to his victory and HWMNBN's demise. So the quotes were still fitting when it was all said and done, but as I sat there on the morning of the 21st, not knowing what would happen, they caused a chilled pang of terror in my heart.

And then I began my 11-hour journey...

No one can deny that the first 175 pages of book seven were probably the most action-packed beginning of any book in the entire series - truly edge-of-your-seat reading.

Things I liked:
- Dudley finally came around
- The escape from Privet Drive and the battle in the sky - I can't wait to see how they do the multiple Harrys in the movie.
- The fact that I was POSITIVE that Hagrid was going to bite it... but that he survived. As I mentioned above, I was sure that he would die in the beginning of the book, so since that was in the back of my mind, I was growing increasingly stressed during chapter four, thinking: "Oh #($)*%()#$, I'm right! But I don't want him to die!!!"
- Kingsley's Patronus's appearance at Bill and Fleur's wedding reception, announcing: "The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming." When I read that part, I was yelling, "Get the hell outta there, peeps!!!! Run like the wind!"

What I didn't like:
- Hedwig dying. I feel like that was gratuitous on top of sloppy writing. Fine, kill Mad-Eye Moody to ensure everyone understands that the mission was dangerous and had consequences... but Hedwig? That seemed like an easy way to get rid of the owl and cage rather than having to mention Hedwig throughout the rest of the book or explain how she survived the fall. It would've been better had Harry opened the cage during the battle and let Hedwig fly away, and then at the end she returned to him. Don't you agree? Needless.




The middle = mostly poop

Chapter Ten, when they reached Grimmauld Place and heard Kreacher tell the story of Regulus stealing the Horcrux, is the point at which I thought things took a turn for the worse. Now, I know that Hermione would say that I am prejudiced against house-elves, but the elves (because they are NOT cool elves like in LOTR) have always been my least favorite part of the series. It's like J.K. Rowling was trying to get too many "issues" covered in the books, so she threw in the whole "house-elf rights" plot line. But anyway, everyone I know had already guessed that "R.A.B." on the locket from book five was going to be Regulus, so that "reveal" was fairly anti-climactic. I really did not dig any of the book again until Chapter Twenty-Three (when the three friends were being held at Malfoy Manor)... but then after that chapter the story resumed its boringness.

Things I liked:
- When Lupin was acting all shady when he visited Grimmauld Place, it seemed like he could possibly be bad, so I liked that we were kept guessing about him for a bit. Side-note: Lupin is/was one of my favorite characters.

- When Ron left, I wondered if either: 1) he would get captured, put under some spell and do something bad or 2) he would die... so I think the fact that she had him leave helped build suspense. I also liked that he was the one to save Harry in the pond and to destroy the locket.

- The chapter at Malfoy Manor was the first bit of real tension in the middle part of the book... I honestly thought for about a half of a millisecond that Hermione might be a goner, but in a sick and twisted way I am glad that she got tortured but didn't give up anything. Girl power! It was also pretty heart-wrenching to read Ron's reaction to hearing Hermione being tortured above him.

- When all of the stuff was multiplying in the Gringotts vault, I thought immediately that that would be another cool scene for the film version.

- I really liked that Dumbledore's brother, Aberforth, helped them out, and that it was his eye that Harry had been seeing in the mirror. I totally missed the many references to him in the other books. So that was clever.


What I didn't like:
- ALL OF THAT TIME when they just hung around Grimmauld Place, or moved around in the forests doing nothing. Bor-ing. It seemed like 5 years went by, and therefore I kept thinking, "Well, the war against HWMNBN must not be THAT bad if nothing's happening that they catch wind of." I don't blame Ron for leaving! By the time Harry and Hermione confronted that old lady who was possessed by the snake and she supposedly almost killed Harry, I didn't even care. I knew that there was still too much of the book left for anything major to happen at that point.

- Dobby's death. I didn't mind so much that he died (see above regarding my dislike of the elves in the books), but they seemed to spend a disproportionate amount of time on his death, versus, say, Hedwig's or any of the humans' deaths?!?! It was too much.






The ending = good

My official judgment of when the book started redeeming itself from over 400 pages of dullness was on page 597, when Snape announced: "It is I" and confronted Professor McGonagall in Hogwarts, which preceded the huge battle-to-end-all-battles on the school grounds.

What I liked:
- I liked that Harry tried to rescue Draco, Crabbe and Goyle when Crabbe's spell backfired (literally). To have left them to die would've perhaps been justified, but not very Harry-like. But Crabbe did end up paying the ultimate price for his eeevilness.

- All of Snape's memories were awesome - I was hoping that we would finally get his entire back-story. I was a tad disappointed that no one else got to see that he was actually protecting Harry all along - as I mentioned near the beginning of this post, I figured he would go down in a blaze of self-sacrificing glory and would redeem himself for all of his sketchy actions to date. Yet, he died quietly, alone, with just Harry watching hidden from behind the wall. It was sad. I always liked Snape and believed that he would turn out to be good - and anyone who thought at the end of book six that Dumbledore hadn't already asked Snape to kill him (if it came down to that) is dumb. Now that I've thought it over for a while, I think it is good that Snape didn't put on some obvious display of bravery or sacrifice in the end. It was really just luck that Harry was there to catch his memories, wasn't it? So I liked that Snape remained, to the end, perhaps the most complex character of the series. He was not an entirely bad person (how wonderfully sappy was it that his Patronus was a doe because that was Lily's?), but he certainly was not all good, either (many people died or were hurt because he was playing a double-agent). Harry better be thankful that he had such a cool mom or else Snape would've never been driven to look after him. I think that having his future kid's middle name be Snape, rather than Severus, would've been a more fitting tribute, though.

- Unlike books four and six, where I was bawling my eyes out at every turn, I only teared up three times in this final installment: 1) When I read the two passages about death in the epigraph, 2) when Hedwig died and when I also simultaneously thought Hagrid was a goner at the beginning, and 3) when Harry went into the forest, thinking that he was going to die. That scene where he faced off against HWMNBN and Hagrid was going nuts just killed me. It also killed me again later when they made Hagrid carry what he thought was Harry's dead body out of the forest. I love Hagrid!


What wasn't good:
- The lack of explanation as to why, exactly, Lily married James Potter. We never saw him being much more than a jerk to other people, did we?

- The random screaming of "You bitch!" by Mrs. Weasley to Bellatrix seemed very, very out of place and out of character. Almost everyone I've talked to hated that part.

- Lupin dying - because he was one of my favorites. I realized, however, that he and Tonks were supposed to die to once again create an orphan - Teddy.

- Colin Creevey dying. Once again - totally gratuitous. I mean, seriously - what point did that serve to kill off the teeny kid that idolized Harry? The battle was mostly over by that point. It seemed like it was just done for shock value, and it annoyed me.

- The whole "exposé on Dumbledore" subplot (which I realized started at the very beginning, but I chose to bring it up here since it ended with Harry's talk with Dumbledore in the limbo-world) was lame. LAME, I say! And you know what else? I declare the entire "Deathly Hallows" subplot weak! Yes, I realize that the Deathly Hallows were apparently so important that they became the title of the book, but if you think about it, everything that they accomplished for the story line could have been achieved in other ways. They were just one big confusing distraction, and quite frankly, I still don't really understand what was going on with the Deathly Hallows. So if J.K. Rowling took out everything about Dumbledore's past as well as the Hallows, she could've made up the legend of the "Elder wand" through some other (and quicker) means, and that would have enabled her to still have HWMNBN be on his obsessive quest for the wand, and all of the plot that revolved around the wand could stay intact. The Invisibility Cloak has always existed in these books, so if she never provided any "explanation" for it, tell me truly, would you have even thought twice? No, you wouldn't have. As for the Resurrection Stone, that annoyed me because Harry has seen the spirits of his parents in the past without the stone. She could've just had him encounter his parents, Lupin, Tonks, Sirius, etc. in that limbo-world where he met Dumbledore, and that would've sufficed. Granted, I think she was trying to really convince us all that Harry was going to die, and that HE believed he was going to die, so that is why he wanted to see all the "spirits" BEFORE going to face HWMNBN, to gain courage and support. I'm just saying I think that she could've thought up another way for him to summon those spirits without needing the back-story of the Hallows. And if that was the case, they would've never needed to visit Luna's dad, either. So many annoying parts of the book would disappear and only the good stuff would be left. If someone has an argument as to why the Deathly Hallows and Dumbledore's back-story really, truly needed to be in the book, let me know, I'm all ears on this one.

- Dumbledore's baffling explanation for the majority of happenings in the book when he spoke to Harry in the limbo-world. I just re-read the part about "Voldemort having a drop of Harry's blood in him so Harry was the seventh Horcrux but Dumbledore wasn't really sure if Harry wouldn't die when Voldemort tried to kill him this time" and all that crap and I am still confused. How in the heck can young kids follow this?!??! And it should be a sign that the plot is too labyrinthine when AFTER everyone's read the book, the author has to hold several Q&A sessions to explain what in the hell happened (I will cover that later).

Now, obviously, I love these books, so I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. I could never, ever write fiction and have enormous respect for anyone who can, so I'm not dissing J.K. Rowling - she's one of my heroes. I'm just saying that I honestly thought the final book was very convoluted, and I'm really not sure why Ron, Hermione and Harry couldn't have just stuck to trying to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes (which is probably what the vast majority of readers figured book seven would be about as book six ended). The last installment would've been shorter, yes, but it also would've been more suspenseful and the plot would've been tighter. While I've talked to others who liked the book a lot more than I did, no one can deny that it dragged in the middle.

My final complaint is about the Epilogue. That was probably the worst part of the book for me. It was like she needed to have the main characters sire a bunch of children so that she could ensure everyone who died had someone named after them - it was so forced. I know that she must have wanted to truly wrap up the story and not leave any room for speculation about what might have happened right after HWMNBN was defeated, but I would have preferred a more subtle postscript. The only awesome part was that Malfoy named his kid Scorpius!!! How sweet is that? I think I laughed out loud at that part, in a good way.

Having said all that, I AM GLAD that it all ended well for Harry ("All was well") and that he and his peeps finally found some peace. I am also glad that Ron and Hermione ended up together. I never really took to Ginny, but if Harry's happy, then I'm happy.

I think that by reading the book for eleven hours straight, it clouded my judgment a bit. I don't recommend doing that. I will probably read it again one day, perhaps three or so years from now right before the movie comes out, and I'm sure I'll like it more then. Four remains my favorite book, with six being a close second. And like I said before, the books may be over, but at least two movies still lie ahead!

If you are still jonesing for more Harry Potter... here are two links for you:

1) J.K. Rowling has discussed many more details about what happened to most of the characters! I was kind of mad reading all of this - it's major stuff and it's not fair that not everyone knows about it. Either put it in the book or leave it to our imagination, sheesh.

2) This is a compilation of many answers J.K. has given about a wide variety of subjects - ranging from "rumors" to her thoughts on the movies to questions about the final book.


I am depressed that the saga is over, but the good thing about books is that they can always be re-read. One day we will all feel REALLY OLD when some little kid is amazed that we were alive when the books first came out. But for now, it is time to bid adieu to Ron, Hermione and Harry.

I miss them already.

- e

Great article on Harry 7

Just read the cover story in the latest Entertainment Weekly issue - it was excellent (perhaps because it justified my reasoning for going to the midnight party). If you are a Harry Potter fan, you should take a look!

- e

This Ain't No Stinkin' Wand?!?! The Harry Potter Midnight Party (no spoilers, don't worry)

As stated previously, I will wait a while before sharing my thoughts on the final Harry Potter book (which I did finish reading in 11 hours on the 21st)... but for now, here's my debrief on the midnight book release party.

And even if you don't read the Harry Potter books (you are missing out...)... I think you will enjoy this post.

The preparation
On Friday, I took a nap in the evening in order to be fresh and alert when it came time to depart for the Harry Potter midnight party. Usually it takes me about 3 hours to actually fall asleep - so I faintly remember being really excited that I could feel myself drifting off after having only been in bed for about 25 minutes.

But then, a huge "BOOOOOMMMMM!!!!" startled me back into consciousness, my dog jumped up, and a few seconds later I could hear the alarm going off in my building's storage room - it was the alarm on the sump pump.

I pulled myself onto my feet and then realized that my clock wasn't working. Nor were the lights... or the phone... or the Internet connection. Everything was out - the loud boom must have either been the cause or the result of a massive power outage. Cursing myself that I hadn't charged my cell phone, I used some of its remaining battery to call my upstairs neighbor to ensure that it wasn't just my unit having problems. He, too, figured it was an issue for the whole block. And the second I hung up with him, ambulances and sirens started blaring down the street - I felt bad for all the people inevitably stuck in high-rise elevators.

Then my thoughts turned toward the party that was supposed to take place in a mere six hours - oh no! The Borders store in my neighborhood may have also been affected by the outage! What if they couldn't ring up the sales that night?!?! What if they couldn't have the party... WHAT IF I COULDN'T GET MY BOOK????

While I was shutting off the sump pump alarm and then consoling myself with cookies & cream ice cream (why let it go to waste if everything in the freezer was going to melt?), I started devising a Plan B. It involved stalking little children coming out of other bookstores after midnight in surrounding neighborhoods. But luckily, 45 minutes later, lights flew back on, electronics started blinking, and I heaved a sigh of relief. And then went back to bed.

I was lucky enough to be joined by MB, a fellow nerd and Harry Potter fan, for the shindig. While I had reserved my copy of The Deathly Hallows several months ago at the Borders in my 'hood, she had hers being delivered on Saturday from barnesandnoble.com. I convinced her, however, that this was a historic cultural event and that she therefore must experience it with me - with the added bonus of getting the book earlier and being able to read it for a few hours the next morning before her B&N shipment arrived (every minute counts!).

Alas, when she called Borders the day prior to the party, they said that they had shut the reservation list two weeks ago, and that she would therefore have to be on the "wait list," and was not guaranteed a book. She was nice enough to put an order of two books under her name on the wait list (the other was for my husband who suddenly realized that he didn't want to wait for me to finish the book - he wanted us to read it simultaneously). Since the Borders employee had told MB that they had so many people on the reservation list that they expected to not get through ringing up those people until 3 AM, we were prepared for a long night (hence my nap).

Aside from reservation lists and wait lists, Borders also devised a wristband system to attempt to control all the eager readers and keep them from bum-rushing the registers at midnight. They started doling out wristbands at 9 AM Friday morning, and the color that you got would determine what "wave" you would be a part of in the line. It just so happened that MB was going to be working from home that day, so she was nice enough to go to the store, assume my identity and score a wristband in the second wave for me. We were all set to go and planned to meet at the store at 11 PM - early enough to experience the mayhem but late enough to not get sick of everyone by the time midnight rolled around.

The event
It was less crowded than we had expected... but then we realized that they had separated out all of the holders of the different colors of wristbands onto different levels of the store (there are three levels), so alas, true Harry Hysteria was not going to be ours to witness. They had balloons and decorations all around, but since the silver wristband-holders were told to go downstairs, we didn't waste time in checking out the scene - we wanted to get in line. I was told that I would get my poster and my wand (promised in the email touting the event) at check-out. I thought that was lame because I wanted to play with the wand right away!

We went downstairs... there was a snaking trail of clear masking tape that wound all around the "Movies and Music" section of the lower level - about half of it was already occupied, so we got in line behind a teenage girl who appeared to be wearing some sort of ball gown, and her mother, who looked almost exactly like Professor Trelawney. They are both in the picture to the left, although the mom is kind of hidden. Only a handful of people had on costumes... one woman had a school outfit and a "Potter Stinks!" button, another had a "Weird Sisters" concert t-shirt, a group of friends wore Harry glasses and lightning bolt scars.

We waited and waited and waited. I saw that Trelawney had some stickers, so I ran upstairs to see if they were giving them out up there. Score! A Borders employee gave me two sets of stickers (one for me, one for MB) - one to wear if you thought Snape would turn out to be good, and one if you thought he was bad. You can see them in the picture at the beginning of this post.

They also gave out raffle coupons to everyone (the prize was to jump ahead in the line and be the first one to get the book) and little glow-sticks (both also pictured at the top of this post).

One of the funniest aspects of the night was the Borders employee who kept coming over the loudspeaker and shouting orders at everyone. I have his speech memorized still, nearly a week later: "SILVER WRISTBANDS!!!! Silver wristbands, you should be downstairs in Movies & Music. But if you have a silver DOT, not a wristband but a silver DOT, you are on the WAIT LIST and must wait until everyone in the reservations line has gotten their book before we call you. Once again, silver DOTS, not wristbands but DOTS, are on the wait list."

This announcement, or some variant of the same message, was hollered over the speakers about every 10 minutes. The best was when he came on and said, "ORANGE wristbands... I'm assuming you are smart enough to know that you are the first wave and should be in line on the main floor."

Uhhh... obviously not everyone was smart enough to know that if he had to make the announcement. Another excellent tirade was: "IF YOU MISS YOUR WAVE... IF YOUR COLOR HAS ALREADY GONE THROUGH THE LINE AND YOU HAVE MISSED IT... then you will need to get at the back of the LAST LINE in order to get your book!!!!" Groans all around. This guy was evil!!! That would be just rude if you had an orange wristband and missed the first wave and were made to wait three more hours for everyone else to go through? Damn, the Borders employees were hard-core! They must be on the side of He Who Must Not Be Named!

As it neared midnight, the same guy got on the microphone and announced that they knew that they were going to sell out of all of the books that they had, so if anyone had just walked into the store who wasn't on the reservation list or the wait list, they should just leave and come back the next day to see if any more books were delivered. He also said that it was not a guarantee that people on the wait list would get a book. MB and I looked at each other worriedly... I didn't want her to have spent hours waiting in line with me to NOT get a book!?!?! We would find a way!!! Unfortunately, believe it or not, I only saw two or three younger kids at the party, so there wasn't really anyone I could accost to steal a book from later. Everyone was college age or much older.

Now we come to my favorite part of the night. Two guys that were probably in their late teens or early 20s (I'm not good at guessing ages), who can be seen in the picture above, came up to hang with Trelawney and Ball Gown Chick. They didn't know them, I believe they just wanted to talk to other people who had dressed up. The guys had made a half-ass effort at costumes... they had on extremely wrinkly white button-downs, ties and "broomsticks" (one was a mop, one was a crappy plastic broom).

At first I thought they were nice guys and that they were just extremely excited about the book coming out. When I passed by them with my "Trust Snape" sticker displayed proudly on my arm, one of them muttered, "Snape is a goddamn traitor." He said it so seriously that I got the biggest kick out of it, and MB and I thought they were hilarious. But then I overheard some of the conversation they were having - or should I say - the ARGUMENT they were having, with people around us. They started off by loudly proclaiming the fact that they had placed bets on an event that would happen in the book, making a girl standing behind them literally yelp and plead them to not say any more (and no, it wasn't about whether Harry lived or died, it was something more detailed than that). I can tell you now that what they predicted with such assurance did NOT come to pass in the story, but at the time even I was thinking, "Wow, I cannot believe they just said that." While they honored the request not to shout out any other potential spoilers and didn't move on to any new topics, they did continue to make an argument for why their previously predicted event in the book would indeed happen. After Trelawney and Ball Gown Chick fought back with logical reasoning, the guy on the right in the picture hollered, "Do you KNOW the mind of a wizard?!?!?" They then got into a heated discussion - and I have to admit, they knew their facts about the characters. The battle ended with them mumbling something about "glass ceilings for witches" and then a Borders employee came and made them get back to their place in line because they were disturbing the peace.

The countdown
Annoying Speaker Guy got back on the microphone as midnight neared. He ordered everyone to activate their glow-sticks, and that they were going to turn off the lights. Sweet! This was gonna rock!

Well, it sucked. I swear to you, they turned off ONE light bulb. I'm sure there was some lame fire code restriction that prevented them from engulfing the store in darkness, but it really, really ruined the effect to have everyone waving their glow-sticks around in a fully-lighted room.

Then they did the raffle drawing... and no one on my floor won.

And then they did the countdown... the speaker guy was in his glory now: "OK EVERYBODY!!!!! EVERYBOOODDDDDYYYY!!!!! WE ARE GOING TO DO A COUNTDOWN! LISTEN, JUST BE QUIET FOR A FEW MINUTES!!!!! WE ARE GOING TO DO A COUNTDOWN!!!! IT IS ALMOST MIDNIGHT!!!! BEEEEE QUIIIIIEEETTTTT!!!!!

TEN!
NINE!
EIGHT!
SEVEN!
SIX!
FIVE!
FOUR!
THREE!
TWO!
ONE!!!!!!!!
IT'S MIDNIGHT!!!! YAY, HARRY POTTER!!!! THE SEVENTH AND FINAL BOOK IS HERE!!!!!"

Let's just say that that guy isn't going to be taking over Dick Clark or Ryan Seacrest's spot on New Year's Rockin' Eve any time soon... once again, since we were separated from everyone else in the store, it was kind of anti-climactic. Give me my book, already!

Less than twenty minutes later, the Silver Wristbands' time had come - they herded us upstairs. But then we just had to wait and wait and wait some more in the long line that stretched across the main level. I ran to see if they had the rice-krispie-treat-lightning-bolt-thing that they had for the Book Six party, but alas, they only had all the typical Harry Potter goodies that you can buy anywhere at any time, so I was disappointed.

But that was not my biggest disappointment of the night. As we neared the registers, I stopped a Borders employee who was carrying around a wand.

"So, we get our wands at the check-out, right?"
She stared blankly. "What do you mean?"
"On the email invite, it said that you get a free wand."
She held up the glow-stick that hung around her neck. "This is the wand."


WHHHHHAAAAATTTTTTTT?!!?!?!?!? Awwww, HELL NO!

The lame-ass GLOW-STICK was the WAND?!?!?! No it wasn't?!!!! NO IT WASN'T!!!!
Never in a million years would anyone mistake that little teeny thing for a wand (look up at the top picture again - you cannot deny it!).

I was fuming.

But my anger quickly dissipated as I became the next in line. I spotted a sign at each register that said "No more than three books per guest." I looked at MB, who would not be able to get her book (or my husband's) for hours still, as they were checking wristbands at the registers, and she was on the wait list.

It was my turn. I strode up to the register and confidently stated, "I have three."
"Let me see your wristband."
Check!
"Do you have your reservation number?"
Check! I pulled out my sticky note containing the number. He barely glanced at it.
"OK."

He loaded up the books on to the counter, I paid and then whisked them all into my backpack, and then MB and I headed out of the store and waited until we were in the clear to celebrate our victory. MB got her book and my husband would owe me big-time for securing him one as well. And I got my poster (what I'm going to do with it, exactly, I haven't figured out. Perhaps paint it while it's still rolled up to look like a wand?).

The aftermath
It was a triumphant night. MB and I made plans to check in with each other during the day on Saturday to compare progress and thoughts on what had transpired in the book. She went her way and I went mine.

It was a dark, dark night. I made sure to take off my Snape sticker so as to not alert any ne'er-do-wells to the fact that I had just left the Harry Potter party. However, I forgot that I still had the frickin' glow-stick - OH, EXCUSE ME, WAND - hanging around my neck... besides the fact that I was carrying a huge poster and being weighed down by two ginormous books in my backpack.

I crossed in front of a semi-sketchy bar on the way back to my place. Two guys, probably in their late 30s, were standing in front of the entrance. I could tell that they had been eying me for some time as I approached. One of them yelled out to me:
"Is it ON you?"
Oh, crap.
I just pursed my lips into a weak smile and walked a bit faster.
"Holy shit, is it ON YOU right now? Do you have Harry Potter in your backpack?"
Awwww, CRAP. Now I really needed a wand! Where were those broomstick and mop guys to protect me?!?!

But it was OK. As I was safely past them, they shouted out one last question:
"Just take it out, flip to the last page and tell me what happens... PLEASE!?!?!?"


See, EVERYONE loves Harry Potter.

I got home around 1 AM... not bad at all. I put the books out on the kitchen table, arranged my stickers, poster and faux-wand next to the books and got ready for bed. I know this sounds lame because I am a grown woman, but the party really was fun and I DID feel like I was part of some international cultural event. These books are going to be loved forever and each of them was only released for the first time ONCE.

A shout-out to MB for going with me, a shout-out to ComEd for restoring the electricity in time, and a shout-out to everyone who loves Harry Potter and who read it or is reading it as anxiously as I did. My write-up on the book itself will come in about a week, and if you haven't read it by then, well, then you are slow!

- e

The Countdown Begins for HP 7 (no spoilers here, duh!)

T-Minus 31 hours until your faithful blogger e will be pushing little kids out of the way to get a better spot in line at the midnight party for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! Surely you didn't think I would wait until Saturday to get it, did you?

Actually, I considered it for about .15432 milliseconds because I'm a loser and my bedtime is usually 10:30 and I feel old and tired, but then I remembered that I will get a free three-foot poster of the book jacket art AND (drumroll please) a free glow-in-the-dark WAND at the party!!!! If you are wondering if I will be so cruel as to steal some eight-year-olds' wands so I have more for myself, all I can say is... maybe I will and MAYBE I WILL!!!! Watch out kiddies, Auntie e is in the hiz-ouse and she will take no prisoners when it comes to getting the final Harry Potter book and/or any related freebies! Get out tha way! What will be even funnier is when I come into work on Monday with all the wands and attempt to put hexes on people. They already think I'm crazy, why not remove all doubt?

I am debating about how early I should get there Friday night. I'm thinking 11:30 pm or so; I want to be able to bask in the excitement and anticipation for the grand finale of the series, but I don't want my patience with the other geeky fans to wear thin. I'm just hoping that they have this rice krispie treat thing with frosting on it that is shaped like Harry's lightning bolt scar that they had a few years ago at the book six party. Shout-out to my cousin Brad who went to that party with me - you will be missed this weekend!

My intention is to then go home, get a good night's sleep, and spend the majority of Saturday and Sunday reading the book, with the hopes of finishing it before the idiots in the mass media ruin it for everyone. No, I have paid no attention to all the spoilers already out there. And while we're on that subject - does anyone really understand WHY someone would leak the book or anything about it? Seriously, think about it for a few seconds... nothing good can come of it. No one's going to give you money, if they find you you're going to get sued or worse, you are ruining a truly joyful occasion for millions upon millions of people (most of whom are kids), and by and large, no one will even know who you are (as most spoilers out there seem to be posted or uploaded anonymously). Perhaps the Grinch's heart has shrunk again and he is now targeting Harry Potter events instead of Christmas? Who knows. What I will say is this - I'm reading the book no matter what, and if I should happen to hear something against my will, I will just figure that it's not right and therefore I still just have to read the book for myself.

But even though I may have stolen some kiddies' wands and pushed them out of the way to get the book in my hands - believe you me... if someone at the party ruins it for those kids, I will unleash the 'Wrath of e,' which is not a pretty sight and has only been unleashed a handful of times in the past three decades. I will kick the offender over and then pounce on him, and all of the boys and girls at the party will follow my orders to pile up on the evil-doer until he is hauled away by the police. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

I will predict my reaction to finishing the book - I'm going to bawl my head off - probably for about a half-hour. I am going to become deeply depressed. I'm not going to want to talk about it for a few days. And then about two weeks from now, I will write up my overall thoughts on the book (so those of you who are going to read it - you have 14 days to catch up with me!) and launch into a downward spiral all over again. It doesn't matter what actually happens in the book, I know I will feel all of the emotions above, because of the simple fact that it is OVER. Sure, maybe when J.K. Rowling has slipped to, say, the 4th richest woman in the galaxy, she may write more books about this wizarding world that we've come to know and love. But it will never be the same.

I read the first three books in 2000 when I was on a crazy trip around the world for The Man. I bought them in Paris and read them back-to-back in a matter of days - I finished up The Prisoner of Azkaban in Australia and remember vividly (which is a big deal, because I have no memory anymore!) lying there in the hotel bed, crying. I wasn't crying because anything was sad, I was crying because I loved the books so much. Yes, I am an overly-emotional freak, that should already be known. Lucky me, though... I then had literally only days to wait for The Goblet of Fire to come out in July of that same year. At that point, I was dating the guy who would end up becoming my husband, and I remember finishing book four on his futon and I was sobbing so hard that I forbade him from coming into the room or speaking to me for a full hour. Book five, as I mentioned in a previous post, was read on our honeymoon. And reading The Half-Blood Prince was one of the highlights of an overall crappy year in e's life - the sobbing at the end of that one occurred just a room away from where I sit now.

Now here I am, seven years after picking up the series, and I feel like stomping around and pouting in protest about coming to the end of such a fantastic journey. I can't imagine what I would feel like if I was a kid and read these books starting from when they came out in 1997... imagine being seven years old and now being 17 when it's all said and done! You literally GREW UP with Harry Potter! I'm jealous of those kids. But I will still spare no mercy if any of them get in between me and my reserved copy tomorrow night!

Until then, happy reading... and, this should go without saying, don't send me any spoilers. I will put a voodoo curse on you, you will attract extremely bad karma, and I won't post your comment anyway!

But I have a feeling none of MY readers are that mean-spirited. For those of you who love the characters just as much as I do, when I'm sitting in my fluffy robe in my recliner, sipping my tea while racing through the pages hour after hour, I will think of you and hope you are having as much fun as I am. And remember, when you're through with the book - take solace in the fact that we still have the final two movies ahead of us!

- e

e Really Digs Harry Potter 5 - the movie

(If you have not read HP5, then skip this post as I refer to major plot points and happenings and you will be spoiled)

Harry Potter fans, rejoice! All of those movies reviews you've been reading that claim Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is slow, boring, or just so-so, are WRONG! I saw it last night and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it, since the 5th book was my least favorite of the series thus far. I remember struggling to finish it on the way back from my honeymoon, cramped in my seat, annoying everyone else who was suffering through one of the longest flights in the world (not kidding: South Africa to New York) by keeping my reading light on, and thinking, "Harry is annoying the crap out of me in this one! This book is kind of poop?!?!"

Therefore, I had extremely low expectations for the film version. I had heard that they cut out many scenes, including the prominent "Ron playing on the Quidditch team" subplot (fine by me, that stuff always bored me), but upon reading a recap of the book, I now realize that they deleted much more than that. What was left of the story were the essentials, and even that clocked in at over two hours on the screen. As I was captivated from the beginning to the end of the movie, I think they did a marvelous job.

Three random, nerdy observations:

1) I realized that Hagrid's hound, Fang, despite being a different color, looked a heck of a lot like the bizarro dog in the painting in Jacob's cabin on Lost. That would be the ultimate cross-over!!

2) In the scene where Sirius dies, Harry is held back by Lupin and everything goes silent and slo-mo, and I couldn't help but think of the scene where Frodo and the hobbits all freak out after Gandalf falls to his apparent death after his battle with the Balrog. Yes, this IS how my mind works!

3) Similarly, in the scene where Voldemort (he doesn't scare me, I'll say his name!) and Dumbledore are having their Ultimate Wizard Duel, it reminded me of Gandalf and Saruman's wicked-awesome battle in Fellowship of the Ring.

So much nerdiness, I'm about to explode! I love wizards! I am quite sure that in a past life I was somehow connected to Merlin himself.

Anyway, back to HPATOOTP - other high points included Luna Lovegood - the actress who plays her is just spot on - great job, casting peeps! Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange was also a perfect choice - and while she wasn't in the movie for very long - she kicked butt in the few minutes she was on screen. I think Bellatrix is the 80s-era-Cyndi Lauper's long-lost cousin with that funky hair and awful outfit. On to Snape... who, as always, rocked the house with his drole one-liners and his obvious disdain for Harry. And speaking of Harry - good God, is he a cutie?!? If loving Harry is wrong, I don't want to be right!!

Low points included Cho - the recipient of Harry's first kiss. She was pretty lame (or perhaps I'm just jealous). Hagrid's half-brother, the giant Grawp, looked plastic and fake... surprising for a movie series that so far has had excellent, realistic effects. Another negative about the movie was that no one character, besides Harry, was in it for very long. This was a very Henry-centric movie and at the end I realized that I missed having my fill of Dumbledore, Hagrid, Snape, and even Malfoy?!?!

And I can't talk about the movie without mentioning Delores Umbridge, the ultra-evil new professor/representative of the Ministry of Magic, played expertly by Imelda Staunton. Soooo creepy and nasty - she did a top-notch job and made me hate her character just like I did when I read the book. The scene where Harry has to write lines that are then burned into his skin made me want to jump through the screen and bust out a Tae-Bo roundhouse kick to her head!

So definitely go see this movie... if you haven't read the book then you may be a little lost, but it really held my attention and everyone I've talked to who has seen it agreed that they didn't understand why it was getting mixed reviews.

Just one more week til the midnight party for book seven?!?!? Yeah, you know I will be there with all the kiddies - I just got an email from Borders saying that they're giving out free wands!!! YESSSSS!

- e

The Harry Potter Theme Park

On Thursday I read an article online about the the new Harry Potter theme park that is being built within Universal's Islands of Adventure in Orlando. About two seconds later, my friend Nerdy P sent me the same article via email, and I'm sure thousands if not millions of similar emails were whizzing around amongst Harry Potter fanatics as the news spread. I will most definitely be first in line... I realize this may involve beating back thousands of pre-teens and maybe even pushing the occasional eight-year-old out of the way - but hey, whatever it takes!

I think the move is brilliant on Universal's part... the Islands of Adventure park is now ensured to be a cash cow for life. Think about it - parents can encourage their kids to read all of the books by holding the promise of visiting the theme park over their heads! "No kiddies, don't read these books for the pure enjoyment of reading - read them because you can then eventually be waiting in line for an hour to ride a fake broomstick or a fake Buckbeak!"

While I am truly excited about this latest addition to the theme park world, I am especially happy that its home is going to be in Islands of Adventure, because I went there last year and that place ROCKS. I have been to a lot of theme parks in my day, and Islands of Adventure is second only to Disney World, in my book. Currently it has a very large Marvel Comics area on its grounds that is absolutely amazing. I'm not even into comics and it blew me away, just with the attention to detail that they paid to every little decoration all around, not to mention that the Incredible Hulk rollercoaster and Spiderman interactive ride were each awesome. There is also a Dr. Seuss land and a "Lost Continent" area where there is a decent Jurassic Park ride as well as an extremely fun Dueling Dragons rollercoaster. Anything with dragons I'm going to like! The Harry Potter part of the park is supposed to be designed by the main creative director for the movies, so you know it's going to be good.

So whereas I would already have gone back to Islands of Adventure at some point in the future, now I know exactly when and why I will be going back. And of course I'll throw in visits to Disney World, Animal Kingdom, Epcot and a few others down there for good measure. I should probably just move to Orlando and get a job as one of the people walking around in character costumes just so I get discounts.

Until "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" opens, we have probably all three remaining movies and the remaining book to tide us over for our Harry Potter fix. Actually, now that I think about it - here is my prediction - they will time the opening of the theme park to the release of the final Harry Potter movie in either 2009 or 2010 (the official press release says the park will open in 2010 "but could open sooner). That may be a little aggressive, but we'll see.

Here's to hoping they have real invisibility cloaks for sale!

- e

6/4/07 - Changed "Animal Planet" to "Animal Kingdom"!