Dearly Departed

You’ve got your Jack Nicholson.
You’ve got your Leonardo Dicaprio.
You’ve got your Matt Damon.
You’ve got your… Mark Wahlberg.

Uh… does Marky Mark have Ari Gold for an agent or something? Exactly HOW did Funky Bunch/Boogie Nights Wahlberg get top billing (thought not his picture on the poster, see left) for “The Departed,” especially when Martin Sheen and Alec Baldwin are also in it?

I will tell you why, because he was the best part about the whole damn movie. Him AND Alec Baldwin, actually. Way more enjoyable than the other three supermegastars.

Don’t get me wrong – everyone did a great job and it was an excellent movie which I highly recommend. The very, very end got a tad cheesy and unraveled a bit, but I think it was intentional.

But nearly a week after I saw it, it’s Marky Mark and Alec’s performances that are still the most memorable. They have some rants and one-liners that are so hilarious and in such rapid succession that I feel like I need to see the movie again just to catch them all.

Ladies – if you are excited to see all the fellas in this movie, lower your expectations. Everyone looks like absolute crap all throughout, so there definitely is no eye candy to be enjoyed. However, I will say that it was the first time in a long time that I felt like I was watching a REAL MOVIE. As in, a movie that will be watched long into the future because it is that good (sorry, 'Snakes on a Plane.' I enjoyed you, but 'not in that way'). I guess technically ‘The Departed’ has already been around for a long time, as it is a remake of 'Infernal Affairs,' a Chinese movie. The director of that original version called the Hollywood remake, “pretty good.”

Scorsese replied, "Um... Gee, thanks."

American movie-goers thought it was more than just pretty good, as it became the #1 movie in the country on opening weekend, and is also getting mostly excellent reviews.

All in all, I recommend this movie. It is not as violent as I thought it was going to be, or perhaps I have become desensitized. I did get a little twitchy during the 2.5 hour running time; some things could've moved along a little more quickly. But once again, I felt like it was the first solid movie I have seen in a long time, and it's definitely worth seeing on the big screen.

- e