The MTV Video Music Awards - What Happens in Vegas Will Most Definitely NOT Be Staying in Vegas...

In the "I- know- I'm- getting- too- old- for- this- but- I- don't- care" category, I can't help but be psyched for the MTV Video Music Awards, which will be broadcast LIVE this Sunday night at 9 PM EST.

I bolded, capped and italicized the word "live" above because the opening act is going to be Britney Spears, which is mostly why I'm tuning in (because, let's face it, the past few years have been bo-ring). This is a woman who is clearly not at the top of her game - who has flaked out on several high-profile magazine interviews in the past month alone, who is in the middle of a bitter custody battle (which many people are hoping she'll lose, despite the fact that the kids would then live with K-Fed), who is still growing her hair out from when she shaved it all off before entering rehab in the spring, and who never really "rehabbed" herself in the slightest. She is the opening performer of the show, which is set for the first time ever in Vegas, and it's going to be live. Everyone is going to be waiting for her to screw up - will she back out at the last minute? Will she pull through? Will she freak out on stage and run off? Who knows... that's why I have to watch it.

The media is proclaiming the show as "Britney's Huge Comeback," for which she will be performing her new song "Gimme More." The song is growing on me... it's not as awful as I figured it would/could/should be. If you haven't heard it, see if this works. But fear not, I still will not be contributing my 99 cents on iTunes to support her Cheeto addiction.

As if the fact that she's performing live wasn't risky enough, none other than freak-nasty Criss Angel is the one choreographing her routine. You know, that stringy-haired ugly guy who always wears hats who was dating Cameron Diaz even though he was married (and no one knew it)? That guy! I guess if something does go wrong with her act, she can always blame it on him and say that it was an "illusion gone horribly wrong."

If the allure of seeing Britney completely lose it in front of millions of people is not your thing, then perhaps you would be interested in some of the other performers: Rihanna, Kanye West, Foo Fighters, Nelly Furtado... or presenters: the cast of "Entourage," Jennifer Garner, Shia LaBeouf, Jamie Foxx... the list goes on. Timbaland will be the "maestro" of the night, whatever that means.

A word of caution to those thinking they can catch the show at a later date and time - MTV has made the decision to NOT replay the awards show this year - as in, you have to watch or Tivo it when it's on Sunday night, or you will not see it at all. They used to replay it dozens of times for the months following the show, but no more. You know I'll be in front of my TV ready to witness the drama! And of course, for those of you who do miss it or are unable to see it because it is not airing in your country, I will definitely report back with the low-down a few days after I've had time to process it all. Here's hoping for some memorable moments...

Have a good weekend,
- e