Oops, She Did It, Too!

Oh, Lordy.

I was not ready to learn that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant before I even ate breakfast today! That being said, I still thank the anonymous commenter who informed me of this unbelievable news a little while ago. There had been speculation for the past few months that she was expecting, but I didn't post about it because I figured that no one in Jamie Lynn's situation (which is: having her own show on Nickelodeon and watching her sister's downward spiral for the past several years, not to mention being only 16?!?!?) would ever be that stupid. Silly, silly me.

But it is true. The father is her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, and Jamie Lynn claims that, "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

Umm, I hate to break this to you, girlfriend, but while YOU may have been in shock, HE was seeing dollar signs. He's now hooked to The Spears Money Machine for life, and I guarantee you that he is not concerned in the slightest. What did you both think was going to happen, exactly, when you were getting it on? He was probably praying for this to happen.

Word is that Britney found out with the rest of the world because she has been estranged from her family for a while now. So Kevin was actually told by the family, but Britney found out from the media. Her agent's official statement is, "Britney is aware of the news regarding Jamie Lynn's pregnancy. She wishes her sister nothing but the best and asks for privacy during this time."

I just keep getting more and more upset about this. NO ONE in the Spears household really wants privacy?!?! Please! If Jamie Lynn wanted privacy, she wouldn't have agreed to tell her story to OK! magazine (and you can guarantee she was paid well for that--this is the same magazine that paid millions for Jessica Simpson covers and Eva Longoria's wedding pics--they're nothing in comparison to this scoop!). And Britney doesn't want privacy, either, because literally every day she is out and about in some conspicuous way, basically begging the paparazzi to take her picture.

I checked Jamie Lynn's official web site moments ago to see if her news was posted. But the last update on there was, "Congratulations to Jamie Lynn for being nominated for the Favorite Television Actress at the 2007 Kid's Choice Awards!!"

D'oh! The parents of all of her kiddie fans are NOT going to be happy when they have to explain why Zoey 101 goes off the air! I seriously can't wait to see how Nickelodeon chooses to handle this...

As if it weren't bad enough that this young girl from the most screwed up family ever is pregnant, British singer Lily Allen (who has been seen smoking very recently) and Jessica Alba, who is completely dense, are as well. The only good news about this situation is that at least three of my friends are also pregnant right now, and they don't smoke, do drugs, nor are they insane. In fact, they are all very smart and are upstanding citizens contributing good things to this world. I hate to have to be the one to inform all of them that their future babies must be the ones to fight the level of stupidity that will be brought into the world around the same time, in an attempt to not throw the universe off-balance. It's a big job for people who aren't even born yet, but somebody's got to save this planet!

- e