Next Made Me Cry, "NEXT!!!"

I'm not really sure what compelled me to rent Next, but I should've realized that it was a bad sign when I couldn't even remember the film being out in theaters last year -- despite the fact that it stars Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore and Jessica Biel (among other recognizable names). However, although I always try to deny it, I just can't get enough of Nic Cage's hair, so perhaps I was feeling the need to see it again, who knows.

On the surface, Next seemed like it should've been right up my alley: a man (Cage) can see two minutes into the future and therefore continually changes his actions in the present so that things go his way. I'm all about time manipulation -- bring it on!

Alas, when they said that this thriller was loosely based on sci-fi master Philip K. Dick's short story "The Golden Man," they meant really, really loosely. In place of the mutants that dominated the original story, there's a goofy and totally unbelievable love story between Cage and Biel's characters. Yes, I can believe that a dude could possibly be born with the power to see two minutes into his own future, but I cannot believe any attempt Cage and Biel could ever make at feigning romantic chemistry.

If a movie motivates ME to complain "that would NEVER happen," then it is truly ridiculous, because as you all know, I can suspend disbelief with the best of them.

I can't recommend Next in good conscience, which makes me truly sad, because its premise is extremely cool. Maybe someone will make a TRUE adaptation of "The Golden Man" one day and not screw it up with the lovey-dovey crap.

Here's the trailer for the film, which smartly plays down the romantic angle:

Ah, Nic. I'll just have to wait for National Treasure 3 to see that hair again.

- e