Rants from My TV Marathon

The temperature dropped over thirty degrees (pretty much within the span of one day -- sorry, fall wardrobe!) here in Chicago last week, and therefore my hibernation instincts have fully kicked into high gear. I am not looking forward to the next several months of crappy weather... but to keep myself from getting too depressed, I watched a whole bunch of TV this past weekend. All huddled in my bed under several pounds of blankets, comforters and clothing, mind you.

I have now annihilated my Tivo list, so if you aren't up-to-date on any of the shows below, you might want to skip reading this post until you've watched their latest episodes...


The Hills

My prayers have been answered! Audrina moved away from the flake that is LC and the shrew that is Lo, Heidi was fired, and someone finally told Spencer what time it was! I knew that sacrificing thousands of my brain cells to this show would eventually be worth it.

But wait... Audrina is trying to get Justin Bobby to live with her, it looks like Heidi is going to be given back the job she was fired from a day earlier, and Spencer will continue to slink around LA doing nothing whatsoever of value. Oh, well, I was happy for about three minutes, so there's something to be said for that, right?


Dirty Sexy Money

Ahh, crap. They "went there." They actually had Nick separate from Lisa and run to Karen. I am not liking where this story line is going. I'm actually no fan of Nick's wife -- their chemistry is non-existent, but at the same time, it's totally unbelievable that he would ever actually want to be with ditsy Karen. Aren't we supposed to LIKE Nick?


The Office

Double crap! I was worried before that they were going to make Jim and Pam run into problems before they actually got married. And that seems to be the way it's going, with Pam's friend's speech about Ms. Beesly needing to stay in NYC for the advancement of her career. On top of that, Amy Ryan seems to have left the show, and her character was perfect as a match for Steve Carell's Michael Scott. And on top of THAT, I am getting a really uncomfortable vibe now from the whole Andy-Angela-Dwight triangle. That needs to end. Now.


Gossip Girl

This used to be the show I could count on for pure entertainment that wouldn't annoy me in any way, shape or form. But Serena's new flame is a total loser and not cute at all. And Little J's lame drama is taking up way too much air-time. And while I was of course excited to see The Princess Bride's Vizzini ("Inconceivable!") as Mrs. Waldorf's romantic interest, I need WAY more Chuck Bass to be satisfied!

Powers that be at The CW, please make a spin-off show solely about Chuck. Pretty please?



The Amazing Race

Unfortunately, I'm not really rooting for anyone this time around. Nick and Starr are obviously the most competent team, and I have no problems with Dallas/"Teen Wolf" and his mom, either. But those frat guys have GOT TO GO. As does the chick with the eyebrows that are giving me nightmares. At least the bratty and ultra-stupid divorcées are gone -- I was getting way too riled up shouting at them through the TV screen. Seriously, how many times did they just straight-up NOT read the clues carefully?


Survivor: Gabon

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Survivor has actually been my favorite show this fall. I was watching it on the treadmill last week and literally gasped out loud when it was revealed that Marcus -- and not Susie -- had been voted out. As in, the dude on the machine next to me looked over to see if I was OK. I even yelled "Yay!" when nerdboy Kenny made his comment about how in comic books, everyone roots for the underdog to triumph over the bully. I hope he wins the whole thing -- he's my favorite player by far this season.

As a side note, I was equally as shocked when I watched the previous week's episode where Ace got the boot. I wouldn't have counted on Sugar to follow through with it. Even though they're regretting it now, I think it was the right move.


Real World/Road Rules: The Island

Yes, it is totally unacceptable that I watched this show. At least it's over now, right? I actually sat through FIVE episodes in a row the other night, so I was in a Stupid Stupor for hours afterward. I will say, however, that the final few installments were absolutely riveting. Ev -- who I hated in Rookies Vs. Veterans -- became my favorite player this time around because everyone else was certifiably insane. Her move to save Johhny in order to secure a spot on the boat that would surely make it to the treasure chest first was pure brilliance.

And that reunion special? Yowza. Talk about drama. KellyAnne needs some meds -- that chick is NUTS. What's with throwing gang signs when you're shouting at everyone?


The Future

Tonight, Top Chef returns. While I doubt I'll enjoy it as much as I did when it was in Chicago (remember my millisecond of fame?), my hopes are high that this season will provide a lot of entertainment.

And hopefully you've heard about the upcoming two-hour TV movie "24: Redemption," airing on November 23, which will serve as a set-up for the seventh season of the Jack Bauer Power Hour. 24 will (finally) return to us with back-to-back episodes in January. American Idol is back at the start of the new year, as well. Now that Simon's broken up with his girlfriend, you can bet that he's going to be extra-snooty!


I better stock up on hot cocoa -- there's lots of TV-watching ahead!

- e