Monday, September 11, 2006

I wanna be sedated... or WHAT HAPPENED to Jordan Catalano?!?!

The good ol' days. My dear friends -

When recently watching the MTV Video Music Awards, I was struck by two thoughts:

1) "Back in MY day... MTV actually PLAYED videos!!! Who are all these bands??!?! This show SUCKS."


2) "What in the hell happened to Jordan Catalano?!?!?"

Both of these questions made me realize that I am old. But that's another topic. Today's area of focus is the actor Jared Leto, known to many females across the USA only as his character Jordan Catalano from My So-Called Life. The question of the hour is: Why has he taken such a drastic nose-dive in the looks, fashion and coolness departments?

Going for the Oscar.
I will forgive him for gaining 62 pounds for playing John Lennon's assassin in the upcoming movie Chapter 27. And I will even look past the gross fact that he got a case of the gout because of said weight gain and subsequent loss. By the way, what in the hell is gout? That's one of those things you just don't hear about anymore.

I digress.

So I will forgive Jordan, I mean Jared, for those things, but I cannot look past his ultra- ultra-cheesy-trying-way-to-hard-to-be-a-hip-rocker appearance at the VMAs. A scarf, eyeliner and dour expression do not a rock star make!

This look inspires me to write really deep lyrics, man.

What an idiot.And I pretty much don't even care if his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, is any good or not. They have a freaky video that's a rip-off of The Shining, so that upset me because that's the scariest movie I've ever seen and I don't like to be reminded of it. And quite honestly, nothing he could do with his band will ever beat his performance of The Ramones' "I Wanna Be Sedated" when he filled in for a stage-frightened Rayanne on MS-CL. Dammit, that was a great show.

After that series ended, he was best known for... his dating exploits.

Cameron Diaz, Scarlett Johansson, Lindsay Lohan, an Olsen twin or two, and a bevy of other young girls about half his age. However, the word on the street is that he treated them all like crap. I mean, would YOU be concerned with your text messaging if YOU were in his position in this photo?

But for whatever reason, the girlies still seem to love Leto despite his severely declining looks and lack of talent. Resistance to the Power of Jordan is futile, it seems.

- e

1 comment:

Jill said...

"I like the way he leans." I miss the old Jared/Jordan too...