Monday, July 31, 2006

9021-OH NO she didn't?!?!

If only they knew then what we know now...

I have been completely fascinated by the drama unfolding around the divvying up of the late TV producer Aaron Spelling's estate.

Let me break the situation down for you, which, if nothing else, proves what Diddy (or, at that point in time, Puff Daddy) said best many years ago:

"Mo' money, mo' problems."

Here is the deal:

1) Aaron Spelling's estate is worth anywhere from $500 - $656 million.

2) He was thought to have been struggling with Alzheimer's disease, and in fact, it is listed as one of the causes of death on his death certificate. Some say this may leave his will open to be contested legally, even though it actually has a "no contest" clause.

3) It was widely thought that his wife, nut-job Candy Spelling, was stepping out on Aaron with a "longtime family friend," Mark Nathanson, leading to bad blood between her and her children. Additionally, a few weeks ago it was reported that she planned to sell the 56,500 square foot (yeah, you read that right) family mansion for an estimated $150 million, which would apparently set all sorts of real estate records. Then she went on record to deny that she intended to sell the mansion. We will probably never know the real story.

4) Tori, the only daughter of Aaron and most recognized for her portrayal as the innocent and goofy 'Donna' on Beverly Hills, 90210 (one of her father's shows), had been in a long-standing family feud with her parents, which is thought to have begun over the fact that she divorced her first husband to be with a then-married man, who she later married (and this man now has very awkward tattoos of Tori all over his body). Tori reportedly finally introduced her new husband, Dean, to her father 11 days before his death, thus ending her feud with him, but had not yet reconciled with her mother.

5) Tori learns of her father's death FROM AN EMAIL on her blackberry FROM A FRIEND who heard about it on TV. Now, I don't really care what kind of problems a family has, that is just crappy. No one should learn that someone in their family has died, much less their father, from an email from a non-relative. Adding insult to injury, Candy left Tori's name off of the official statement from the family about Aaron's passing.

6) Last week, it was reported that Aaron's will was changed only two months ago, and because her mother Candy is the executor of Aaron's estate, Tori will get only .16% (POINT ONE SIX!) of the family's fortune - about $260,000 in cash and about $780,000 in investments. I could take the stance of "Well, that's still more than most people will ever have in their lifetimes," but I'm not going to... I'm going to take Tori's side on this one. WAll dolls are eeeevil!hy? Because her mom is a doll collector (there is a MUSEUM for the DOLLS in the mansion???), and that just freaks me out (we ALL KNOW that dolls come to life at night and do bad things!!!). Additionally, I actually think that despite the gaping canyon on her chest, a sure sign of plastic surgery gone awry, Tori is a pretty normal person. Supposedly she never got any money from her parents in her adult life (aside from her first wedding, which was a multi-million dollar event), so the image the media often portrays of her as the "poor little rich girl" is not entirely accurate.

7) Another reason why I'm on Tori's side is this (according to magazine sources): "Spelling left a staggering $50,000 to his home decorator and $25,000 to Candy's personal manicurist."

Manicurist: $25,000
Home Decorator: $50,000
Only daughter: $250,000 in cash, $780,000 in investments
Befuddled looks by normal people after reading this: priceless

So why, despite the entertainment value provided by its bizarre twists and turns, do I care about how this story all turns out? I'll tell you why. Because part of me still sees Tori as Donna Martin on 90210. And because one of the most horrifying moments I've seen on TV (not including actual real-life events, obviously) was during the Season Four 90210 finale, when Donna caught David cheating on her with his music producer, Ariel. This forever made me hate Brian Austin Green in real life, but also tainted the name Ariel, once associated with much happier things like The Little Mermaid. For whatever reason, I just bawled my heart out during that finale, and the memory of my reaction to that scene has stayed with me to this day. Here are some of the details of that infamous episode, for old time's sake: Brandon gets an internship in Washington DC, and Brenda infamously "goes to London to study acting" and is never seen again.

All hail the power of high-waisted jeans, tennis shoes and baggy t-shirts!If you were ever a fan of this show, I HIGHLY encourage you to scroll through this episode summary list ... it is hilarious how many "issues" they covered (badly, at that) in this show. I also came across this page, which debates the exact point at which the show became really, really awful. But yet all of this still makes me yearn for the simpler days of my high school years, when we would all gather together to watch this show (you would not be let in unless you yelled "90210!!!!" really loudly after knocking on the front door) and then spend hours debriefing after each episode.

So Tori, or Donna, or whoever you are - give your crazy-ass mother hell... I hope you end up getting what is fair.

- e

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If you haven't see no-TORI-ous.... i have to say it is pretty good.