Friday, July 07, 2006

Pet Peeve of the Week - Movie Line Jumping

I REALLY like going to see movies.

And typically, if it's a movie that I am especially excited about, I try to go on opening night.

Like Mulder said best, the truth is out there.Why? Because the best people are at movies on opening night. People who actually CARE about the movie. People who are excited. People who emanate good vibes. People who wear awesome t-shirts like the one shown on this page (and if you don't know what that means but you care to find out, read this). People who, like me, are desperate for some escapism, to leave behind their realities of Workin' for The Man for a mere two hours and just BELIEVE that there ARE superheroes, or hobbits, or magical kid wizards, or pirates, or whatever suits your fancy.

So hear this: when those people, who wait in line for HOURS for that blissful experience in order to get a good seat on opening night, are interrupted by rude morons who attempt to cut into the line once it finally starts moving like no one is going to notice, they will show no mercy.

In case you don't understand what I am talking about... typically on opening night for any good movie, the line starts forming about 2-3 hours in advance (MUCH longer for something like Star Wars or LOTR, obviously...). At some point, the line gets too long for the barricades the movie theater has set up, and they typically start a second part of the line somewhere else. Hell hath no fury like people waiting in the first part of the line when they think a movie theater employee is not paying attention to them and may let the second-half-of-the-line-people in first. But that usually doesn't happen (I'm sure many an unsuspecting ticket-taker learned the hard way on that one). But what ALWAYS seems to happen is that there are a few scammers who come about a half-hour before the movie starts (which is when the line is usually let in), and they just try to "merge" into the long-established line.

While I admit I can get easily excited about things I'm passionate about, I'm still typically not a mean person. "Violence is not the answer," is a personal motto (often said jokingly when trying to calm myself or others down at work). However, if you cross me in a movie line, you will pay. It's like everyone in the line is already in their magical movieland world, so they actually think they have super powers or ninja skills and can take down people three times their size. A friend of mine witnessed this on opening night of Spiderman 2. We had been in line for hours and they were letting us in and people started jumping into the line and I just went crazy. She just stared, stunned. "Wow, you really ARE into this, aren't you?"

Best. T-shirt. Ever.Yes, yes I am. I don't ask for much, I just want a little order. Is that so wroooonng?

So hear this: If you see me in line for Pirates of the Caribbean tonight, watch out. My fellow nerds with toy swords will certainly defend me if you attempt to sneak past...

- e


Anonymous said...

Hey E-

Are you going to do a blog on the missing Suri Cruise? Are you in the same camp I am that there is NO baby and it was all a hoax to steer people away from the fact that he's gay? Or, do you not want to even waste your time because he has become such a joke?

Jill said...

Shout out to the best t-shirt ever! It was one of the 2 t-shirts that made the cut to come to Kaz...I gotta represent!

Speaking of which, today I picked up a very cool t-shirt for you--you can wear it to the Borat premiere and your fellow nerds in line will be very jealous : )

Anonymous said...

what peeves me the most are SEAT SNATCHERS. this occurs when a couple comes into a crowded theatre (always late - when the "silence is golden" commercial comes on) to find one open seat in the middle of a row. they invariably ask everyone to the right of that seat to shift one seat over. those people, then, have to decide whether to stay in the seats that they have been occupying for the last hour and risk missing the beginning of the movie or to acquiesce to the latecomers...needless to say, the seat snatchers usually win, and thus they procure the two best (middle) seats in the entire theatre.