Tuesday, May 06, 2008

e's Favorite Things: Crap You Didn't Know You Needed at BB&B and L&T

You gotta love springtime in Chicago. One day it's 40 degrees and hailing, the next day it's 80 degrees and humid. A side effect of these wild swings in the weather is that nearly everyone in the city gets sick at one point or another. And now it's my turn.

I started sensing that I might be coming down with something late last week, when I woke up with a tickle in the back of my throat and that gross "sick taste" in my mouth. Sure enough, as each day progressed, I felt worse and worse. Now I'm totally disgusting and have a small pharmacy of meds in my bathroom after a doctor's visit yesterday.

But before my sore throat spiraled into complete and utter grossness, I thought that I could perhaps fight the battle against germs in one small way: I would get new pillows, a new comforter and anti-microbe cases for both my mattress and my pillows.

So this weekend I trekked all around my neighborhood... to Linens 'n Things, to Bed Bath & Beyond, and then back to Linens & Things (I found another 20% off coupon, hooray!). While I was a good girl and stuck to my list of items I needed to get, I couldn't help but marvel at all of the crap I desperately wanted to get. I am now convinced that these stores pipe some sort of magical vapors out through their ventilation systems to make people go crazy and buy ridiculous gadgets and unnecessary toys.

Do I really need an inflatable, floating house? I don't even have a backyard, much less kids, much less a pool! But dammit, it was awesome and was only $10. I found myself thinking, Who do I know with a pool... I will get this for them! Then I stopped myself and forced my legs to keep moving...

... Only to be drawn to the weatherproof recliner the next aisle over. Hmm, now that I'm writing from home, maybe I should get outside more often. Wait, what? There's a complete set of deck furniture for only $200? Must... get... out... of... here...

I had almost made it to the safety of the check-out line when I spotted a wine bottle opener that converted into a thermometer that could then transform into a back massager. I HAD TO HAVE IT! (OK, so maybe I made that one up, but you know there are crazy things like that in these stores!)

Back away, e, back away, I told myself. I paid for my new pillows and got the heck out of there.

After I was back in the fresh air, I realized that I seriously need to spend several hours in both Linens 'n Things and Bed Bath & Beyond one day. Yeah, some of the stuff they carry is over-the-top, but other things really are cool. I owe it to myself to thoroughly investigate the crap I didn't even know I needed.

Ice Cream Ball... here I come! (Seriously, what IS that thing?)

- e


Anonymous said...

Grin - now you know why Jacob and/or Shoppers should ALWAYS make out a list before doing the deeds.

The Other E

Anonymous said...


One other thing ... which I'm sure you know but I'll say anyway. Upon first inkling of "something in the throat" load up on massive amounts of ZINC (lozenges) which will dramatically shorten your misery.

Just a Though ...

The Other E

Lula! said...

You've summed up my feelings about the entire Hammacher Schlemmer, Sharper Image, and Brookstone catalogs. Everything I never knew I needed, but MUST HAVE NOW. For a pretty penny at that. And don't even get me started on my husband's passion for informercials. The Zorbeez towels should arrive anyday now.

Anonymous said...

i am the proud owner of an ice cream ball, and let me tell you, it's pretty cool... and i'm 22... i bought it for my 10 year old sister... really! ;)

we sell them at the toy store i work at, and they sell out super fast!

i am a sucker for stuff like that tho...