Friday, April 18, 2008

Say It Ain't So!

Does it make me an awful person for not wanting certain people to procreate?

The latest pregnancy rumor that has me all riled up is about Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. People.com reports that she's expecting, my latest issue of Us Weekly has a spotlight about this same story on its cover, and Ashlee didn't exactly deny the rumors in an interview on MTV. Noooooo!!!!! I can't deal with "bump watch" for her for the next nine months. Seriously, I can't deal with it. I will have to stop reading all of my magazines and visiting all of my gossip web sites. I refuse to put myself through the agony.

I simply cannot stand these two. First off, he is a dork--plain and simple. And not in a good way. He looks exactly the same in every single picture I've ever seen of him... he's sporting some stupid hat or hoodie, is wearing mostly black clothes, and his stringy hair is combed down over his forehead and eyeliner-rimmed eyes, He is NOT cute, but has somehow fooled a bunch of young girls who like his band, Fall Out Boy, into thinking that he is.

And as for her? I seriously don't even know where to begin. Oh, wait, yes I do... just read my rant about Jessica Simpson, because it pretty much all applies to her sister as well. The only difference between Ashlee and Jessica is that Ashlee had a nose job and thinks she's a "rocker chick" because she dates a wimpy guy in a poser band. That entire family just needs to GO AWAY. Stop torturing the rest of us!

And if the rumors are true... then there's going to be yet ANOTHER annoying Simpson offspring to grate on the nerves of generations to come.

I weep for the future.

- e

7 comments:

cinematicallycorrect said...

That post gives me hope...I know that there are people out there that despise punk emo kids just as much as I do. That kids band sucks, his hoodie sucks, his wannabe-Cure eye liner sucks, and his fiance/baby momma sucks.

Actually, we should all punch an emo kid in the face today. Seriously. Do it. They won't mind...it happens to them all the time.

e said...

The two year anniversary of "Punch an Emo Kid in the Face Day" is soon upon us!

http://larvatusprodeo.net/2006/06/06/punch-an-emo-for-satan/

Abigail said...

alright, i'm slightly offended. i usually love your blog, and i also do not care for the simpson sisters. but promoting "punch an emo in the face" after the violence against such kids around the world? hmmm, i don't even know what to say.

e said...

Hi there Abigail -

Whoa, are you serious? There was actually violence??? I honestly did not know that... I really thought it was all just a silly joke. I, too, am shocked and appalled if someone actually has punched even ONE "emo kid" in the face... that's just crazy!

Definitely didn't mean to promote any violence--my apologies! When I searched for that phrase, no articles about anything ever happening from what I thought was a "fake day" came up, so I truly had no idea about whatever you're referring to that seems to have happened.

Sorry!
- e

Anonymous said...

Hey e! Just read Joe Simpson (Papa Joe in the celeb circles) is on the prowl looking to sell pictures of his pregnant daughter and eventual grandchild to the highest bidder. Former pastor even. Maybe he and Slutney's mom Lynne need to go bowling. Or to church!

Lula! said...

"Ashlee's bump watch" will soon be upon us. I, too, love all things pop culture/celebrity, but the overexposure of the Simpson gals, Britney, the Conrad/Montag feud and the Jolie-Pitts has really taken a turn for the worse. This is why I'm glad Lost returns in 3 days...a welcome reprise, please!
p.s. And Fall Out Boy? Oh, please...not even worth wasting my time on.

LilyLa said...

E - just wanted to tell you that I am right there with you on the Simpson family - UGH!!! I can't stand them!!!!! Why oh why do we have to be subjected to them???