Meeps, Dolly and She-Pratt (Oh My!)

Even if you don't watch, or have never seen, The Bachelor, I beg of you to play the 45-second video below. While it is a clip from the show, it has nothing to do with the show--I just want you to experience the craziness of "The Meeps."

This one girl gets stress-induced hiccups and it totally sounds like Beaker from The Muppet Show, no lie. I feel really bad for her, because otherwise she is one of the nicest and most normal girls in the competition. The other contestants must be really used to her problem by now if they can carry on a conversation during one of her episodes...

Wasn't that crazy?

Nothing new to report with The Bachelor... I don't think any of the women are good matches for Matt, The Best Bachelor Ever. But now I'm just too curious to see which of the goofballs he picks to stop watching the show.


American Idol

I haven't commented on AI in a while, but the appearance of Dolly Parton on the show last night (and I assume she'll be on again tonight, too) inspired me to say something: Dolly Parton rocks. She is totally hilarious. The best part of the show was when she was worried about her "false eyelashes" (I say fake eyelashes, you say false eyelashes, toMAYto, toMAHto) coming off if she cried at David Archuleta's version of "Smokey Mountain Memories." Well, I cried at it, only because I can't stand him anymore. My 2008 Cute Quota was hit the second time he sang, and now after he performs I feel like I want to throw up because it's as if I ate ten bags of candy or something. He should really just quit the show and start working for Disney already.

It's a damn shame that Chikezie is gone, because he was going to sing "9 to 5." Which he probably would've either rocked or completely blown--there could've been no in-between. Alas, it was not meant to be. At this point, I like Brooke White the best. I think Ramiele should've been kicked off a long time ago, and I could take or leave everyone else. But Simon totally called it last night regarding Irish Chick Carly... she needs to get a makeover. I'm sure she's proud of that gargantuan tattoo and all (since her husband's entire body, including his face, is covered with ink), but it's distracting. She also consistently chooses unflattering outfits for her body type. While her voice is strong, I just don't think she's going to win. Who will, though, is anyone's guess. Am I the only one who feels the title is totally up for grabs?


The Hills

Ah, a full hour of nothingness from The Hills this week. Actually, I liked that they focused on Whitney a bit more--she's the only one with a real job and any sense of responsibility. The part where her new boss said, "Um, and, if you haven't noticed, you always have to be dressed in all black" was one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. Whitney's gonna be kickin' the East Coast style on the West Coast and it's going to freak everyone out!

Back in Lauren-land, could they have been anymore obvious that her budding friendship with Stephanie Pratt is going to eventually burst into flames? Everyone kept on not-to-subtly warning Lauren to "be careful" around the She-Pratt. But I would take Stephanie over Spencer any day.


The Office

That's right, I said The Office! It's back with a new episode April 10 (next Thursday), but guess what? My Tivo wasn't going to record it. What up with that? So I thought I would do a PSA of sorts and let those of you who watch it know that you better check your DVRs. Mine never records new episodes of Survivor, either, but then tries to record ALL episodes of The Hills because none of them are listed as reruns. I view this as an evil plot by MTV to infect the world with The Hills virus. I literally found 20 episodes set to record over the next week when I checked my "To Do" list on Tivo last night. No one should be subjected to that much of nothing.

- e